All alone and feeling so depressed I cannot stand it

My best friend who usually sits with me lately hasnt been able to because she has to do her friends job it has been killing me,I have been crying because it is making me not only depressed but lonely.I hate being alone matter of fact I get scared because of it.I hope she can stay tomorrow if not then who knows when she can.I told her how I felt and I also know it isnt her fault if her friend is out sick as she calls him her partner.She needs help too,she cannot do everything.Wish i could help her but I am unable to since it requires driving around all day long.I miss her terrible because of it I have broken down and cried.I had a terrible nightmare the other night ,I dreamt that someone came to my apt and told me she had passed away and I was so upset I did nothing but cry and yell.I need her in my life she is really the only friend I got around here.Being alone is not helping my mood any either.I just miss her.She loves me and I love her too. I know she wishes she was with me she has told me so.There is nothing she can do about it,that is her job.I just wish this guy would stop taking so much time off.Now I find out that MOnday is a holiday this will be the 5th Monday now that I havent been able to sit with her.When she leaves I just warm up my meals then I lay down and watch my soap Days of our Lives, it gets to be so lonely around here,my neighbor is here no more she is with Hospice now because she has cancer she is only 55. I wasnt close to her but we did talk.I feel so bad for her so I lit her a candle. Being alone is no fun

Here's hoping you & your friend will be together again soon.

Hi I was so happy she came by today and sat with me for an hour and a half I wont get to see her now until next Tuesday because she is out tomorrow spending time with her mom she goes and takes her out to dinner sometimes then Monday is a holiday.She is such a nice person she helped me wrap up some Christmas presents that were hard for me to wrap they were just to big.We watched a movie today it had Lucy Lawless in it we liked her from Xena but she wasnt in the movie for to long and it turned out that the move stunk but we had a good time anyway I am always giving her some snacks to eat.I will buy her some food sometimes like chips and cookies.I had some bad news today my neighbor just passed away a couple of days ago she was only 58 she had cancer really bad this was the woman who yelled at me last year because of my problem with yelling I feel so bad but u know she didnt look to good when I last saw her she lived right next to me,so sad