[cklasik]

A friend of mine has a strange habit of feeding back to me what I told her about myself. I tell her my tooth broke - and after a week or so she tells me she used to keep sweets in her mouth which led to getting her tooth decay - and points to the same place in her mouth. I say I find it hard to learn by heart - and she later tells me about a boy who had learning problems.

I know it's an advised way to make friends to speak with them about what concerns them; otherwise, psychotherapists use this technique, too.
The problem is that I can hardly say I am getting to know her.
It is as if she remained completely hidden, completely in control while provoking my 'confessions'. Besides, when she is in a bad mood, her stories get a nasty flavour.

Overall, I feel victimised by this approach of hers. When I try to not respond to her pushing my buttons, her rhetoric becomes angered.
I avoid her when I can but when it is not possible, it feels like I am being preyed on.

What can I do? Is there a way for me to learn her approach? I think I grasp the idea but I lack her wit and her predatory inclinations.

[MickeyCheeky]

If you don't like her behavior, I think it's best to just be honest and tell her the truth, cklasik. Just tell her how you feel about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully she'll understand. If she doesn't, at least you'll know what kind of person she is and you can start cutting off contacts with her. Sending many hugs

[cklasik]

Thank you MickeyCheeky.
I might be in the wrong but it appears to me that in the face of manipulative behaviours open communication has ceased to work a decade or two ago - or it has never worked.
What it does is it further exposes your vulnerabilities
I agree this is the optimal approach but not when confronted with manipulation.
Just like when you are threatened with a baseball bat you will not approach the thug to clarify anything.