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Old 12-04-2014, 05:33 AM #1
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Default eating alone

I hate taking meals by myself. It's a huge struggle to eat even with people around, but by myself it becomes nearly impossible unless someone is checking up on me. So few people in my life are willing to go through the effort to make sure I'm eating, it's really just one person keeping tabs on me and I know I'm a huge burden on her. This isn't something she should be doing by herself. I've been eating less this past week or so and I know part of the reason is that she's had Stuff going on and doesn't have the extra energy to babysit me. If only everyone else wasn't so busy pretending everything was going to work itself out automagically. Ignore the smoke and smile.

I've been feeling pretty lonely the past couple nights and I can't get in touch with anyone who's normally awake at this hour who might want to talk to me. Especially after the holiday, I couldn't get in touch with my sister, left my dad our traditional holiday voicemail, my mother spent the whole dinner talking about her upcoming move across the ocean, I guess I'm feeling pretty abandoned. (Plus she's on yet another diet, I was so worried that thanksgiving was going to be all huge portions and fear foods but... nope. Here I am trying to gain weight and everyone around me just talks about how fat they are.)

I'm rambling.

I brought my rats out of their cage to keep me company and managed to force down a sandwich but I'm thinking that's the only food I'll be able to eat tonight without someone making me. I just don't want to eat alone anymore.
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Old 12-04-2014, 01:04 PM #2
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Default Re: eating alone

eI don't like to eat alone either. It can be pretty lonely but it still needs to be done. I wish the two of us could get together to eat but we are much too far apart. I'm glad you have your rats to keep you company. Pets are really important to us. Anyway, why don't you join in the chats around here. Maybe then you wouldn't feel so lonely. Or even have a private chat with someone from the Eating Disorders forum.
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Old 12-07-2014, 10:52 PM #3
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Default Re: eating alone

Yes, living alone for the past 7 years...I don't have my H who would want to eat at a certain time...I just let fixing food slide....sometimes for several days.....as I tend to loose time when I get involved with projects around my farm....& I forget that it was the previous day that I ate.....but the cold snowy weather is making me more hungry so I tend to make just something small to eat & sit at my computer while I eat.....that way I don't feel so alone as I'm posting or connecting with other people that way.

Honestly for me....living & eating alone is so much better than the bad marriage I was in for 33 years......don't have a problem with the alone part of life & my dogs keep me wonderful company......Leo will even eat my food if I'm not guarding it.....that makes me more frustrated than anything because when I finally to prepare something to eat.....I don't want to have to prepare something else.

You know some people just aren't alone people....I was an only child growing up.....I didn't need to have people around me & I still don't even though I do enjoy the friends I have.

My problem is that my kitchen gets messed up because I'm busy doing other things....NOT DISHES....& then I end up with no room to do any cooking......so I end up not wanting to make anything to add to the already large mess.......all my excuses for NOT eating.

However....living alone & wanting to be alone.....I know that I can't allow myself to get so hungry that I can no longer take care of myself (which has happened to me several times in the past)......I don't want to pass out living alone because I haven't been eating like would happen before when I was living in my marriage......it wasn't that I wanted to be taken care of but there were so many stressful triggers that caused me NOT TO EAT....& the bad marriage on top of trauma were major triggers to feel sick & not want to eat.....probably control issues more than anything.

It's nice to have someone who does hold us accountable....but it's much better when we are the one that holds ourselves accountable.
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Old 12-09-2014, 02:48 PM #4
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Default Re: eating alone

I HATE EATING ALONE.. I've tried my best to keep myself healthy and to get close to my family specially when dinner is ready..
And so, last 3 days I've been serving myself dinner so I can try and be freaking "normal" and eat with them as a "family"..
Well.. I've been eating alone/home alone .. that's.. yeah.. it hurts trying and trying and no one been there..
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Old 12-15-2014, 07:32 AM #5
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Default Re: eating alone

I too live alone, I find I'll cook something and then when I sit down to eat I struggle to enjoy it.
My cooking's not bad, but sometimes I will force myself to eat it when I don't particularly want to.
If I had someone come in and cook for me, I know I'd probably enjoy it more than my own cooking.
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Old 12-16-2014, 12:48 AM #6
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Heart Re: eating alone

i am this way too... unless my boyfriend comes over and makes me food i wont eat... i only see him on weekends too.. just remember to drink water and maybe just try to eat some plain vegetables like steamed broccoli and a raw carrot, an apple.. simple stuff like that so its not like a big meal by yourself... that kind of helps me
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Old 12-16-2014, 07:01 AM #7
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Default Re: eating alone

I don't usually go out & eat alone either but had the most awesome experience tonight. I had errands & shopping to do & hadn't eaten much for the last 2 days. I had a gift card for this restaurant I hadn't used in a year & I was hungry for a nice grilled hamburger. So I decided to just stop there & eat dinner after 9pm.

The waitress was so sweet & the restaurant wasn't crowded...she only had one other table she was serving & we ended up having a wonderful chat. She shared sweet pics of her adorable children. Great food & wonderful interface. Not at all what I had pictured when I walked into the restaurant alone.

Hamburger with pineapple & sweet hot asian sauce, sweetpotato fries & carmel pretzel for dessert....only problem....my body has problems immediately after eating wben I haven't eaten much in a few days. Went to the restroom before leaving the restaurant but that was the longest 30 minute drive home with no restrooms as it is all country from there to my farm. Got home & left everything including my dogs in my truck & flew upstairs to my bathroom. Wonderful dinner but miserable drive home...the dinner & the sweet waitress was worth it though.
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Leo's favorite place was riding shot gun in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this.
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Old 01-08-2019, 04:52 AM #8
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Default Re: eating alone

^^sounds familiar. Been attempting to stop that for some years now. It gets better Eskie, the less you need to do that mad rush to let it go...
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