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Sunflower123
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Default Dec 28, 2017 at 05:51 PM
  #21
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Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
Anxiety growing with each new day. I am feeling less confident and more and more worthless too.

I have to find a job - soon. I received my last disability check today and will need an income with which to pay rent come February.

I knew full well this was a crappy time of year to be looking for one. As of this date I have applied for 26 jobs - and not heard from a single one. This is all very disconcerting and hits my confidence and self-esteem quite hard. What is wrong with me I am asking myself? It is reaching the point that I worry too that I am suffering paranoia and jumping to every negative conclusion that can be thought of.

This is not a situation I have ever been in before. I've normally had a choice of job offers. I am really freaking out.

I’m sorry you are having a tough time. Good luck and best wishes for finding a job quickly.
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Default Dec 29, 2017 at 03:37 PM
  #22
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Originally Posted by justafriend306 View Post
Anxiety growing with each new day. I am feeling less confident and more and more worthless too.

I have to find a job - soon. I received my last disability check today and will need an income with which to pay rent come February.

I knew full well this was a crappy time of year to be looking for one. As of this date I have applied for 26 jobs - and not heard from a single one. This is all very disconcerting and hits my confidence and self-esteem quite hard. What is wrong with me I am asking myself? It is reaching the point that I worry too that I am suffering paranoia and jumping to every negative conclusion that can be thought of.

This is not a situation I have ever been in before. I've normally had a choice of job offers. I am really freaking out.
I am so sorry you are going through such a tough time. I was in this boat for a few months. I had rent pending and needed a paycheck asap so I could pay it on time.

One thing I learned through my job search was that the more jobs you apply for the better your chances are. The job market is very hard nowadays. There was a week where I set a limit to myself - minimum 50 applications a day. It took me a few hours each day but really helped me confidence - because the more I did the more likely I would be to get a response.
After that week, while I was submitting my 50 for the next day, I got a hit from the job that is now my current place.

Just relax. Things will be okay.
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Default Dec 30, 2017 at 04:57 PM
  #23
Quiet day today. Nervous but feeling a little more hopeful.
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Default Dec 30, 2017 at 09:35 PM
  #24
I only have 4h left to sleep but I can't stop stressing about tomorrow night. I wish I could just cancel all my plans and run away and hide from the world until like the 2nd week of January.
This time of the year is extremely difficult and it's triggering so many memories that I'm not being able to cope with

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Default Dec 31, 2017 at 04:33 PM
  #25
Was starting to feel better then a bunch of little annoyances happened. Glasses broke, hard drive crashed (lucky it was part of a RAID so I didn't lose anything), spilled coffee all over my sweater...the list goes on. Plus my sleep was disrupted and had strange dreams.

Despite all this I'm okay. I'm grateful we had money to replace the drive, and my husband used a nose piece from an old pair of glasses.

Happy New Year to those that celebrate it.
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Default Dec 31, 2017 at 10:07 PM
  #26
Happy New Year. Sending hugs and best wishes to everyone on the thread for a peaceful, healing 2018.
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Default Jan 01, 2018 at 07:23 AM
  #27
I’m up past 4 a.m. I just don’t want to go to bed, because I don’t want to face the morning. My typical morning anxiety seems like it might be worse, being the last day off before I go back to work and having to face the new year as well. January is the worst month, with quarter-end work plus year-end work.

I did fairly well the past few days while out of the house on my stay-cation. I had my phone with me, so I guess I had my main distraction that I used intermittently. I had trouble with the long drives, so I just resorted to daydreaming to distract myself from anxious thoughts. I nearly missed an exit. I wish I could just be comfortable enough to be present.

Frankly, I could have had a real vacation, but I just didn’t feel up to it. Sadly, I’m glad we didn’t go anywhere because I just want to be home.
 
 
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Default Jan 01, 2018 at 07:52 AM
  #28
And Happy New Year to everyone

Anxiety Daily Check-In point #5
 
 
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Default Jan 02, 2018 at 06:22 AM
  #29
I had a massive panic attack today

still feeling the aftermath
 
 
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Default Jan 02, 2018 at 06:15 PM
  #30
Had a panic attack after finding out the cause of my recent severe anxiety. Will this never end?
 
