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Fuzzybear
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Trig Dec 29, 2019 at 11:54 AM
  #1
I changed my mind about this post.
…...

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Last edited by Fuzzybear; Dec 29, 2019 at 12:14 PM..
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Default Dec 29, 2019 at 12:17 PM
  #2
Hi, Fuzzy.

Yes, there were deeper reasons for me. A violent childhood, as you know.

I've given it a lot of thought over the years, and now see anorexia / bulimia as:

1. A way of making pain visible. Stopping the world. Saying very clearly that things are NOT alright.

2. An obsession. And, as with other obsessions, it can be used to distract from the real problem. (In my case, the real problem was low self esteem and not having the tools to defend myself, for instance against workplace bullies).

3. A phobia of 'fat'. A phobia being a learned behaviour and quite different to the other aspects of anorexia. But just as deadly. This is the one that leads to that feeling of, Ugh, no, I can't bear to gain even one pound in weight.

4. Highly resistant to 'normal' treatments. Clumsy psych help can definitely make it worse! For me, luckily, I almost chanced upon a counsellor who was really into inner child CBT. And that really worked for me. Well, it took years of false dawns, but now I would never go back to that horror.

All you can think about is food and vomiting. Every waking second. No enjoyment in being thin, just terror of not maintaining it. There is literally no upside to this disease!

Big hugs to anyone who is trapped in that Hell.
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Default Dec 29, 2019 at 12:18 PM
  #3
Oh, I see you changed your mind, Fuzzy. I can certainly delete my post if you want!

Thanks anyway, for always opening things up for me when I don't know where to start
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Default Dec 29, 2019 at 12:28 PM
  #4
Thanks for this response dear purple

Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue View Post
Hi, Fuzzy.

Yes, there were deeper reasons for me. A violent childhood, as you know.

I've given it a lot of thought over the years, and now see anorexia / bulimia as:

1. A way of making pain visible. Stopping the world. Saying very clearly that things are NOT alright.

2. An obsession. And, as with other obsessions, it can be used to distract from the real problem. (In my case, the real problem was low self esteem and not having the tools to defend myself, for instance against workplace bullies).

3. A phobia of 'fat'. A phobia being a learned behaviour and quite different to the other aspects of anorexia. But just as deadly. This is the one that leads to that feeling of, Ugh, no, I can't bear to gain even one pound in weight.

4. Highly resistant to 'normal' treatments. Clumsy psych help can definitely make it worse! For me, luckily, I almost chanced upon a counsellor who was really into inner child CBT. And that really worked for me. Well, it took years of false dawns, but now I would never go back to that horror.

All you can think about is food and vomiting. Every waking second. No enjoyment in being thin, just terror of not maintaining it. There is literally no upside to this disease!

Big hugs to anyone who is trapped in that Hell.

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Fuzzybear
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Default Dec 29, 2019 at 12:29 PM
  #5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purple,Violet,Blue View Post
Oh, I see you changed your mind, Fuzzy. I can certainly delete my post if you want!

Thanks anyway, for always opening things up for me when I don't know where to start
No need to delete your post dear purple

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Default Dec 29, 2019 at 12:39 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
No need to delete your post dear purple
OK, Fuzzy. Well, let me know if you change your mind
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