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Old 12-22-2018, 09:57 PM #1
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Default Tips for anxiety

I'm having a really hard time with anxiety, in particularly social anxiety but am treated for GAD with panic attacks.

I just cant get a hold of it. I meditate, exercise, eat right, I'm on meds, I journal.

I can't take it anymore!!! I have 0 friends. I'm a mum of 3 and I dont have one adult friend or any family. Im just so lonely it physically hurts... i have my children, but they are young and usually act like they hate me so it doesnt always help with the persitant loneliness. Lol

My therapist said I'm afraid of friendships due to past abuse, but that's it's okay and I dont have to change..

But I want to change. I'm depressed living this way and i want to have a friend so badly.

Is anybody else in the same boat? It physically hurts deep in my chest when I want to do something or go somewhere and I just don't have company.

I'm just venting and sad
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Old 12-23-2018, 03:26 AM #2
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Default Re: Tips for anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zedsdead View Post
I'm having a really hard time with anxiety, in particularly social anxiety but am treated for GAD with panic attacks.
Anxiety is a huge issue for me. It may be why I have spent so much time on PC wondering if I could have everything on here--bipolar, personality disorders, PTSD, etc. but maybe I simply became a mental health hypochondriac ever since I made an attempt on my life in 2015. I ruminate a lot too! Some of the things in this article (including the links) may apply: The Brain Mechanics of Rumination and Repetitive Thinking | Psychology Today to us (but umm, my anxiety makes me think everything applies and perhaps I simply have anxiety plus depression that comes and goes?)

One thing that helped me a bit when my children where young (once the youngest was about 2 and 1/2 years) was that I belonged to the YMCA and would go to some of the fitness classes where I enjoyed socializing (though none of it was very deep--just a bit of chit chat with other moms in the same boat). Later on, I switched to a yoga studio I really enjoyed. Once my children were older--I was able to work in a variety of jobs--some of the jobs I have done have also filled a social need for me to some extent. In other jobs, I didn't enjoy the interactions as much. I know you have to work--do you like your job? Sometimes just having a job you enjoy can really help because when your children are young, it is hard to have time to do things that lead to friendships and enable you to maintain them.

Though the times we log onto PC are quite different (I am on the East coast and I have the impression you may be near the West coast) -- glad to chat with you by message at anytime. I used to read all your posts as Mysterious/Hopingtrying (I keep deleting my account ).

From what you have said, you are dealing with all of your issues the best that you can, I think all that you can do is keep working on it. Hugs and friendship from me.
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Old 12-23-2018, 05:03 AM #3
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Default Re: Tips for anxiety

I'm also here to chat.

I deal with anxiety (and have few friends too), also deal with other diagnoses
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Old 12-23-2018, 07:15 AM #4
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Default Tips for anxiety

I have long dealt with social anxiety and difficulty making friends. It took years of working through the social anxiety... lots of practice in social situations by joining groups where I had to socialize. It felt like torture sometimes but it got better with time. I joined toastmasters and also many fun, social groups. Making friends is hard and I have posted about that several times here on PC. I think recently I just got to the point that I was tired of worrying about it. Iíve had bad experiences with friendships in the past and I now can spot a potentially bad friendship a mile away. Instead of being upset by the past, I recently have learned to just use the knowledge to avoid bad future friendships. Iíve also come to expect that most friendships will be shallow. If I want to go for a walk or to the movies or for lunch... I think itís just fine if thatís with someone who just likes doing the same things I do and we donít have to be soul mates. I guess what it comes down to is a lot of acceptance... acceptance of myself as far as the social anxiety goes and acceptance of others as far as the limitations of most friendships. Itís not easy. Iíve struggled with this a lot so I understand your loneliness. It can and does get better... I needed lots of new experiences and I gained some new perspectives as well. PC has been a good place for me to talk through a lot of this stuff. Tips for anxiety
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Old 12-23-2018, 09:11 AM #5
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Default Re: Tips for anxiety

