Past experiences effecting my sleep and life TRIGGER WARNING

July131990 · Nov 04, 2019 at 01:32 AM

Ok so about two years ago I was sexual coerced into acts I didn't exactly feel comfortable with with a person I barely knew plus I deal with a very emotionally abusive older sister . Thankfully she no longer lives with me . Anyway I can't sleep well at night from the abuse of both the person and my sister. My arms tingle, bladder hurts and I get sweaty and feel like I'm not breathing. I've tried meds they just make me feel worse like brain fog, muscle twitching . My boyfriend doesn't quite understand and gets frustrated with me witch I understand. Just needed to vent some support thanks

Lilly2 · Nov 05, 2019 at 07:25 AM

I'm so sorry you are struggling with this @July131990

(((safe hugs)))

I've dealt with some of the same symptoms you've mentioned, including insomnia, body memories, and somatic sensations. Self-care helps in times like these, which can reduce but not entirely erradicate all symptoms. Still, sleep becomes an issue, and no amount of meds helped. Sometimes bedtime hygiene helps, but not always. Insomnia becomes more trauma-related than "thought-related." CBT-i (for insomnia) might help a little, but I honestly think that trauma-based CBT would help better if it were geared toward sleep problems, or integrated with CBT-i to form a unique but doable trauma-treatment approach to trauma-related insomnia. Beds become unsafe places for me, as do sofas. It's hard for me to relax in a symbolic chamber of doom. I still have these issues. And, I have stress incontinence from being overweight, after giving birth, and feeling terrified from my traumatic memories.

What helps me is to get up and walk around when I'm feeling like that. I go on PC, watch a safe film, do some house chores, go outside for some fresh air, or (when I was more energetic and not dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome) take a shower.

Last time I was in a relationship, I could handle the initial snuggling with my bf, but after an hour or so, I felt smothered and trapped by his arms. I couldn't snuggle for very long, and I couldn't sleep. Even if he woke up to comfort me, it still didn't alleviate the painful memories and/or body memories I was experiencing. To this day, I prefer sleeping alone and maintain my asexuality/abstinence. I like living alone and being single, which brought me more peace than I realized. It's not a lifestyle for everyone, however. I can't imagine what you are going through, and how you could work on you while also maintaining a healthy and satisfying relationship with your bf. It must be hard on your bf, too.

I would think that working with a T on trauma-related issues might help with some of those things, but also finding a T who understands CBT-i an trauma-related insomnia might be best; both would probably need to be worked in succession or concurrently for the tools to be effective. I've learned how to cope with my emotions and dissociation, but not yet with traumas I haven't processed yet. I have DID on top of everything else, and all at the forefront. Sleep is like a chore now. Sleep should be a relaxing event, not a reminder of past traumas.

(((safe hugs)))

I can relate.

July131990 · Nov 07, 2019 at 01:55 AM

Thank you very much. I actually do better with my boyfriend around. My lack of sleep is starting to cause an issue with out dealership as hes worried , I sleep on a couch cause unfortunately I have to have a tv , and I get pins and needles the moment I lay down, bladder or pelvic pain and swearing. I'm afraid its going to cause my relationship to break apart too. In addition to that trauma my older sister use to physically abuse me and verbally plus I lost my mom a little over 4 years ago. I don't have insurance and am at marcy of the county here.

Lilly2 · Nov 07, 2019 at 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by July131990

Thank you very much. I actually do better with my boyfriend around. My lack of sleep is starting to cause an issue with out dealership as hes worried , I sleep on a couch cause unfortunately I have to have a tv , and I get pins and needles the moment I lay down, bladder or pelvic pain and swearing. I'm afraid its going to cause my relationship to break apart too. In addition to that trauma my older sister use to physically abuse me and verbally plus I lost my mom a little over 4 years ago. I don't have insurance and am at marcy of the county here.

@July131990 (((safe hugs)))

I'm so sorry that you lost your mom a little over 4 years ago. I hope that you are able to find adequate treatment for all your symptoms. That must be tough. I'm also sorry that your sister abused you, another tough one.

It sounds like your bf is understanding and supportive.

Keep us posted on how you're doing and whether or not you were able to find treatment and help for your symptoms. I'm so sorry, once again, that you're struggling with all of this. (((safe hugs)))

bpcyclist · Nov 07, 2019 at 06:52 PM

Not sure if you are in Wyandotte County or not, but if you are, I would imagine they have pretty extensive mental health resources that are low-cost or no-cost available to residents of the county. You might want to google that and make a few calls. The largest of the three counties that make up the Portland area, Multnomah, has outstanding services available for next to nothing. Probably worth look. The other thing is, there are all kinds of meds for anxiety disorders, so don't give up just yet. There are other options out there.

Sending you positive vibes and best wishes.

July131990 · Nov 07, 2019 at 11:17 PM

Thanks everyone. I'm seeing a therapist and pysh and on meds but I feel like I need either different meds or therapy. unfortunately I'm at the mercy of my county .

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Past experiences effecting my sleep and life TRIGGER WARNING

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July131990 Member Member Since Nov 2019 Location: Kansas city Posts: 45 4 14 hugs given	Nov 07, 2019 at 11:17 PM #6 Thanks everyone. I'm seeing a therapist and pysh and on meds but I feel like I need either different meds or therapy. unfortunately I'm at the mercy of my county .
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