[naturalemotion5]

This is sort of difficult to sum up but I'll just cut to it...I have a lot of phobias. So many phobias. and it depresses me to the point where I feel no hope at all

Irrational fears of all kinds of things I can't even name them all... heights (and when I mean heights I mean like three stories is enough to stop me from going somewhere I need to be), social anxiety (I've always had friends but I avoid them a lot because frequent communication increases my anxiety and I never speak to new people because im so ******* anxious), hypochondria since I was maybe six, food anxiety (paranoid about bacteria, whether i will choke on it, to where I'm constantly throwing food away and have lost drastic amounts of weight before) and the worst is my driving phobia that developed when I first started driving, intensified after a bad accident that left me without a car. I haven't driven since and I flinch and have panic attacks all the time in the drivers seat.

I feel like a complete freak, and a loser, because I have never seemed to function like everyone else my age and I have never met anyone else that has dealt with any of this. It's pathetic and lame and frustrating for everyone around me to be this paranoid about everything, it sets me back so much, especially the driving. I'm stuck living with my folks in a place with poor transportation, where a car is essential, and I literally feel so trapped because even if I had a car being on the road as a passenger is enough to cause panic. I have to always hide this ******** from everyone because its such a huge source of shame and people always look down on me for it or take it personally.

I really just want to give up.

[Reagan85]

Originally Posted by naturalemotion5

I feel like a complete freak, and a loser, because I have never seemed to function like everyone else my age and I have never met anyone else that has dealt with any of this. It's pathetic and lame and frustrating for everyone around me to be this paranoid about everything, it sets me back so much, especially the driving.

Hey there Natural, I’m really sorry that you’re having such a hard time at the moment. It sucks beyond belief feeling somehow less than other people, and I really feel for you that you’re struggling with those feelings!

The thing that stood out most to me about your post wasn’t the fact that you can’t drive, or that you’re currently living at home - the thing that stands out the most to me is your bravery. Seriously!

You’re struggling with crippling phobias, and presumably anxiety and depression as well, and you’re still here, and not only that but you’re still trying to find solutions (reaching out by posting here). I think that you should give yourself credit for that - you must be doing something right!

I suffer from social anxiety as well, and I know how draining a simple conversation with a close friend can be. But I think that the resulting isolation is even worse, so if you can, reach out to your friends. And if you can’t, well you have friends here! Feel free to message me at any time! :-)

Also, if you see a therapist, book an appointment to see them - or even your GP if therapy isn’t your bag (though I highly recommend it). I know you’re feeling a little hopeless right now, but try to remember that people can’t help you if they don’t know what you’re going through.

Hang in there, I know it doesn’t feel like it at the moment, but you’re actually doing great. Just take it one day at a time!

[avlady]

I hate cars too, and was in several accidents, but I don't think I have the skills to drive myself where I would feel more in control. when I am a passenger in cars I am freaking out no matter how a good driver they are. I try to avoid needing rides but often have to rely on my husband to take me to places. I am also a hypochrondiak, always in hospitals for migraines. there have been times when I have broken bones in fact several of them,. I also was on psych wards several times too. you are not alone!!I have a therapist and psychiatrist and am on meds which is the only way I can cope. I think now I am in so much anxiety because I had triggerpoints done on my back for arthritis and I am reacting from it. I hate making phone calls, I am a coward!!!I have done several brave things on my own too but can't seem to do them unless I an the situation.

Naturalemotion,

Are you being treated (seeing a therapist or psychiatrist) for your anxiety?

When I am having panic attacks, my medication helps though sometimes I get paranoid about being dependent on my medications and what they will do to me in the long run. However, my blood pressure gets lower (114/77 and I am 55 so that is great numbers) when I am taking enough medications for my anxiety. Without my medications, it is around 139/85 (this is not good for your health)--so not taking my medications is probably more dangerous for my health in the long run (Heart disease is the #1 cause of death and stroke is #5).

They say exposure therapy (forcing yourself to do something you are afraid to do) is also important/helpful. So is yoga and meditation. Sometimes I do yoga at home in front of my smart TV. I like Yoga with Adriene on Youtube.
Long walks are also calming for me (though you can get panic attacks during walks but I can tell they are mostly very good for my anxiety)--getting out of the house somehow so you don't feel trapped has always helped me. I don't know if you are the same but just making suggestions for you to try. Don't give up. Keep trying to heal yourself!!!

It is good that you are talking about it here. I think that could help motivate you to try to help yourself, get help and know you are not alone. Take it one day at a time?

[TishaBuv]

You may have an anxiety disorder and can be helped with meds and therapy. It’s not your fault. It doesn’t make you bad or lame in any way, and it’s quite common. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. I hope finding others here who share your issue will help and comfort you.

[Crazylion]

naturalemotions, you little sweet and wonderfulful you! In 35 years when you are at the "top of the hill" looking down, you will be at the peak of your life also where aside from going over the hill, have lived the majority of your life by then.

