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Old 01-16-2020, 08:26 PM   #11
giddykitty
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I say really weird things too, and it's sense to me but nonsense to others. One person in my life just won't let go of her thinking that I'm out of touch, and tries really hard to embarrass me. Her tactics are juvenile. She's in her 50s. Most people are thinking about their own concerns and whatever I've said is quickly forgotten. I don't like it when people use my strange off days to make me feel foolish or inferior, sometimes with their "bless your heart" pretend kindnesses. I try to think that I must be the one who feels that I don't belong, and I really don't know what others are thinking about unless they tell me.
Oh I know about those juvenile people. One I know can't let go of all of my early years faults. I mean, I was a young stupid teen! And you're right, nobody else minds me or does that. So frustrating!
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Old 01-16-2020, 08:31 PM   #12
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Itís very hard to convince yourself of the opposite to what you are thinking and feeling. Especially because we tend to project in our future our past experiences. Some of them, remembered and lived as negative.
How to get rid of them, right? Taking some distance and looking at them as objectively as possible and trying to look for an explanation as objective as posible.
Everyone, everyone, you, I and your neighbour whoever he is, is gonna screw things up. In any relation, there are two parties, and both parties bring up their prejudices, needs, flaws and virtues, complexes, personality. Maybe it has to do with something you have to fix but maybe itís more about the other person.
You, I donít have any doubt, are a precious human being with lots of to offer and live. Itís good to learn and do personal learning and development, it makes all better persons but donít get your sight apart on your own worthy, needs, rights.

Ever did your psychologist train you in mindfulness and self-compassion? It helped me a lot to be less hard on myself and cope aith difficult situations. Even with a terrible one, my dad passing away.
Awe! Thanks! You are worthy and all that too! I'm sure!

Um, actually I did have another therapist that started working DBT with me (basically mindfulness), but I think I learned more just from Google searches.
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Old 01-16-2020, 09:25 PM   #13
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It's still something I have to work on though and if I feel I'm getting too annoying, I take breaks so that I don't make situations worse by becoming too needy. If that makes sense.
It makes a lot of sense to me! Finding the boundaries can be a painful, trial-and-error process. Dismissive people can really hurt, too. In my own situations with this, I have tried to erase my allegorical fingerprints from activities and groups in which I bumbled my way and failed to make friends. I leave and try again with the feedback of what not to do, but with a different group and maybe a new nickname. I'm glad to hear that you take breaks and use your intuition, instead of rejecting yourself out of the group before knowing if they really would.
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Old 01-17-2020, 12:09 AM   #14
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It makes a lot of sense to me! Finding the boundaries can be a painful, trial-and-error process. Dismissive people can really hurt, too. In my own situations with this, I have tried to erase my allegorical fingerprints from activities and groups in which I bumbled my way and failed to make friends. I leave and try again with the feedback of what not to do, but with a different group and maybe a new nickname. I'm glad to hear that you take breaks and use your intuition, instead of rejecting yourself out of the group before knowing if they really would.
Yeah! I do the same things. Learn from my experiences and try them with new people. Lol But I also have a habit of sticking with something to try and work things out. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
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Old 01-17-2020, 03:26 PM   #15
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Things do eventually get better with keeping on trying! I am fairly successful and appreciated in the choir group I'm in currently. New people, six months now, employing what I've learned.
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Old 01-19-2020, 10:08 PM   #16
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I'm sending hugs. We like you here
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Old Yesterday, 04:47 PM   #17
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Default Re: worried I'm not liked and I will be sent away

I feel the same way a lot of the time. I have to remind myself that I'm just a different type of personality, and that my way isn't wrong- it's just not the same as others. It is hard, though, when I'm feeling like I'm always on the outside looking in. Fitting in seems effortless for other people, but it isn't for me and I've come to accept that it is okay, and I'm okay. Looking into personalities really helped me- I found out that my type is more rare, so it's a simple case of being an unusual person (and so it's harder to find people I click with).

Most online tests aren't super accurate (they're just a basic quiz that can be affected by mood, etc), but lengthy research into MBTI and the different functions really helped me be confident about my quirks. I can't post links yet because I'm new, but if you google "MBTI," lots of resources come up. 16 Personalities is a good one.
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