anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 12-29-2018, 05:46 AM #1
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

so their's this woman who I know (and see regguarly) who causes me a lot of anxiety

she causes me anxiety because she doesn't know my past (even though I tell her things, she puts her own spin on things to make them soundn ot as bad as they are), and she treats me like I'm superwoman (for example when I have pain in my legs, she expects me to work harder and just " get over it"), then she also uses me as a sort of slave if you want to call it like that- but she'll turn it around to try to make me feel guilty for not doing it "if you don't do this, I'm not giving you what you want and you'll be in my bad books"

she's been away but is back on monday and I'm litirally sick to my stomach that she's coming back

I know I should probably stand up to myself (like tell her how she makes me feel), but I don't think I can do that because another thing she does is expects me to listen to her stories, but won't listen to me or what I have to say

this woman helps me out sometimes though and it would be wrong of me to say how I really feel (I don't want to offend her, but I do feel she needs to know)
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 12-29-2018, 05:47 AM #2
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

for those interested in how I know her, she sometimes comes to help with jobs around the house (laundry and stuff)
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-29-2018, 08:03 AM #3
Sisabel's Avatar
Sisabel Sisabel is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,384
Sisabel Sisabel is offline
Poohbah
Sisabel's Avatar
Sisabel always trying...
 
Member Since: May 2018
Location: USA
Posts: 1,384 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
363 hugs
given
Default anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

Do you feel that she is minimizing your feelings and pushing you to do
more than you want or feel capable of? Is this something that was done to you by someone else in your life? A significant person? My guess is she has no idea she’s doing this and might think she’s being helpful. Do you feel comfortable speaking up about this to her?
Sisabel is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Old 01-02-2019, 05:50 AM #4
possum220's Avatar
possum220 possum220 is offline
Legendary
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 16,280
possum220 possum220 is offline
Legendary
possum220's Avatar
possum220 has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2009
Location: Uppa Gumtree West
Posts: 16,280 (SuperPoster!)

10 yr Member
4,394 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

"You'll be in her bad books?" You don't want to offend her but she is hurting you.

If this person cares about you then she would care how she is making you feel. If she is important friend or part of your family then it would be productive to have some kind of discussion with her so that you can have a healthy relationship.

If this person is there as home help then maybe it's time to see about getting another person who doesn't make you feel anxious. They are out there.
possum220 is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-02-2019, 01:14 PM #5
AceRimmer's Avatar
AceRimmer AceRimmer is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: US
Posts: 55
AceRimmer AceRimmer is offline
Member
AceRimmer's Avatar
AceRimmer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: US
Posts: 55

3 yr Member
Default Re: anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

I don't get it. " she also uses me as a sort of slave..." but "she sometimes comes to help with jobs around the house..."

What kind of things do you do for her that make you feel like a slave?
__________________
The Universe needs an Ace
AceRimmer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-05-2019, 11:10 AM #6
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sisabel View Post
Do you feel that she is minimizing your feelings and pushing you to do
more than you want or feel capable of? Is this something that was done to you by someone else in your life? A significant person? My guess is she has no idea she’s doing this and might think she’s being helpful. Do you feel comfortable speaking up about this to her?


usually I'm as blunt as they come (if somethings wrong, I'll say it)

not to this woman though. I feel it might end violent (for her, not me.)

but I guess I can try. I mean if I don't like her she does need to know.
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 01-05-2019, 11:13 AM #7
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838
raging vortex raging vortex is offline
Cyclonic!.
Community Liaison
raging vortex has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2012
Location: the asylum
Posts: 26,838 (SuperPoster!)

5 yr Member
2,346 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

Quote:
Originally Posted by possum220 View Post
"You'll be in her bad books?" You don't want to offend her but she is hurting you.

If this person cares about you then she would care how she is making you feel. If she is important friend or part of your family then it would be productive to have some kind of discussion with her so that you can have a healthy relationship.

If this person is there as home help then maybe it's time to see about getting another person who doesn't make you feel anxious. They are out there.


ffirst step I guess is to get her out of my life.

the hardest part
raging vortex is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 01-05-2019, 11:16 AM #8
downandlonely downandlonely is online now
Poohbah
Chat Moderator
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 2,403
downandlonely downandlonely is online now
Poohbah
Chat Moderator
downandlonely has no updates.
 
Member Since: Mar 2018
Location: United States
Posts: 2,403 (SuperPoster!)

1 yr Member
7 hugs
given
Default Re: anxiety over someone who clearly doesn't know me

I am also confused as to how someone who helps you in the house can treat you like a slave. You make it seem like she's a housekeeper or something, in which case you are the one paying her. If you're not paying her, you can just tell her to stop coming over.
downandlonely is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:25 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.