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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: N/a
Posts: 151
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Dec 27, 2019 at 05:16 PM
#1
Okay theyre not my inlaws.. but shorter than saying my partners parents ha. I very much would like to get to know them better and spend time with them. But I a.) have social anxiety b.) have a bad history with parents/family... so as much as i want to get to know them. I’m still hesitant and guarded... but everytime we try to visit.. they literally turn it into one giant gathering for the ENTIRE family. I’m talking, siblings, grandkids, pets, etc... i always feel extremely awkward and it’s overwhelming/overstimulating... I don’t want to be rude and say like “ heyyy do you mind not inviting your kid and their kids over?”.... or like.. even in a nice way that makes me sound crazy or weak like “ hey i have anxiety so I don’t really want to be around people”.... like idk how to touch on it without coming across as awful or insane..... but i always dread the events because of this.. it makes me physically ill... it never feels like a visit.. it just ends up feeling like an intervention or a set up. Even when they say it’s just them.. in actuality theyll all show up...
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,179
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Dec 27, 2019 at 05:43 PM
#2
Can your partner explain this to them for you?
__________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: N/a
Posts: 151
5 |
Dec 27, 2019 at 05:54 PM
#3
Quote:
But thats what i mean i dont know how to suggest that without coming off as rude or crazy... i dont want to be “babied” by people but idk... i also feel like thats not a normal thing for parents to do???? None of my exes organized a family reunion everytime we visited? That seems really foreign to me.. |
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Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,345
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Dec 27, 2019 at 06:00 PM
#4
Quote:
__________________  What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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 unaluna
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Legendary
Member Since Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,179
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9 1,868 hugs
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Dec 27, 2019 at 06:54 PM
#5
In some cultures it’s always a family affair. Maybe their family is just like this. It’s something you’ll have to get used to, if this is how they are and you really want to get along with them.
But I think there’s no shame at all in your partner explaining to them that you need to warm up slowly or be overwhelmed and you don’t sound crazy. __________________ "And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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seesaw
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Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: middle of nowhere/Central Europe
Posts: 358
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Dec 28, 2019 at 09:01 PM
#6
Maybe say that you'd like to spend time with only them because you want to get to know them better, but when there's whole family it's impossible to do so?
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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