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Bat_Orchid90
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Default Dec 13, 2019 at 11:36 AM
  #1
Okay so I talk to my bf’s mother fairly frequently. Sending pics. Small talk, stuff like that. I met her a couple times, we live a decent distance away. My bf doesn’t like to talk to her. All of them. No ill feelings. Just not idk a social individual..... i feel bad, as she always asks about us, always wants us to visit and he doesn’t. So with the holiday. I KNOW his family is getting us gifts ( i intend on getting them something too). I havent really gone shopping for anyone yet. So i thought maybe me and her could go out together, shop, grab lunch, etc. but is that weird? I don’t want to look like the gf that tried to hard to get the parents to like her, orrrr like I’mtrying to one up her kids... it’s nothing like that. I just feel awful that they get us stuff, they always want us around, and i dont want to look like a jerk... ya know? Would that be too much? Just shopping and lunch? My bf doesn’t have a problem with us talking or wouldnt mind us hanging out. HE just doesnt want to. I just
1.) feel bad
2.) have had a bf family demonize me in the past
3.) I want to get to know his family more. If we end up being together long term Id like to know what im getting into. Or if we ever have children, that i can trust people around them. If i dont know you, i cant do that. I’ve spoken to him about it, and he just kinda laughs and forgets i mentioned visiting...idk what to do...
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sarahsweets
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Default Dec 13, 2019 at 01:26 PM
  #2
Does he say why he doesnt want to see his family?

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Bat_Orchid90
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Default Dec 13, 2019 at 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahsweets View Post
Does he say why he doesnt want to see his family?


He doesn’t give a reason...:/... and idk whether good or bad ... he swears nothing bad happened between any of them.. (he ciuld be lying because he doesnt wanna talk about it) i get that. But hes never idk how to put it.. upset by going or seeig them or talking about them. He talks about doing things with them growing up and laughs and smiles and all.. he just ... doesn’t talk to them or see them.. its weird.. but being in a relationship idk it’s important to me if we’re involved ya know? I just wanted to get to know his mom a bit more at least :/..I just didnt know if it’d look like i had some dark intentions or look arrogant or idk.. I’m the person that never wants people to hate me.. and its not just that! They get me things and invite me to things too so i wanna be respectful
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Default Dec 13, 2019 at 07:35 PM
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I never cared to be around my mother but my wife and her became fast friends . . . could be good for both of you . . . Christmas time and all . . . go for it ....

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Thanks for this!
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Default Dec 14, 2019 at 08:36 AM
  #5
Yes. Go for it. She probably really appreciates you spending time with her & it sounds like you like her too.

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