character anxiety - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-13-2019, 12:53 PM #1
kuru's Avatar
kuru kuru is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: TN
Posts: 40
kuru kuru is offline
Member
kuru's Avatar
kuru has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: TN
Posts: 40

18 hugs
given
Default character anxiety

so.. i dont really know how to start this

ive written about this issue in my little word doc/journal, ill just copy and paste it here



'I need to write something. I donít know about what. I just need to type the keys in my keyboard. It feels nice. It sounds nice.


I wish I didnít feel......


There's a story I want to write. A fiction. About another fiction. A fanfiction.


But... thinking about characters, not just from this one piece of media, gives me a weird sense of anxiety? It feels.. like the symptoms of a crush. Nervousness, blushing. But itís really uncomfortable. A crush is supposed to be pleasant right? I donít think I've ever really had a crush, so i donít know. I just know I wish I didnít feel like this. I wish it didnít happen. I donít know whatís wrong with me, and I donít know how to fix it.


While I may like these characters, unlike most people in a fandom, I donít really develop crushes or fall in love. I donít want to date or **** any character that I might like. Iím aromantic and asexual. But those feelings? Why do they happen? It doesnít make any sense.


Maybe itís me subconsciously judging myself.


Sometimes, when lying on my back or side, I feel like some entity is just.. There. I feel like.. Like my intimate parts are sometimes exposed... I guess. I donít know exactly how to describe it, but thatís basically it. Sometimes itíll feel that way for my chest too. And even when I'm trying to use the bathroom, that same kind of feeling will manifest, that I'm being watched or something, and itíll keep me from doing my business. I hated typing that. Why? Take a wild guess.


It's so uncomfortable. I wish it would just go away. What would you even call that type of mental state? A weird variant of anxiety? I donít know.


I try to tell myself itís just a ďbrain thingĒ and that itís not really there. But of course I already know that. But knowledge doesnít always thwart a feeling.


I want to write a certain character. But I just ****ing canít and...


I've talked about this to my friends. They said things about typical artist block remedies and about how.. I donít know, writing can be difficult and whatnot. But thatís not my problem, and it never has been, at least not yet.


Don't have ideas? Nope, got plenty of those. Confidence issues with the way you write? Not really.


It all just comes down to... writing and thinking about a certain character makes me so uncomfortable. Talking about them in regular conversation isnít so hard, but still in the very back of my mind thereís just that lingering feeling. And I want it to go away.'




it's a little thing i call character anxiety, but i have no idea what it is or why it's happening
__________________
it's okay to not be okay
kuru is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:

advertisement
Old 02-13-2019, 01:31 PM #2
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,459
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,459 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
30.8k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: character anxiety

I'm so sorry, kuru Is this fanfiction private or do you plan to show it to others? Perhaps you're just afraid of being judged. You're already judging yourself before even writing it. This kind of things can happens. Do you have low self-confidende or self-esteem? Perhaps that could be the cause. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help.. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you'll feel better soon. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're for you to support you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
MickeyCheeky is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 02-13-2019, 01:54 PM #3
kuru's Avatar
kuru kuru is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: TN
Posts: 40
kuru kuru is offline
Member
kuru's Avatar
kuru has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2019
Location: TN
Posts: 40

18 hugs
given
Default Re: character anxiety

Quote:
Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky View Post
I'm so sorry, kuru Is this fanfiction private or do you plan to show it to others? Perhaps you're just afraid of being judged. You're already judging yourself before even writing it. This kind of things can happens. Do you have low self-confidende or self-esteem? Perhaps that could be the cause. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help.. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you'll feel better soon. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. Remember that we're for you to support you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
i havent touched it in months because of this weird phenomenon(if thats how you spell it)

i really, really wanted to post it online and show it to others

in regards to self esteem... i dont really have high self esteem, but its not really that low. im just kinda "eh" about myself.

i dont really know about my self confidence, all i know is just that i wanted to write a story and show it to people, regardless if it was bad or not, because i know i can improve with time and patience.

and no, i dont see a therapist.

this has been a thing since i was a kid. and at first it wasnt really that bad. i was really into this show called tmnt, and of course i had a favorite character. i remember sometimes i would do things to try and "impress" him, i guess, because it always felt like i was being watched by him. and a lot of my actions i think are kind of dictated by that.

nowadays it's not a specific character or person, just an entity that's constantly in the back of my mind. it's so unbelievably weird.
__________________
it's okay to not be okay
kuru is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:00 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.