Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

Been quiet for a while. I looked at the pics my husband took and I look HORRIBLE. At least there's a few more months before the next one in September so I may forget about it by then.

Been wigging out about what to do next. Ugh.

Hugs to those that want them.

Just fed up with even the most ordinary thing like getting groceries becoming a major mental hurdle to overcome - and it doesn't always go well. I'm pretty much beat really.

Have one load of laundry out of four left. Also did a brisk walk for 30 minutes. I would take a nap but my husband will be vacuuming up here soon.

Trying to figure out what to do for next term. Might take two English courses but that's a lot of writing. Maybe one English class and one Sociology or something like that.

Anxiety is down at least.

Anxiety and obsessiveness ahve been rocket high today.

Saw old T for the last time. We talked about my progress over the past 6 ½ years. I've changed a lot. There's still some things left to do, though. While my self-esteem is better it's not at a good level. Hopefully the two Ts can exchange information so new T can have a better idea.

Need to set up a spa day for our anniversary. Ugh.

Thinking I'm going to take only one class this summer. We want to go camping more so I don't want to overload myself.

Anxiety is back down after seeing old T.

I ordered through my pharmacy online for my SSRI refill, hopefully it gets approved or I have to call in.

Been worrying so much today. Not helping my anxiety at all - my brain going off onto what if's again.

For the last several months, I have lived for the most part worry free. Having an income will do that. But, for the last 48hrs my anxiety has sky-rocketed. I spent this morning shaking and in tears at a dentist office and this was only the consultation.

Absolutely awful day. My madness keeps getting the better of me.

Nervous because I have to call CPAP supply place to get more stuff. They didn't get information for Medicare last October. I don't even know if I'm in their system anymore.

Daughter mentioned last night that she and her friends are looking at townhomes to move in, probably in the summer. That was a shock since she was going to stay here until she was done with college.

someone is moving in to my area today and I'm absolutely terrified!.

I'll post an individual thread on it (I think it warrants one), but my anxiety levels are really high because of it

Daughter and her boyfriend will be seeing their mutual friend about the townhouse move after school this afternoon. I mentioned that they need to figure out who's bringing what into the place. My daughter had to take a cut in pay to get the new job, so that may be an issue. There's also a thing about the friend needing a steady job. He makes good money off of video gaming, but it's not steady and the two guys aren't that good about saving. I pretty much know who the boss of that house is going to be.

When that happens, we have to start thinking about fixing up this house and moving ourselves. This townhouse is convenient to a lot of amenities but most of the original owners have moved away and there's only renters now. Additionally, this place holds bad memories for me and I've never been really happy here. I've located a few places but they won't be on the market long as spring and summer move through. I'm looking at renovating an old place but my husband's not thrilled about that one. To get as much space as we need we're going to have to look at older houses. I'm kind of antsy about that.

Anxiety, Panic, and Phobia? Yep - all three.

I broke a tooth months ago and have been to scared to do anything about it. Several days ago I had the first twinges of discomfort. Clearly, I was going to have to do something about it. For those days I was absolutely beside myself. But I could not put the matter off any longer. I pulled myself together and took myself to the nearest dentists' office. I sat there in the waiting room freaking out. This was just an exam and consultation yet I was clinging to the chair in abject fear with tears running down my eyes.

Well two things happened.

An assistant appeared and gently led me into the back where I was able to sit in a more comfortable chair out of sight of others. She gave me a small blanket to hang on to and offered up some soothing words of comfort. The dentist was gentle and well acquainted with dental anxiety.

And,

Luck of luck, this dentist practices sedation dentistry.

What an immediate release of pent up anxiety and negative energy occurred right then and there.Whew.

The appointment for the extraction is pending whether the insurance will cover the sedation or not. But I don't care the cost. If it isn't, I'll bloody well come up with the funds on my own.

I put dinner together in the slow cooker, did a workout, and took a shower. Then my husband, daughter and I ran a few errands and went out for lunch. I need to do a load of laundry once my husband is done with his shower. For now, though, I'm just resting.

I'm doing okay for now.

It seems the last week has been one of anxiety rearing its ugly head - and I was doing so well.

All these continued blizzards and snowfall really have me quite worked up. I've things to do. Despite my vehicle being 4WD I am constantly anxious I will get stuck. Then what will I do? People will get mad at me for my car being in the way. People will laugh at me, etc, etc.For heaven's sake, stop this already!

This morning and part of afternoon has been spent finding out why my daughter's cat wasn't getting any better and having hairballs every morning. Turns out that she has a bladder stone along with the UTI. Vet put her on special food to see if we can get rid of it without surgery. Will see if that works in four weeks. If it does then I'm enlisting help to watch the cats eat their food, since they will steal from the other cat's dish in a heartbeat and my cat already has special food for food allergies. We think my daughter's cat is over-cleaning herself so that would explain the hairballs.

I'm glad to be home after all that. It was worth the cost of the X-ray.

Still trying to calm down after that.

very nervous, dr appointment tomorrow

Had a massive panic attack today. I can’t sleep as a result...

I don’t think I have a future in me...

Daughter's cat seems to be doing okay with new food.

I would be okay if I had sleep. I forgot to refill my Lunesta and now insomnia is fierce. I slept really light and everything woke me up. Couldn't take a nap either. Just tossed and turned in bed. For the second time I left T early because I was so tired. I'm worried about my health at this point.

Am in a women’s refuge and my anxiety is sky high. I’m so scared I’ll be crap mum to my baby because of this.

The refuge is further from my family than I’d like. Hope to move near them soon but even that makes me anxious.