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Default Dec 29, 2018 at 06:46 AM
  #1
so their's this woman who I know (and see regguarly) who causes me a lot of anxiety

she causes me anxiety because she doesn't know my past (even though I tell her things, she puts her own spin on things to make them soundn ot as bad as they are), and she treats me like I'm superwoman (for example when I have pain in my legs, she expects me to work harder and just " get over it"), then she also uses me as a sort of slave if you want to call it like that- but she'll turn it around to try to make me feel guilty for not doing it "if you don't do this, I'm not giving you what you want and you'll be in my bad books"

she's been away but is back on monday and I'm litirally sick to my stomach that she's coming back

I know I should probably stand up to myself (like tell her how she makes me feel), but I don't think I can do that because another thing she does is expects me to listen to her stories, but won't listen to me or what I have to say

this woman helps me out sometimes though and it would be wrong of me to say how I really feel (I don't want to offend her, but I do feel she needs to know)
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Default Dec 29, 2018 at 06:47 AM
  #2
for those interested in how I know her, she sometimes comes to help with jobs around the house (laundry and stuff)
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Default Dec 29, 2018 at 09:03 AM
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Do you feel that she is minimizing your feelings and pushing you to do
more than you want or feel capable of? Is this something that was done to you by someone else in your life? A significant person? My guess is she has no idea she’s doing this and might think she’s being helpful. Do you feel comfortable speaking up about this to her?
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Default Jan 02, 2019 at 06:50 AM
  #4
"You'll be in her bad books?" You don't want to offend her but she is hurting you.

If this person cares about you then she would care how she is making you feel. If she is important friend or part of your family then it would be productive to have some kind of discussion with her so that you can have a healthy relationship.

If this person is there as home help then maybe it's time to see about getting another person who doesn't make you feel anxious. They are out there.
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Default Jan 02, 2019 at 02:14 PM
  #5
I don't get it. " she also uses me as a sort of slave..." but "she sometimes comes to help with jobs around the house..."

What kind of things do you do for her that make you feel like a slave?

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Default Jan 05, 2019 at 12:10 PM
  #6
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Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Do you feel that she is minimizing your feelings and pushing you to do
more than you want or feel capable of? Is this something that was done to you by someone else in your life? A significant person? My guess is she has no idea she’s doing this and might think she’s being helpful. Do you feel comfortable speaking up about this to her?


usually I'm as blunt as they come (if somethings wrong, I'll say it)

not to this woman though. I feel it might end violent (for her, not me.)

but I guess I can try. I mean if I don't like her she does need to know.
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Default Jan 05, 2019 at 12:13 PM
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Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
"You'll be in her bad books?" You don't want to offend her but she is hurting you.

If this person cares about you then she would care how she is making you feel. If she is important friend or part of your family then it would be productive to have some kind of discussion with her so that you can have a healthy relationship.

If this person is there as home help then maybe it's time to see about getting another person who doesn't make you feel anxious. They are out there.


ffirst step I guess is to get her out of my life.

the hardest part
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Default Jan 05, 2019 at 12:16 PM
  #8
I am also confused as to how someone who helps you in the house can treat you like a slave. You make it seem like she's a housekeeper or something, in which case you are the one paying her. If you're not paying her, you can just tell her to stop coming over.
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