When you get there, you will smack yourself when you realize the thousands, no millions of things you still have ahead of you. I am 54, and one thing is for sure, life sometimes doesn't get better, but it sure will change -- and if you develop a sense of humor where everythig is funny -- and it really is -- life will be an absolute ball.

Remember: Life is a bowl of cherries, and we are all fruitcake.

You are NOT a loser. There is nothing wrong with you where you should feel ashamed about anything. If someone or something in your life make you feel less than or shames you, get rid of it. Don't ever compromise yourself. You are too importatnt to yourself and to God. or if you don't look that way -- however you focus your higher self - you get my drift.

in my lifetime, I've seen more people with phobias than not, with issues on germs -- my hubby is one of them, and he has health issues and wants to stay home all of the time, but they are real. He just likes to feel lousy.

This is from my personal experience which is all I know, and I've "field tested" it myself. ha ha. I see the humor in everything. You are likely very bored with life and yourself. I spent an hour and a half today sitting in the shoe department in the clearance corner at Target just sitting and staring, sticking my gum on the shopping cart, picking my nose, acting a little dramatic like it looked like I might be having a heart issue or hot flash but too hard to tell, etc. You get the picture. I was pretty depressed for no reason today. changing the scenery always helps. I loved being your age and living at home or just moving out. My favorite was leaving for work in San Francisco on a Monday and not coming home until Thursday.....youth is awesome. and that was the 80s. Young people today got gyped!!!

I don't know how silly I can get without offending you, but in all seriousness, I meant everything that I said about you being important. This place has always been a sanctuary and is relaible. I need to be more active.

If you want to be posting buddies where everytime you post or I do, we respond to one another to keep ourselves active and in the loop, just give me a shout out or private message me.

Stay strong...Courage!!

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, naturalemotion5 I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You're NOT a loser and you're NOT pathetic. You've been given some great advice in this thread. I'd suggest to try to follow it if you can. Please don't be so hard on yourself. It's not your fault if you're struggling with anxiety and phobias. You're definitely not alone in this as this thread has already shown. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your anxiety and phobias. I'd suggest to see a Pdoc as well if you can. I'd suggest to try to take some medications if you can. They could be really helpful to you. I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. It must be very hard for you. Please remember thast you're not a loser. You'ìre a wonderful person. You're just struggling right now. That's all. That doesn't make you an horrible person and it doesn't make you worthless. Remember that you're not alone here. We're here for you if you need to talk about it. We all care about you here. We all love you here. I hope you'll be able to get the help you need and deserve. You deserve to get better and to feel good. You deserve to live a good life just like everyone else. Remember that things won't stay like this forever. They can and will get better. You just need a little help. That's all. It won't be easy. It will take time. But it can be done. Just take all the time you need. Take it one step at the time. Take baby steps.Remember that you're stronger than you think. You've got this. Try to hang on. You can do this! You're strong, I know that. I believe in you. Stay strong, naturalemotion5. Stay safe and take care of yourself. I'm so sorry, I know it's hard. Please don't give up. I hope things will get better soon for you. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this

[xmascarol]

Originally Posted by naturalemotion5

This is sort of difficult to sum up but I'll just cut to it...I have a lot of phobias. So many phobias. and it depresses me to the point where I feel no hope at all

Irrational fears of all kinds of things I can't even name them all... heights (and when I mean heights I mean like three stories is enough to stop me from going somewhere I need to be), social anxiety (I've always had friends but I avoid them a lot because frequent communication increases my anxiety and I never speak to new people because im so ******* anxious), hypochondria since I was maybe six, food anxiety (paranoid about bacteria, whether i will choke on it, to where I'm constantly throwing food away and have lost drastic amounts of weight before) and the worst is my driving phobia that developed when I first started driving, intensified after a bad accident that left me without a car. I haven't driven since and I flinch and have panic attacks all the time in the drivers seat.

I feel like a complete freak, and a loser, because I have never seemed to function like everyone else my age and I have never met anyone else that has dealt with any of this. It's pathetic and lame and frustrating for everyone around me to be this paranoid about everything, it sets me back so much, especially the driving. I'm stuck living with my folks in a place with poor transportation, where a car is essential, and I literally feel so trapped because even if I had a car being on the road as a passenger is enough to cause panic. I have to always hide this ******** from everyone because its such a huge source of shame and people always look down on me for it or take it personally.

I really just want to give up.

First of all you are not a loser or a freak.Sounds like you have an anxieties which sometime they will develop into a panic attack.I feel sometimes these anxieties are my fault .I don't know why but I do.You are among friends here so keep on posting we are all here for you.

[naturalemotion5]

Hello everyone! Thanks for all the kind messages and advice Part of me taking some time to respond was anxiety related. Even on a forum I have social anxiety issues.

For those that asked, I do have an individual therapist but she specializes more in general issues then phobias. And I take klonopin as an anxiety medication but I am very weary of increasing the dosage as I know its addictive.

I am going to look into exposure therapy like some people mentioned here. I think this is primarily a avoidant behavioral thing. But this all helped me to see that I'm not alone, and honestly its what I need right now!