[Aubrey43]

I wish I knew what to do about myself. Mods - please move this if you know a better forum for it, I really don't know what this links with. I have BPD and schizoaffective but it's neither of those issues at the core.

I’m going through the motions and acting pretty normal and happy but under the surface I’m not ok. It’s so hard to work out what exactly is wrong. I think I’m ok then 20 minutes later I’m fighting an anxiety attack at work.
At the moment, the big issue is attention span – I’m struggling as ever to work a normal 9 to 5 office job because I can’t seem to sit down for long before I get fidgety and anxious and distracted. It’s like I’ve got this massive pile of work to get through (ok, not that massive) and all I can do is stare aimlessly out of the window. I can’t seem to keep my focus, then my work piles up, then my anxiety gets worse, so I go for a cigarette, then I worry I’m wasting time, and get anxious that I’m going to be in trouble or lose my job. I spoke to my psychiatrist about this and she asked about my caffeine intake which was kind of high (4 coffees a day ish) and said that she wants to look at reducing that before we look at medication options. I’ve been on decaf almost exclusively for three weeks and it’s made no difference. She also asked me if I’ve always been like this, so now I’m thinking back over a lifetime of being in trouble at school for daydreaming and getting distracted and fidgeting. It’s really impacting my work and general enjoyment of that part of my life. I hate work, it is like being trapped in a box for 30 hours a week doing the same thing over and over.

I want my psychiatrist to help me with this but I don’t know what that help would look like – or am I destined to always struggle and hate my working hours?

[CANDC]

HI Aubrey43. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you are so anxious. For this reason I moved your post to the anxiety forum. Please feel free to post wherever you feel comfortable but we do tend to move posts out of Other Mental Health to keep it for topics that do not fit in other forums.

Often the prescriber will reevaluate the effectiveness of meds if the person is not feeling comfortable and stable. Talking to them might be a good first step.

Maybe these may be of interest
6 Tips to Manage Stress and Avoid Burnout at Work | Working Well

Coping with Anxiety

8 Surprisingly Simple Ways to Manage Anxiety at Work

Coffee jangles me and I feel nervous and frenetic. Having a high protein low carb diet helps my moods stay more stable. I also find exercise before work helps and when I cannot focus I have a high protein snack. I have even done exercises in the bathroom to raise my energy.

Hope you find something that works for you.

[hvert]

Work makes me feel trapped too, so I don't have any great suggestions on that front. My approach is to do as little of it as possible, lol.

Earlier this week I came across some articles suggesting that the 'normal' adult attention span is about 10 minutes. That really surprised me and made me feel better because that often feels like as much as I can handle. Have you ever tried the Pomodoro method or using timers?

[Aubrey43]

Thank you both for the replies and resources! I'm back on caffeine - though a lot less than before - and I'm a lot more capable of holding attention. The anxiety is probably a little worse though. Everything has side effects

I've not heard of Pomodoro - I thought that was an Italian tomato?? I work in "blocks" so that's kind of like timers. Basically I have a list of 800+ people to work through, so I break it into chunks of 25 calls. Otherwise I'm never getting anywhere haha. 25 calls would be about an hour's work including daydreaming time and I do really struggle. Ideally I'd get to do my job whilst walking miles and miles, I think 10 minutes is definitely difficult. Serial procrastination happens!

[MickeyCheeky]

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Aubrey43! I understand it must be very difficult for you. I completely agree with what CANDC and hvert have already wisely said better than I ever could! I'd suggest to listen to them if you can! They always give such great, wonderful advice! I'm really happy that you're feeling a bit better right now! I'd suggest to talk to your Pdoc and psychiatrist about this and see how it goes from there! Hopefully they'll be able to help you! Please do consider taking meds if you feel like they may help! Meds are often used to deal with anxiety! I believe that you can get through this! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings. Meds and therapy can be very useful if you're trying to cope with anxiety! I hope you'll be able to find the right solution for you! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this, Aubrey43! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! You're a strong, wonderful person! You're awesome! You're strong! You're a warrior! I believe in you! We all believe in you! We're all rooting for you! Keep fighting! Remember that you're awesome and strong! Remember that you're a warrior! We'll allways be here for you if you need it! We all care about you here! We all love you here! You know we won't judge you here! I promise you that! Keep fighting! You can do this! You've got this! We all know that and I'm sure you know it as well, at least deep down! I hope things will get better soon for you! Keep us updated and let us know how it goes!