Anxiety Daily Check-In point #6

Had a decent day.

I guess maybe it was partially anxiety because I took my night meds and a couple melatonin an hour ago and I feel better now. Then again I still don’t feel like eating and I’ve only had 870 calories today. So I’m guessing most of what I was feeling today was physical. Although it may have been somewhat anxiety.

I wasn't too anxious today given I didn't really have much to do but now I am for a number of reasons. I need to clean and get my head straight.

Was anxious today but it was manageable.

I feel as if a weight has been dropped on me

Dealing with side effects of Zoloft. On day 4 of my first prescription. Scared how my side effects will be tonight.

I feel kinda loopy from being up for 19.5 hours which is getting my anxiety going. That and the fire crackers and other weird noises outside. It’s past midnight and it sounds like there’s a dude out there doing yard work. No joke.

Was doing pretty great until some stupid **** happened, lol. I need to control myself better and not have "outsized" reactions to things. If people were living in my head they'd understand.

I slept in pretty late this morning. I don’t have much anxiety today. I guess the guy next door had his sprinkler going all last night. So that was the weird yard work noise I was hearing. The guy is kinda obsessed with his lawn.

Pretty anxious for tomorrow

Because of that late night I posted about on the last page I’ve gotten into the habit of taking my Xanax at 7-9 at night. So I don’t feel much anxiety until night now. So I had basically no anxiety today. But right now I’m like kind of meh with my anxiety. But I can’t figure out if I cracked the code on how to handle my anxiety since I’ve had 2 good days in a row taking my Xanax before going to bed, or if I’m just too reliant on the Xanax in the first place. I guess what my doctor doesn’t know.....

I am home from the Psych Hospital. This will be my first night at home and am on 2 new medications in addition to my original 2 meds I have been taking so I am feeling confident I am going to have a good night.

less anxious than I was this morning.

I had an issue with one of the online groups I'm on, but I've seen something since that seems to make things a bit more...... okay

let's hope

I think my T is catching onto my Xanax problem. Next week she wants to talk to me about other ways I can cope and I didn’t even really say anything. I had to fill out paperwork that asked if I was on a Benzo and she read the paper and then she asked me how often I take it and I said every other day when really it’s every day. I guess I just hope I’m not taken off it because it really helps with my anxiety.

If they do decide to take you off--it has to be done gradually.

I was taking everyday for a while (2-3 weeks, 1/2 of .5 mg twice a day) because of a stressful issue then when the issue got a bit better and I stopped taking for a couple of days. One morning I felt antsy (skin crawling, couldn't sit still), irritated and just really crappy like I had a hangover. I thought--could it be that I am having withdrawal? I took 1/2 a pill and all those symptoms went away. I am weening myself again (so that I only take 1/2 pill at bedtime 2-4 days a week when I can't get to sleep because I can't stop worrying). They say it is more effective in the long term when you only use it occassionally so you don't build up tolerance. I find Xanax to be a great medication to have for when stressful things that are out of your control happen. None of my psychiatrists have ever questioned my need for them. The one mental health condition that I truly (and obviously to everyone around me) have is generalized anxiety disorder--all the rest of my diagnosis I am unsure about (maybe because they are temporary?) However, I consider Xanax one tool of many to help me cope with my anxiety. I also try to walk, do yoga, relax and distract myself too. I try to reserve the Xanax for when I am at my wit's end.

Was very anxious today.

A bit antsy because i'm worried about something, which I cannot focus in other stuff.

Had a good day today and it was my first therapy day since I was D/C from the hospital.

Thanks I was worrying they would stop it cold turkey. I was thinking of trying 1/2 a tab to see if that would be enough. It’s honestly the only medication that will help for my anxiety and it causes zero side effects.

Yes, it does help and if you don't count that stopping causes awful withdrawal problems then, yes, it causes zero side effects.

I ended up with a bad panic attack on my walk yesterday. Why? My life is going pretty good so I didn't take my Zoloft for two days (It makes me feel great at first when I stop). On day three, a terrible panic attack (took my Zoloft after the walk plus the Xanax) then I couldn't sleep very well last night. I end up taking more Xanax when I cut the Zoloft back (don't like some of the side effects). Everytime I mess with the dose my psych prescribed, it causes problems. Are the problems because I need it for the rest of my life or because it is what my body is used to? When I went on it, I was coping with a stressful relationship issue but now I am coping with that better because of boundaries, self care, etc. Next session with my psychiatrist I plan to ask--do I need to stay on my medications for life? (Based on what I know about what happens when I cut them back). My panic attack yesterday seemed to be 100% physical--cognitively, I was at peace and not worrying about anything. My husband wondered if I was worrying about something subconsciously. I just don't know....