 
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Default Jan 02, 2018 at 06:32 PM
  #31
Happy New Year everyone.

Anxious today but not as much as usual. Just some mild stomach pain. I'm stressed though, just have a lot on my mind lately.
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Default Jan 02, 2018 at 10:25 PM
  #32
I went back to work today after having last week off. I am surprised that my anxiety level wasn't severe today, although I have a headache tonight.
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Default Jan 03, 2018 at 01:16 AM
  #33
Anxious day today and the first day back to work. Coming on the forum relieved it, but that isn’t the way to get work done. It’s going to be a busy month with all the year-end reporting.

I found a roof vent on the ground, but I don’t know if it is mine or my neighbor’s since it landed between our houses. I’m worried that I might have raccoons in the attic. I have a roof inspector coming over tomorrow.
 
 
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Default Jan 03, 2018 at 04:56 PM
  #34
It feels good to be back and enjoy time off.
 
 
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 01:12 PM
  #35
My therapist threw me under the bus after five consultations. Called four law enforcement officers (with guns drawn) and abandoned me. I never touched her in anyway but a genteel handshake. I kept reassuring her I would never harm you which is true ... I would feel less than a man to hit a woman which I have never did in my life.

If I was suicidal I would have killed myself with four officers yelling ... we know you are in there ... do you want us to knock down your door. We are coming in. I didn't open it ... felt like saying ... get a warrant. They didn't come in.

After five therapy sessions my treatment was look at these meditation videos on the internet and law enforcement which really helped my anxiety disorder which I suffer from ... don't you think!
 
 
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Default Jan 04, 2018 at 09:06 PM
  #36
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My therapist threw me under the bus after five consultations. Called four law enforcement officers (with guns drawn) and abandoned me. I never touched her in anyway but a genteel handshake. I kept reassuring her I would never harm you which is true ... I would feel less than a man to hit a woman which I have never did in my life.

If I was suicidal I would have killed myself with four officers yelling ... we know you are in there ... do you want us to knock down your door. We are coming in. I didn't open it ... felt like saying ... get a warrant. They didn't come in.

After five therapy sessions my treatment was look at these meditation videos on the internet and law enforcement which really helped my anxiety disorder which I suffer from ... don't you think!
Sounds like it was a tough time for you. Are you on medication, can you go see someone else?
 
 
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Default Jan 05, 2018 at 06:14 AM
  #37
Moderation- I agree with Raven, I'd see someone else. Not all professionals are like that.
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Default Jan 05, 2018 at 10:27 AM
  #38
I get why I was anxious yesterday - dentist appt with hygienist so close to me, hanging over my head, followed by eating in a restaurant. But today I cannot stop shaking at work, and there is literally no one else around in my office to make me feel anxious...
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Default Jan 05, 2018 at 02:23 PM
  #39
yes I will find another therapist this one was ... too young (2 yrs in practice) ... too impulsive ... and too affected by what her patients say or write. Instead of analyzing what I was saying and why? She couldn't handle me. I think I made her insane. I told her you know ... if you are uncomfortable with patients ... I know a therapist you can see.

Granted my conversations were not politically correct and polite but never rude ... I thought I should open up to her so she should know the bad stuff about me to plan a treatment plan to make me a better person.

Sincerely,
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Default Jan 05, 2018 at 04:15 PM
  #40
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yes I will find another therapist this one was ... too young (2 yrs in practice) ... too impulsive ... and too affected by what her patients say or write. Instead of analyzing what I was saying and why? She couldn't handle me. I think I made her insane. I told her you know ... if you are uncomfortable with patients ... I know a therapist you can see.

Granted my conversations were not politically correct and polite but never rude ... I thought I should open up to her so she should know the bad stuff about me to plan a treatment plan to make me a better person.

Sincerely,
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