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Old 12-02-2018, 06:29 PM #1
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I live with my boyfriend, we have a good, stable relationship, and we've been together for several years.
He's in the military, and he has a TDY assignment a few hours away. So he has to leave during the week and be there. He's been coming back most weekends, so I'll see him for 1 or 2 days a week, but sometimes can't, so I'll go about 2 weeks without seeing him. He's been on this assignment for about 2 months now, and it ends just before Christmas.
I have a really, really difficult time being home alone. I've never lived completely alone, and I struggle with paranoia. The silence gets to me. I'm convinced that I'm being watched. I obsessively check all of the locks and windows. I can't think about anything else, and it's like I have tunnel vision. I can't focus. I need to do schoolwork, study, exercise, cook, clean, all the normal things, but I can't. I usually lock down the house and then go to bed several hours early, because I'm so stressed I'm exhausted. I don't know how to snap out of it. It goes way beyond needing to just distract myself. It feels like the tunnel-vision, hyper-focused (on the danger, anyway), panicky, fight-or-flight reaction you get in life-or-death situations, and I can't turn it off. What can I do? Please help. He leaves in half an hour and I feel like I'm about to burst into tears. I'm completely panicked about it and all I can think about is being alone, and being alone feels unsafe.
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Old 12-02-2018, 06:31 PM #2
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Rayne Selene Can't stop crying.
 
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Default Re: Boyfriend leaving, can't function

I seriously feel the urge to scream, call the police, run to the neighbors, get in my car and drive away and stay in a hotel. That's how panicked I am. It's like my brain thinks it's in real danger and the only message playing through my body is GET OUT NOW GET OUT NOW
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Old 12-05-2018, 01:35 PM #3
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Default Re: Boyfriend leaving, can't function

Oh! Iím sorry that you havenít received any reply in time.
My problem is pretty the opposite to yours since being with people is what scares the hell out of me so I canít be of any help but I see that the best is to talk to a professional since your fear is clearly interfering in your daily life and daily routines.
Letís see if someone can tell you something else.
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Old 12-24-2018, 01:39 AM #4
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Default Re: Boyfriend leaving, can't function

Maybe you could fill some of the time he's gone with group activities? I have found Meetup to be a very good source of finding things to do based on my interests. Depending on where you live, there are usually 100s of things going on daily in just about any interest you can imagine.
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Old 12-24-2018, 02:56 AM #5
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Default Re: Boyfriend leaving, can't function

It can be hard living alone...all manner of thoughts go through our heads in the darker hours. Maybe you could discuss getting a small dog for companionship, and also to alert you. Little dogs are hardly any trouble, and are so very loyal. Also joining a dog walking club will put you in touch with a great group of local people.

Having a furry little friend with you may make all the difference.
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Old 12-24-2018, 03:14 AM #6
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Default Re: Boyfriend leaving, can't function

How are you doing, Rayne Selene? It's almost Christmas now, so your boyfriend should be back, right? I'm so sorry I didn't see this thread sooner Sending many hugs to you
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