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kiwi215
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Default Jul 06, 2018 at 06:35 PM
  #1
Hello all. Let me preface this by saying that I do not have ASPD (but I do have BPD... although that's probably irrelevant). As a student of psychology, I am genuinely interested in what it's really like to live with ASPD, given that this diagnosis is very stigmatized. So I have some questions for anyone who would like to help me understand the experience of living with ASPD. I'm familiar with the symptoms and diagnostic criteria, but I want to know more about the subjective experiences of living with those symptoms. Here are my questions:

1. What is the most difficult part of having ASPD?

2. Which emotions do you feel the most/the strongest? Which ones do you wish you could feel more or less of?

3. Are you able to build close, meaningful, loving, and fulfilling relationships with people? If not, do you wish that you could?

4. Have you ever received treatment for ASPD? If so, what kind of treatment, and did it help?

5. If you haven't received treatment, do you want to?

6. What is a common misconception about ASPD that you wish people knew the truth about?

7. What brings you happiness?

8. What do you think contributed the most to your having ASPD? Have you lived through a lot of abuse and/or neglect? Do you think you were born with a certain biology that makes it difficult to feel things such as remorse, guilt, shame, and empathy?

9. Regarding remorse, guilt, shame, and empathy, do you feel these things much, if at all? Do you ever wish you could experience them more or less? Do you ever try to feel more of these (perhaps due to pressures from society) but struggle to?

10. If/when you feel the urge to harm people, is that usually out of anger? Or another emotion? Or something else completely?

11. Is it hard for you to maintain healthy relationships with others?

12. If anyone has ever called you a bad person, psychopath, sociopath, or something similar, how did that make you feel?

13. How would you define morality?

14. What do the terms "good/bad" and "right/wrong" mean to you?

15. What does a typical day in your life look like?

Answers to any or all of these questions would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.
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Atypical_Disaster
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Default Aug 16, 2018 at 03:58 PM
  #2
I know this is crazy late of a response but I wanted to reply as these are good questions.


1. What is the most difficult part of having ASPD?

Never being taken seriously and constantly being blamed for everything that goes wrong even when I had nothing to do with it.


2. Which emotions do you feel the most/the strongest? Which ones do you wish you could feel more or less of?

Anger, easily. It's tiresome at times.


3. Are you able to build close, meaningful, loving, and fulfilling relationships with people? If not, do you wish that you could?

I can build fulfilling relationships with people but it's a different kind of fulfillment.


4. Have you ever received treatment for ASPD? If so, what kind of treatment, and did it help?

Yes, and all of it was an abject failure.


5. If you haven't received treatment, do you want to?

Never again. It was a total crock of ****.


6. What is a common misconception about ASPD that you wish people knew the truth about?

I'm not constantly hunting for prey so to speak, I have a life.


7. What brings you happiness?

Nothing, I cannot feel happiness, nor do I want to.


8. What do you think contributed the most to your having ASPD? Have you lived through a lot of abuse and/or neglect? Do you think you were born with a certain biology that makes it difficult to feel things such as remorse, guilt, shame, and empathy?

Genetics, the dark triad runs heavily on both sides of my family. I've endured trauma in my life but I don't know how that affected me besides contributing to the constant rage I have.


9. Regarding remorse, guilt, shame, and empathy, do you feel these things much, if at all? Do you ever wish you could experience them more or less? Do you ever try to feel more of these (perhaps due to pressures from society) but struggle to?

I don't feel any of these things. But I do have a lot of cognitive empathy and ironically I've helped quite a few people with it. Why help people? It's something to do.

I don't try to feel things that I'm not capable of feeling, that would be a waste of time.

Society has no hold on me. I do what I please within reason.


10. If/when you feel the urge to harm people, is that usually out of anger? Or another emotion? Or something else completely?

For me the trigger is usually anger. Otherwise it's because I felt like it, because why not?


11. Is it hard for you to maintain healthy relationships with others?

Yes, definitely. I have very few people in my life because only a few can take the heat. I've talked to other antisocials before but I've only actually liked one of them and that was a long time ago.


12. If anyone has ever called you a bad person, psychopath, sociopath, or something similar, how did that make you feel?

I've been called a psychopath, a sociopath, a narcissist, evil, the works. It made me feel a lot of pride and also sarcastic, like, yes I'm evil. Thanks for noticing, I also heard that the sky is blue.


13. How would you define morality?

I have no set personal definition though I do have my own odd code of ethics. Sometimes.



14. What do the terms "good/bad" and "right/wrong" mean to you?

I find these terms fascinating because I am interested in what people think about good and evil. It's one of my favorite things to talk about. I consider myself evil, though my reasons for that are different than what most would say.



15. What does a typical day in your life look like?

A lot like anyone else's. Though to my misfortune I'm very physically sick so I'm stuck in bed more often than I'd like to be, I've been this way for years. I have chronic health problems from physical damage I sustained in trauma settings. A day is just a day for me. I don't know what would be a typical one, to me I'm just living my life like anyone else would.
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