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Old 02-19-2018, 09:26 AM #141
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Default Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone and challenge myself in the past few days. I'm doing quite well so far, but I'm constantly feeling anxious... even after I've achieved something. I just can't keep calm.
My heartbeat is always too fast no matter what I'm doing, and I feel physically and mentally exhausted. Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5
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Old 02-19-2018, 10:39 AM #142
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Confused Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

I have too many thoughts even for this post, arg.

Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between getting a cold and anxiety. That's frustrating since what to do about it is different.

And I kinda wish there was also an ADHD daily check-in. There doesn't seem to be as much support in that section.

PC is kind of nice but also maybe just one more distraction?
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Old 02-19-2018, 01:42 PM #143
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Default Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

Well, I'm done. Kind of.

I told my current T that I'm going to see a new T. He was rather shocked. He really didn't want me and my husband to stop seeing him, but that is not his call. I've been with him for over 6 years. We've done a lot of work, but we've reached a plateau and I need a different approach. Depending how the new T works out I'll have my final session with him a month from now. It wound me up quite a bit and took a while to calm down. Thankfully we did grocery shopping afterwards so I've now relaxed. It was touching and a little sad but he was proud of me.

It was a big step for me. Normally I just stop going and don't answer the phone/email but I felt that I should at least give us some closure. My husband also mentioned that I did most of the work, but that T validated my feelings and my approach to things. I'm grateful for that, in at least I have a little more self-confidence.

So with that I step into the great unknown. I meet a new T tomorrow, but may not work with her. Another called to see when I was available and hopefully set up an appt. next week. I contacted a few more via email, but they may not be in because of the holiday.

It feels like I'm doing the right thing. I sure hope so.
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Old 02-20-2018, 03:27 AM #144
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Default Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

Another awful, awful day today, it's never going to end. There's something fundamentally wrong with me, I can not do people. The worlds nice, the trees, the birds, the sky, the sea, etc., - it's just the people I can't stand! It's a terrible weakness unfortunately, my goodness. I don't know if I'll ever overcome this. I'm psychotic! But I manage as best I can on my own. Some days are better than others so that's good.
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Old 02-20-2018, 09:49 PM #145
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Been terribly nervous about getting our taxes done. Well, I did them yesterday and felt better for a little while. Now I'm nervous again. Oh well.
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Old 02-21-2018, 01:32 PM #146
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Default Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

Yesterday was frustrating. Had to go to the pharmacy three times and I finally have all but one med, which is special ordered. I'm not going to get the prescription-stength melatonin so I'll have to work on something else for sleep. Thankfully I had a script for Lunesta so I can take that.

The T yesterday was what I expected. I only got out one sentence before she told me what was wrong and what I needed to do. I want to explain things but couldn't get a word in edgewise. It was so I was gripping the edge of her desk and wanting to escape.

My husband was really frustrated as well. He couldn't get his aqua therapy done and as he did all the driving he had to deal with a lot of rude people. This T also closed the door in his face even though I said he can join me.

Today was better. I slept a lot. My daughter has a new ID so she can get to the base hospital and pharmacy. Despite my worrying everything was okay. I thought she was getting annoyed at me. Hard to let go sometimes.

Have appt. for next new T on Monday. I also need to study for my final, but I'm just really tired still.
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Old 02-22-2018, 09:02 PM #147
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Default Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

It always amazes me how much my emotions can change within one day, and also how my emotions affect how time seems to move.
I had a terrible morning and I was so anxious and didn't want to get out of bed. It was only like 2 hours but it felt like forever.

But I finally got myself out of the house to swim, then had lunch with a friend (which had been planned). But probably the best part is that my friend ended up coming to my apartment to do work while I did work, so I finally focused for a couple hours this evening, which was a big improvement based on how this week has been. Now I'm feeling calmer and more hopeful and like I can breathe again, and I see T tomorrow, which is good.
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Old 02-23-2018, 05:43 PM #148
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Old 02-24-2018, 05:07 AM #149
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My next two weeks are very busy for me, starting with an almost impossible work project and numerous obligations. It will be a challenge to keep my anxiety under control. I have to keep a mindset of acceptance and partnering with the chaos of the busy time and not letting my mind make me fight it and hide from it.
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Old 02-24-2018, 02:27 PM #150
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Default Re: Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5

Been studying most of the mornings. I'll go through the review modules a few more times before I take the final. Most of them aren't that bad, but the last two are over fifty questions.
I seem to either remember a lot or manage to figure it out, so that's good.

I need patience, though. There are still many things to do. Trying to keep my head from stirring up a storm.
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