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Member Since Dec 2018
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Posts: 151
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#1
Every yr my family likes to exchange gifts and do dinner on xmas. But lately ive been distancing myself from many of them ( some i never really spoke to before, but i could get away w/ sticking my name on a gift with my mother and saying it’s from us)..... I’m basically still going for my mom... not even staying long just enough to make an appearance for her and leaving...it’s the first yr my mothers spouse’s family will be there . I know I’m not obligated to get anyone anything but I
a.) dont want to look like an ******* for only getting a couple people things... what if the people i didnt buy for got me stuff? B.) i dont want it to cause an uproar not buying anyone anything...( because it will) C.) but i also dont want to throw hundreds of dollars away to people i dont really know or like.... coming to dinner is already difficult enough for me.. and i thought maybe I could do simple gift cards and bundle by the couple but it still comes out to over 300$ and this is only one side of my “family “ . Yr after yr i tell the ones who I KNOW will get me stuff that they dont have to. But they scream and yell and throw a fit... With this new group of people, i want to be respectful but in all honesty theyre strangers to me.... what should I do?? |
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#2
offer to take them on a shopping trip so that they know you are thinking of them, but they can get what they would like
I used to give gifts, but I don't give gifts anymore. honestly, I got sick of people coming up to me saying I hate it, or throwing it in the corner I remember 1 particular year a friend of mine begged me for a new jazz cd, I got it and then they told me that they'd gone off the idea of having it, and I felt quite angry at that. I watched this friend take his keys to each disk in turn and snap the cds in 2. shocked, and what a waste of money I don't do gifts now. ever |
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#3
I also don't do cards.
but for a diffrent reasons. because they are torn by the person after 1 day |
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Bat_Orchid90
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Member Since Dec 2018
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#4
Quote:
But it’s not that I don’t know what to get anyone. Its that i just dont want to... honestly most of them i dont even consider family. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2012
Location: rochester, michigan
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#5
gifts aren't supposed to be an obligation, you give gifts because you want to.
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Bat_Orchid90
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Threadtastic Postaholic
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#6
You could always share that you cant afford it this year.
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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Legendary Wise Elder
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#7
Maybe say to your mom you really don’t feel like going and explain why and then she can tell the others you are not feeling good or something?
My mom did this for me at Thanksgiving and my family didn’t think anything of it. __________________ Ridin' with Biden |
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Bat_Orchid90
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Member
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#8
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
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#9
Quote:
I wish my family was as understanding as yours.... the onky reason im going is for her. But already told her i wont be staying long. |
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
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#10
What about presents only for the kids?
At home, there’s a long time since Christmas presents are only for the kids, with the exception of your partner or spouse. I found the unluckily moment when I was given a present and I haven’t bought anything for anyone but I think they do it because I have no kids. __________________ Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits. Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance. Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON) |
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Member
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#11
Quote:
The only kids are my two cousins. And theyre already spoiled by their grandparents and parents, so my family ( the close ones) dont typically get them much. But it is the one time ofthe yr they kinda can buy for everyone. |
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