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WishfulThinker66
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#1
I fear horrible disasters. In fact, the thoughts and imagery come so regularly that they do so more often than the memories of the PTSD related ones do. Everyday sometimes multiple times a day they weigh me down sometimes causing me to weep and always gripping me with fear. That fear may be momentary. That fear may last throughout the day. Always, they are accompanied with visions of the aftermath - usually images of the ones I love in hospital rooms. Ugh.
I cannot hear the sound of sirens without the triggered thought that my boyfriend has been in an accident. The anxiety worsens exponentially when he is out on his motorcycle. I have visions of him being in an accident at work. When I lived in the same city as my son, the same would happen. The phone rings and my first thought is that someone has been killed or maimed. When I am aware my adult children are on a road trip I fear them getting in an accident and worry and have visions and wait for the phone to ring right up until they advise me they reached their destination safely. My stepmom paddle boards and I thus have visions and worries involving her too. Anytime I know someone who is travelling and flying the same thing happens and so on and so on. I don't think this has anything to do with bipolar. It is not related to my PTSD (that is sourced in an entirely different manner). So why does this happen? Am I alone in this? Does it occupy as much of others' lives as it does my own? I'd appreciate your thoughts on this. Thx |
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winter4me
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#2
How long has this been going on? Is it something intermittent? Do you recall something triggering this? When my children were young, I had periods of time like this, and any news story that touched those fears made me cry; using a kind of magical thinking, I thought/felt that if I worried enough about something it wouldn't happen---feeling (not without some small but ultimately irrelevant reason) that only the worst things I "forgot" to worry about happened. I found it helpful sometimes, when able, to imagine myself the "hero" in the situation---I would stop it from happening, I would "be there" to alter the course or to rescue people... This happened less as the children became adults. But, (this seems some part of the same "coin") sometimes I find myself almost wishing for disaster (preferably natural) because I think "I would know what to do then, there wouldn't be many choices...it is down to doing what little you can for as long as you can...(& then I feel guilty when I hear of natural disasters...I should be there helping...or it shouldn't have happened...) sorry for rambling a bit. It sounds like the primary emotion/physiological state is panic/anxiety.
__________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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WishfulThinker66
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Location: Canada
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#3
Quote:
I have no recollection of any disasters happening to those I love. However, I do have memories of them happening to those my loved ones loved. Also, as a young child I had odd unexplainable premonitions of terrible occurrences. One stand out example was from the time I was six years old. I watched a news item about a small plane accident in which the children survived but not the parents. I had a sickening feeling and moments later the phone rang. Even before my mother picked it up I knew it was someone calling her to notify her that the crash had involved her best friend. While this is an extreme example, this sort of thing happened a lot in my childhood. Occasionally it has happened since I've been an adult. When I woke up on the morning of 9/11 to news that a plane had hit a tower my then husband assumed it was a small aircraft in distress. Nope, I just knew it was what turned out to have happened and I just knew that wasn't the end of it. I saw it happening before it did. I also have frequent situations of Deja Vu. I realise it is silly but over and over again something happens and I feel I dreamt about it exactly beforehand. And this is why these visions of horrible disasters are so very troublesome for me as, based on prior experience, I expect these things to happen. |
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winter4me
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#4
Interesting, I have had some similar experiences/a kind of "foreknowledge" [i presume quantum physics makes allowance for the 'probability'...]---not for a while, less as I get older.
__________________ "...don't say Home / the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris |
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Anonymous32451
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#5
one of my fears is people collapsing on me (past experience with people dying by my side) so yes, I constantly wonder when I'm going to have to be taking charge of CPR or calling an ambulance for someone (I have used CPR 3 times on people successfully) so it's not like I don't know how to do it, which I suppose is a start
I also worry about spiked drinks- I mean I will drink from cafes etc, but wonder if the drink is okay (you hear about it a lot,) in fact- one of the people I did CPR on had her drink spiked I also worry about the end of the world. I am a strong believer that the end of the world will happen in my lifetime, (we've had enough close calls) |
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Anonymous32451
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#6
I don't worry so much about earthquakes, tornados, that sort of thing
it's easy to say.. yeah, I live in england, we'll never have a serious earthquake- nothing to worry about, I wonder how i'd feel though if we actually did? I take things like that for granted. the last proper natural disaster I remember in england is the hurricane of 87 and I wasn't even walking then. but i've been told stories of it |
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magicalprince
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#7
I have this too.
I've been thinking that it comes from basically being in a defensive mindset where I am not perceiving a lot of opportunities and am only concerned with preserving what I have. So maybe it really comes from unwanted, unpleasant internal feelings of loss. To escape the existing feelings of loss I become over-protective of the things I have not yet lost and thus constantly worry about any way I could ever possibly lose them. |
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Medusax
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#8
Oh this is the perfect thread for me right now. I was going to start my own, but this is good.... I do not fear natural disasters so much. I fear things like the house catching fire and my animals trapped. When I hear sirens I fear that our older friend is in trouble. I get images in my head about these things that I cannot get out and they will tortured me through the work day, which then puts me in a foul mood. I also worry about whether or not i shut this or that door, or turned off the light, etc. I drive myself nuts.
__________________ I go about my own business, and keep my mind on myself and my life. I expect the same courtesy from the rest of the world. |
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Grand Poohbah
TunedOut
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Member Since: May 2019
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#9
They say that fearing disasters (especially when you play an entire scenario out in your head) is a way to prepare for the worst.
I think about the possibility of terrible, terrible things more when I am anxious/depressed. When I am feeling up, I think more of positive things that are possible so I think these symptoms might mean you need further anxiety/ depression treatment of some kind. Acknowledge that it is possible but it hasn't happened. If you pray, say a prayer for the safety of our loved ones? Disasters are out of our control and perhaps imagining them is a way to feel like we have more "control" should it happen? Sometimes listening to "up" music or comedy helps me. So does getting outside. It is horrible to have these thoughts all of the time. When I say them out loud, my husband immediately asks me to stop so we aren't as fun to be with when we are thinking like this. These thoughts tend to send out bad vibrations. Snoopy is HAPPY!!! YouTube Bohemian Rhapsody | Muppet Music Video | The Muppets YouTube Last edited by TunedOut; Jul 04, 2019 at 05:26 AM.. |
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Medusax
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