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Old 11-19-2015, 03:10 PM #1
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Default What to say to others

Does anyone have any phrases or advice about what to say when strangers/family members acquaintances mention you're too thin in public? When someone approaches me privately out of concern I have a lot easier time opening up but I fumble around and get extremely awkward when people say something in a public setting or if they aren't a close friend. I need a 'go to' response! Just FYI I am in outpatient treatment and my husband, close friends, and family know my history and current situation just to clarify.
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Old 11-22-2015, 10:41 AM #2
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Default Re: What to say to others

how about "thank you for your concern. i am addressing the situation."
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Old 12-03-2015, 11:17 PM #3
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Default Re: What to say to others

I would say, with a smile and then change the topic, "oh you think so?" Or "oh well thanks for your concern, and you look quite healthy, you look like you're doing well! I'm happy for you" Even though this might still feel awkward...you have a right to change the topic in a polite way if u want to, I think. Also, I just wanted to say good job fighting to take care of yourself.
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Old 12-19-2015, 12:53 AM #4
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Default Re: What to say to others

Why not just say...."yes it's something I'm working on, thank you for your concern"
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Old 12-22-2015, 08:29 PM #5
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Default Re: What to say to others

I think your question has a few answers because you've addressed two different parties: strangers and family members. I'll add a third: acquaintances/colleagues

If it's truly a random stranger making a comment, you don't owe any response. Personally, I think a blank stare is most appropriate. I view discussing a stranger's weight as a boundary violation that should be met with a wall.

With friends/fam, you may choose to respond with the "think you for your concern; it's something I'm working on" or, if you think that will bring on too much food-gawking, you could skip the "it's something I'm working on" part and replace it with, "you have always been so kind [to me]."

The gray area is a casual acquaintance. If you're trying to determine if the person is a friendly, you could try, "oh, why do you say that?" That would tease out whether they're truly concerned, jealous, think you're a freak, etc., and you could respond accordingly. If that's too much work (and it would be for me), I fall back on "Yep, that's just how I am" and change the subject.

Full disclosure: what I say in my head is very different

Last edited by ShaggyChic_1201; 12-22-2015 at 08:37 PM. Reason: posted too soon
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Old 12-29-2015, 10:57 AM #6
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Default Re: What to say to others

I respond a little differently. I think I'm more afraid of having a "psych" diagnosis. I just say, I'm dealing with an illness, thanks for your concern, it's being addressed and say it pretty firmly. Most people don't ask anything else.
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Old 01-08-2019, 04:04 AM #7
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Default Re: What to say to others

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaggyChic_1201 View Post


Personally, I think a blank stare is most appropriate. I view discussing a stranger's weight as a boundary violation that should be met with a wall.
The gray area is a casual acquaintance. If you're trying to determine if the person is a friendly, you could try, "oh, why do you say that?" That would tease out whether they're truly concerned, jealous, think you're a freak, etc., and you could respond accordingly. If that's too much work (and it would be for me), I fall back on "Yep, that's just how I am" and change the subject.

Full disclosure: what I say in my head is very different

This ^^ especially the blank stare part.
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Old 01-08-2019, 04:10 AM #8
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Default Re: What to say to others

I cant stand the fact that people think they have a right to talk to someone about their physical appearance like that in public. Its no one's business. If they have real care and concern then MAYBE privately but stfu in public.
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