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FridayT
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Member Since: Jun 2015
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 55
8 yr Member
37 hugs
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Trig Jul 11, 2019 at 03:38 PM
  #1
Angry rant

I really just don’t know what to do.
I cannot pay my rent and I still hadn’t, all because I had to leave work a lot to take kyle to the hospital. I feel that I have to quit work. I’m not sure if it’s a good idea or not or what I can do. Any time I tried to think of anything I can try to do, I’m always being given the bearers of extremely bad news.
I just want to say to hell with everything! To hell with apartments, to hell with retail, to hell with SSA demanding overpayment ********, to hell with medical bills! I can’t pay for anything! I’m barely able to stay afloat when paying bills and food! That’s all I can do! But even worse when your husband is in too much god damn pain that literally nothing works and no one listens! I just can’t do this anymore! I had too many things I want to do and too many things I had to do! It’s not a matter of prioritizing or anything, it’s just that I cannot manage appointments, I cannot go to school, I cannot get to my writing in peace, I can’t manage paying anything especially with medical bills and SSA overpayment bull! I don’t know what the hell did anyone expect me to do! I can’t get promotion or a raise no matter what! Every customer compliments me, but managers don’t think that’s enough to reward me with better pay or better position! I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how anybody expects me to deal with this ********!

You come here in my shoes for a minute;
You only get 16 an hour, you work 30 hours, but you now have to work even less because your husband is in too much pain that you need to go to the hospital! Neither of you have anybody to help you!
You have no friends, you can’t go to school, you can’t afford to live anywhere, you have to deal with unruly neighbors, your bosses don’t believe you’re owed a better position or wage, especially since you’re DEAF!
You got overpayments from social security association that isn’t even your fault because they expect you to not only tell them that you’re working and what your pay is, but you had to tell them to stop paying you! Clearly, they want you to reach out 100% instead of them reaching halfway.
You got medical bills you can’t pay off because you’re already paying food, bills and rent and you got no money! Oh, but everyone tells you to reduce your expenses! WHAT EXPENSES?! You might as well have no job, no apartment, no nothing and live with the homeless junkies that’ll rob you, kill you or rape you!
No one listens to you, everyone says the same tiresome cliché trope about cutting expenses, prioritize, get a better job, go to school and so on! NO! No more! I’m ****ing done!
I need help more than anything! I want to get out of Seattle and I need help getting donations! I just can’t do this anymore! There is no good in this world! Everytime I tried to reach out, the only people that cared is my family but even they can’t do much themselves.
All I ever wanted was to be able to get myself a house of my own, raise an adopted son one day, publish my books, explore the world and even be known on youtube. I know, I’m reaching, but I’m not saying I want to be famous, I just want to do something with my life! This is stupid, but it’s true. I’m even writing my philosophy on the name I created. Because I feel that it’s the only thing that keeps me grounded, but it’s not enough to help me. It’s like having Helms Deep in LOTR but it can only protect you for so long before the walls crumble. All I am asking is for help. So please. I’m at the end of my rope.
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