I understand how you feel, Zedsdead. It takes a lot of time and practice to improve your social anxiety. It's not easy, but I do believe it's possible! Please don't give up. Do you have any hobbies? What do you like to do? Perhaps you can start by joining some clubs or activities based on what you like to do. That way you'll be able to meet people with interests similar to yours. I think it's weird that your therapist said that you don't have to change. Have you told him/her that you do want to change and get over this? Maybe that could help. If it can help a bit... I'm here for you. I'll listen to what you have to say. I care about you. Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you
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Old 12-23-2018, 12:11 PM #6
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Default Re: Tips for anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nowinners View Post
Anxiety is a huge issue for me. It may be why I have spent so much time on PC wondering if I could have everything on here--bipolar, personality disorders, PTSD, etc. but maybe I simply became a mental health hypochondriac ever since I made an attempt on my life in 2015. I ruminate a lot too! Some of the things in this article (including the links) may apply: The Brain Mechanics of Rumination and Repetitive Thinking | Psychology Today to us (but umm, my anxiety makes me think everything applies and perhaps I simply have anxiety plus depression that comes and goes?)



One thing that helped me a bit when my children where young (once the youngest was about 2 and 1/2 years) was that I belonged to the YMCA and would go to some of the fitness classes where I enjoyed socializing (though none of it was very deep--just a bit of chit chat with other moms in the same boat). Later on, I switched to a yoga studio I really enjoyed. Once my children were older--I was able to work in a variety of jobs--some of the jobs I have done have also filled a social need for me to some extent. In other jobs, I didn't enjoy the interactions as much. I know you have to work--do you like your job? Sometimes just having a job you enjoy can really help because when your children are young, it is hard to have time to do things that lead to friendships and enable you to maintain them.



Though the times we log onto PC are quite different (I am on the East coast and I have the impression you may be near the West coast) -- glad to chat with you by message at anytime. I used to read all your posts as Mysterious/Hopingtrying (I keep deleting my account ).



From what you have said, you are dealing with all of your issues the best that you can, I think all that you can do is keep working on it. Hugs and friendship from me.
Hopingtrying!!! hello!! Lovely to see you around! I haven't been on here a while, it seems my symptoms have been on the rise again so hoping the increase in meds will help with some of it.
I'm not working at the minute, my son with special needs got very sick this past summer and I ended up missing 3 days.. they dropped my hours from 40 hours a week to 8 !! 3 months ago I left, got some income support and am job searching right now. (Added stress)

With my son having a severe delay and the extra struggle of my other 2 children, the youngest being 2.. it's so difficult to get out and do anything!! I attend 2 mum groups a week, but I think other mums tend to avoid us with my sons behaviour .. lol agh.

I used to have lots of friends and enjoy being around them, now the thought of having a lasting friendship makes me panic and avoid it when I do get the chance.

I do attend a womans group weekly that is for those who passed through the womens shelter, that is probably the closest thing I have to friends and open conversation because we all have our issues.

I guess I feel worse that it seems everybody around me has a social life and I worry that there is something wrong with me!
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Old 12-24-2018, 01:02 AM #7
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Default Re: Tips for anxiety

I had some ideas that will help you to elevate depression and decrease the level of tension:
Identify the root cause
Take a deep breathe
Take control of your mind
Cognitive behavioral therapy
Control your mind
Change lifestyle
Do some exercise or yoga in routine
Walk some time/connect with environment etc.

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Old 12-24-2018, 05:37 AM #8
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Default Re: Tips for anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zedsdead View Post
Hopingtrying!!! hello!! Lovely to see you around!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Zedsdead View Post
I'm not working at the minute, my son with special needs got very sick this past summer and I ended up missing 3 days.. they dropped my hours from 40 hours a week to 8 !! 3 months ago I left, got some income support and am job searching right now. (Added stress)

With my son having a severe delay and the extra struggle of my other 2 children, the youngest being 2.. it's so difficult to get out and do anything!! .

I guess I feel worse that it seems everybody around me has a social life and I worry that there is something wrong with me!
I really think that your not having a social life is because you are a single mom without extended family you can count on. Young children leave little time to socialize, especially when you put them first and you do. Be patient, they won't be so young for long. That you want to change and do so many things to overcome your issues (medication, meditation, exercise, eating well, etc.) means you will keep making progress. I hope your therapist meant--you don't have to make changes quickly verses you don't have to change. Baby steps and hope to see you continue to post on here...
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