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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 22
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#1
Anxiety OCD depression
1st therapy appointment: Anxiety hit the roof. It was in an unfamiliar location. It was at night. I get anxious driving so my partner took me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to drive there because the roads are only side parking and that terrifies me. I had anxiety thinking I hit the wrong button on the elevator. I had anxiety in the elevator thinking it would stop working and I would be stuck on it. I had anxiety thinking I hit the wrong floor button even though I hit the 2nd floor. I had anxiety once I got to the floor because it was so late and nobody was in the building. I had anxiety once I saw my therapist for the first time. I tried not judging her because she’s a nice lady but I don’t think she’s the right match for me. She has a hunched back and glass eyes. I automatically had anxiety from her. I cried my entire session which felt good but I felt like I didn’t get out anything in those 45 minutes I had. I felt like I needed to wash my hands and body the entire time in the room because I felt dirty. I felt like I smelt like that room after I left. 2nd therapy appointment: I’ll give her another chance. Anxiety wasn’t as bad because this session was in the morning. Anxiety was bad because I still needed my partner to drive. I thought she was mad and that’s all I could think in the back of my head. I couldn’t stop picking my chin apart because of it. Anxiety was still bad because I thought I pressed the wrong elevator button. Inside the elevator there was a sign saying that something would stop working on today’s date and all I could think about was the elevator breaking. My therapist told me that was for the residents who also live in that building. I arrived at the wrong time because in my head I thought it was set for 8am but it was 845am. I sat on the couch picking my face more. I still don’t think I got much out from the session. The sessions feel short and I feel like I’m not getting the advice I need. I feel like I’m staring at her glass eyes and I can’t tell her that’s why I’m distracted. She also started drooling and I couldn’t look away. It fell from her mouth and down her shirt and she didn’t wipe it or realize it was happening. Am I horrible? I know I need a therapist who I can feel connected to. I want to feel refreshed after a session and all I feel right now is like throwing up. Ugh. |
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Fuzzybear, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#2
Are you being treated by a doctor with medication as well?
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#3
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Dust to Dust, MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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#4
I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Dust to Dust I agree with what all the others have already wisely said better than I ever could. You're NOT horrible. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You're a strong, wonderful person who's trying to do his best to survive. That's what matters the most! Perhaps this therapist is just not the right match for you. It can happen. Sometimes it can take a while before we find the right therapist for us. I'd suggest to try to see if you can find another one if you can. Maybe that could help. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that there's nothing to be ashamed of. It's not your fault if you're feeling like this. It's not your fault at all! I hope things will get better soon for you. You deserve to be happy and to feel good just like everyone else does. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Dust to Dust. I hope things will get better soon. I'm sure you'll be able to get through all of this. You're a strong, wonderful person. You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! Please don't give up! Try to hang on!
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Dust to Dust
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Junior Member
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Location: New York
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Junior Member
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Location: New York
Posts: 22
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Junior Member
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Location: New York
Posts: 22
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#7
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#8
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