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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 39
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#1
I’m honestly at my wits end and I don’t know what to do.
I have had social anxiety for around 10 years now. It’s not a nice thing to have but honestly it has been just about manageable although very hard. At the start of the year I decided to do an online course of cbt for anxiety and although i did find some of it interesting it has not reduced my anxiety. In fact, since I started the course it has gotten notably worse to the point where I’m really struggling to cope. Prior to starting the course I would feel anxious in the run up to social events and when speaking to people on the phone and in person. I normally take a beta blocker to help with the physical symptoms and that lets me just about manage in the social situations. Now though what was working before isn’t helping at all. I feel like I’m constantly in fight or flight mode even when I’m at home on my own where I used to be fine and have little to no anxiety. Now it’s constantly there and I have waves of anxiety throughout the day, it has been relentless. I think it’s linked to booking an appointment with a psychotherapist who I’m supposed to see face to face for the first time in two weeks (I’ve so far had a phone consultation). Since I booked the appointment stuff from my past has been really intense and tonight as a memory came to mind I got upset then couldn’t control my breathing and I think had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe properly, my heart was racing, I felt really hot, I was shaking and my lips were tingling. I managed to tell myself to try and calm down and then used a relaxation app on my watch to help calm my breathing but it was horrible and only the second panic attack (if it was that) that I’ve ever had, the last being probably over 10 years ago. I really don’t know what to do. I don’t know how much longer I can deal with so much intense anxiety 24/7. I keep thinking about cancelling the therapy appt as this would perhaps reduce the anxiety but then I know I’m not dealing with it and it might just come back anyway. I’m really worried about not being able to cope with talking about past trauma and spiralling out of control like I did when it first happened. I’m also struggling with
Possible trigger:
I haven’t dealt with stuff from my past in around 10 years and I was diagnosed with ptsd back then so I’m not sure if that’s linked but I could really use any words of advice if anyone has struggled in a similar way in the run up to therapy etc. Also for anyone in the UK. It seems like my appointments could be up to a month apart as it’s through my gp so I ring to book the next one after each appt and the second was 3 weeks away. I’m seriously worried about bringing stuff up then sitting on it on my own for up to a month (I’m really struggling with being okay right now). If you see someone through your gp have you been able to book regular weekly sessions or do you have to just take the next available appt? Sorry this post is so long and thanks for reading if you got this far |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind, hope2010, rainbow8
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
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#2
Honestly - I have PTSD and anxiety, as well as a couple other things - and yes one can trigger the other. It's referred to as a "domino effect".
I am in the same boat as you - have not had issues for several years until recently and now the things I used to use just are not. It's been so long I'm having to ask "was this an anxiety/panic attack" sometimes bc I don't always recognize the symptoms as being "definitive". From what you describe, it sounds like you had a trigger that set off your PTSD and in turn your PTSD triggered off a panic attack. (domino effect) As to how to prevent that particular type of thing from happening .. if you know your triggers you can avoid them, or if you know how to control your responses to them - be sure to be in tune with when you are starting to get too worked up around the thing that triggers you n remove yourself from the trigger immediately. Once you find yourself in a PTSD episode - grounding techniques work sometimes. If you can catch yourself before you get too far into the episode sometimes you can prevent the domino effect from occurring. If you find yourself in a panic attack - that's when you need relaxation methods or techniques.. I am not sure what you have tried so I dont know what to suggest. For coping during the time between sessions - I would reccommend daily walks. Walking is good for many reasons. I wrote a post regarding it in the depression forum but it pertains to anxiety for the same reason. You can read it if you like. Some Old Advice - from the earth Serotonin is well-known for treating depression but it is also something the body naturally produces .. and something which the body uses as an anxiety attack inhibitor, so when you read through that post - do not dismiss the information regarding serotonin, please. It will help a lot. Much love to you. ❤ __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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Member
Member Since Apr 2019
Location: UK
Posts: 39
5 45 hugs
given |
#3
Quote:
I think the trigger was that something from my past popped into my head and it kind of felt so real like I was there and it was happening right then. That’s something I haven’t experienced before. I get flashbacks/thoughts and images of what happened but never has it felt like it did then. The stupid thing is I told my t during a phone appt that I didn’t have panic attacks (which at the time I hadnt) and then suddenly here I am having one a week later. I’m not even sure if I still have ptsd or if it can go away? When I was diagnosed around 10 years ago I went to maybe 2/3 counselling appointments which I didn’t find helpful. I then moved away from the area and tried to forget about it all. My depression after the event did go away but I have had anxiety I would say probably since it happened and now I have decided to delve into the past again I’m feeling really down and depressed again so I really don’t know where I stand on if I still have it or not, who knows. I guess I might find out after a few face to face sessions. Thank you for sharing the link to your post. I have been trying to get out and walk more as it’s part of my exposure therapy but I do find some days I just can’t get out and about. |
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Crypts_Of_The_Mind
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,025
8 2,609 hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
As far as PTSD it definitely sounds like that's what you experienced - as far as if it can go away, i don't know. I know mine is greatly reduced and sometimes goes years b4 something triggers it. Depression depends upon the type you have. So yea - it is best you speak either with your T or Pdoc. Hope things get better for ya.❤ __________________ Life is not measured by the amount of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away |
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