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Zedsdead
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Member Since: Jan 2017
Location: Canada
Posts: 275
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Default Jun 05, 2019 at 04:10 PM
  #1
I feel il never overcome my anxiety. I left my abusive relationship 2 years ago and felt positive that I would meet somebody who would treat me better one day.

I tried online dating starting 6 months ago, and have talked to 3 different people. Each time I have blocked them the day of meeting for the first time. I feel horrible for my actions. I cry for hours after with guilt.

I feel so lonely, but actually coming to form a relationship feels impossible for me. I'm taking a long break from dating now... but I feel completely defeated. I take 150mg of zoloft and klonopin when needed. I eat clean and exercise. I feel I am trapped and am feeling so down about it I hate me.
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Default Jun 06, 2019 at 05:52 AM
  #2
Try to work on feeling proud of yourself for doing what you can. I have anxiety too. My POV is that anxiety comes from both the real life challenges we face and/or past trauma. You work. You are a mother of three children. You are isolated because I remember you saying your FOO is not very supportive. You had to divorce (weren't you married or did I get that detail wrong?) an abusive ex who you feared. He would successfully "guilt trip" making promises to change only to disappoint you whilest you have always carried the burden of being the one to raise three children.

Try not to hate yourself. Your challenges are immense. You are so strong just to still be standing. You cry because you care. Don't feel guilty about blocking others at this time. You just aren't ready for a relationship yet. You have so much healing to do and little time to devote to it. Be patient
because immense problems do not resolve quickly. Baby steps since you have been through so much. Pleas take care of yourself. You are a very special person. You are one of the bravest people I know.
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Default Jun 07, 2019 at 10:28 AM
  #3
Thank you so much for that lovely reply. It made me feel a little better about things.. I have wrote and thought lots about my attempts at dating and you're right. I am just not ready to do so. I have decided it will come naturally, when it is time.
I have lots of great things coming my way this year, I got accepted into university which has been a dream of mine for a long time now. I'm going to concentrate on my children and I and be patient.

Thanks again so much. Xx
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