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xmascarol
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Default Aug 09, 2019 at 05:04 PM
  #1
I have tried but when I do stick up for myself I end up yelling and swearing at someone not all the time and mostly at people I dont know ,like customers service and that.Even when my family or friend gets nasty with me I usually hold back because I am afraid of hurting there feelings.I dont want to hurt anyone and yet it is okay to hurt me,One time my land lady got nasty with me and I told her off she told me I needed to respect her I told she respects me I will respect her,hey I dont need anyone being nasty for fresh with me,So how do you handle people ? Having the anxieties to sometimes when I do get angry I actually am shaking as well Do u have any ideas how to deal with people ?I am at a loss
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Default Aug 09, 2019 at 05:21 PM
  #2
Maybe try rephrasing what you are thinking into a more acceptable reply. I find rare occasion to feel the need to yell, but hey, maybe a short shout will get you the attention you need to say what you need to say.
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Default Aug 09, 2019 at 05:53 PM
  #3
I’m rooting for you. “Fight” with intelligence, planning, and facts rather than anger and loud volumes. This will involve sticking up for yourself via the frontal lobe of your brain rather than your amygdala. It’s easy to discount a ranting person, but not so much a calm and logical one.

There’s also an interpersonal effectiveness skill called DEARMAN worth trying.

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Default Aug 10, 2019 at 09:00 AM
  #4
I wonder if since you have such a hard time with boundaries and sticking up for yourself with interpersonal relationships and family if the anger and cursing comes out on people you do not have an emotional connection with? Like its easier to yell at the cashier in Walmart because you may not see her again or you can choose not to deal with her but the emotional toll of yelling at loved ones is too high?

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Default Aug 10, 2019 at 09:58 PM
  #5
That is so true,If I have to email them or get in contact with them they cannot see who I am so it makes it easier for me to yell,u know one time I was talking to someone,she started to snicker and me,i told her do not laugh at me she said she wasnt laughing I got mad at her and told her to stop it,i could hear her laugh just because of the way I talk ,was so tempted to ask her what is so funny..I hardly talk in the phone because when I do I lose it.I get all shaky too, Life isnt easy is it?When my husband was around he would do all of the talking.Now he has gone for 15 years and I still cannot get use to calling people.It is almost as if they know what I am doing when they call.I am not a mean person but when things dont go right I expect some answers.for instance I am having a talk with this survey site my reward is for a ten dollar gift card I got over enough points to get it but the site doesnt have a redeem button,as if this is my fault.They keep sending me useless mail.If I cannot get my gift card I will dump them I work hard for those surveys.
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Default Aug 10, 2019 at 09:58 PM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by HowDoYouFeelMeow? View Post
I’m rooting for you. “Fight” with intelligence, planning, and facts rather than anger and loud volumes. This will involve sticking up for yourself via the frontal lobe of your brain rather than your amygdala. It’s easy to discount a ranting person, but not so much a calm and logical one.

There’s also an interpersonal effectiveness skill called DEARMAN worth trying.
Thank you
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