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#1
I posted this in a discord server and wanted to save it somewhere for future reference. Edited slightly for clarity and a typo.
I think I'm capable of empathizing with other psychopaths I'll start with that And if I'm being honest, I still don't think the "empathy" I'm experiencing is on the same level as what a normal person would experience And certainly there's a matter of spectrums and where exactly I fall on it Nevertheless, I have, on rare occasion, given to care about particular people who've traipsed into my life Those people are, almost always, psychopaths themselves or at least abnormally high in psychopathic traits And I don't simply mean, "this person thinks the same way I do so they could be more useful to me / are more interesting to me." Like, I still think about them from time to time and hope they're doing well, even though it doesn't benefit me That's like, empathy ****, right? I think one of the major barriers I have to empathizing with normal folk is that I just don't ****ing understand them I do on a conceptual level, sure, and I can predict their behavior simply through observation. But I don't really get them And a part of that is due to the fact that I experience emotions quite a bit differently than normal But psychopaths I get, and we perceive and experience emotions the same way So maybe I'd be able to "connect" with them on some level, at least more so than I could with a normal person. |
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Atypical_Disaster, here today
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
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#2
I was thinking about this very thing not too long ago.
I wonder if it’s not that psychopaths lack empathy entirely, but it’s more of a matter of there are far fewer people like themselves to empathize with. If you can’t understand something that someone is going through then it’s far more difficult to give a ****. That’s just the way it is, whether “normal” people want to admit it or not. |
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Grand Magnate
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#3
I don't have ASPD and I don't consciously use or exploit people but there is a part of me that was apparently dissociated by trauma, or something, and I do not easily or naturally empathize with some things with other other people that the "neurotypicals" apparently think/feel is obvious. But, similarly, there are things about me that no therapist was apparently ever able to get or to empathize with, and that was supposedly their job. Go figure.
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Atypical_Disaster
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#4
Quote:
Also, those who are abnormal in other aspects are still capable of empathizing with other people. Usually. It isn't like people with anxiety disorders can only care about other highly anxious people. I seem to be refuting my own hypothesis. But I guess that's the point of discussion, isn't it? It probably doesn't help that I still don't really understand what empathy is. |
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Atypical_Disaster, redsoxrule
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jun 2012
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#5
Quote:
If so, it would be interesting if psychopaths need/want similar others in order to have/develop a sense of self -- even if you don't "care" in the neurotypical way? |
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Atypical_Disaster
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Elder
Member Since Mar 2011
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#6
Quote:
Now that’s interesting. I’ve seen the opposite in “normal” people I’ve been around for long. They don’t “care” as much as they say they do. It’s entirely possible that I’m simply not noticing it, however. It’s pretty hard to notice something that I seem to lack within myself in ways that constitute “giving a damn”. I don’t understand empathy either. I asked someone to explain it to me in depth quite some time ago as she’s well aware of ... me, as it were. It was one of the funniest conversations her and I ever had, my total lack of comprehension was a sight to behold. |
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#7
Quote:
Maybe you're correct that it has more to do with recognition and development of one's identity than with empathy, because it does seem more complex than simply caring. I feel more engaged when I'm around other psychopaths. With normals, it feels more like I'm just reading from a script, unless there's some other goal involved. Quote:
When I'm in text chat, I tend to read everything as emotionally flat, even when people are discussing weighty topics such as sexual assault or murder or whatever. Once, such a conversation moved to voice chat, and I was somewhat surprised to hear how much emotion was in people's voices as they were discussing it. Quote:
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Atypical_Disaster
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Location: USA
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#8
I've felt similarly before. I've also noticed that empathy is never fully gone. It can be nearly impossible to access, but it's still there. I've heard mixed results with lithium, MDMA, and psychedelics causing "empathy breakthroughs" in people that are rather low on the empathy spectrum.
It's also worth noting that malignant narcissists (depending on how the term is used) can form genuine bonds with each other, despite being incapable or nearly incapable of that level of sentiment with other people. In their case, it seems to be more ego-driven. I'm not totally immune to affective empathy, I don't know about you. The few times that I've felt it, or at least felt it intensely enough to be conscious of it, have been in situations that mirrored mine almost identically. Not just others with AsPD or Callous-Unemotional traits, either. I really do think one of the hardest parts of relating to other people is that they're so over-emotional. I have a hard enough time understanding my own stunted emotions. I agree that it's a lot easier to understand patterns in behavior or whatever actions are associated with whatever body language and tone than it is to really grasp and feel what they're feeling when I don't really have a good point of reference. |
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Atypical_Disaster
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Member Since Mar 2020
Location: NEw York
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#9
I have meds that can trigger me to feel empathy, and other psychopaths and sociopaths are the one I feel it the strongest with. Even my spouse doesn't trigger my empathy as strongly as other ASPDers.
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