I've flaked out on three social engagements recently. All with different people who are actually dear friends.

I suffer with PMDD - Pre-menstrual Dysphoric Disorder (which I think should also be listed here as an illness as it can massively contribute to psychiatric issues) and I'm just getting over my week from hell in terms of illness. Ordinarily I would be careful not to make any plans during that week as I know I wouldn't be at my best, but I'm also trying to get through a break up and really need my friends right now.

Fortunately for me, my friends are awesome and completely 'get it'. One had a slight irk at me earlier in the week, but when I was in a better frame of mind, and to be fair to him he would've been driving up 100 miles from the south.

The guilt and irritability tends to come from myself when I cancel. I'm lucky to have the friends that I do who understand, because it's me that generally doesn't.

When I think about the anxiety panics in more detail, I realise it's at it's worse in the couple of hours running up to the time specified for meeting my friends. So for example, in the morning I'd wake up and be really excited. Looking forward to catching up, having a giggle and getting to be myself.

It's literally within an hour or two before I need to head out.

It doesn't happen *all the time*, but enough lately to make me feel pretty unhappy with myself. I don't understand it. Logically I know once I'm there, I'm golden and really enjoy myself. But the initial panic builds up far too much that I bottle out and cancel.

I'm sick of being the flaky girl. I have BPD which may be worth mentioning here too, I don't know.

I was wondering if anyone else had the same issue and how they deal with it? Any pep talks or mindfulness exercises that could be helpful? I intend to start some art therapy groups and enrolling for college next year, so I really need to get a grip on this because I feel it could ruin my life if it snowballs anymore

[Skeezyks]

I don't know as I would have any particular suggestions for you with regard to this. I myself am a pretty reclusive person at this point in my life. So I don't really go out much under any circumstances. However here are links to 10 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that may be of some help. Included are articles on living with BPD as well as on calming anxiety & panic attacks plus 2 on the subject of using art to deal with anxiety & practice self care. (I recall having replied to one or two of your previous posts. Hopefully I'm not giving you links to articles I've given you previously. If so... please forgive me.)

Living with Borderline Personality Disorder

6 Gifts of Borderline Personality Disorder

9 Ways to Reduce Anxiety Right Here, Right Now

15 Small Steps You Can Take Today to Improve Anxiety Symptoms

Top 10 Lesser-Known Self-Help Strategies for Anxiety

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/mille...-just-breathe/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-to...-attack/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-simp...aging-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/3-art-...-with-anxiety/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-ways...dium=popular17

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're struggling, NyaFire Please don't be too hard on yourself. Anxiety is often out of our control, so it's not really your fault for feeling like this. I think you just need to find some tools to better cope with your anxiety. Do you see a therapist? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm so sorry you're struggling, NyaFire Please don't be too hard on yourself. Anxiety is often out of our control, so it's not really your fault for feeling like this. I think you just need to find some tools to better cope with your anxiety. Do you see a therapist? I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

I'm on that elusive waiting list for therapy It's not just anxiety I struggle with, though that is what I'm struggling with more at the moment. I feel stuck with all of my symptoms right now because I *know* I need therapy I intend to chase my doctor up this week and see where the referral is at.