I feel I am not functioning

Hello, I am writing here because lately my anxiety is getting bad. I am scared and need some support.
In short, my life is good: I have a good job and a lovely girlfriend, but lately I had issues at work and my world started crumbling down. I have an history of depression that I kind of overcame about 4 years ago. I live in Asia as an expat and lately all my friends left to other countries and I started feeling lonely. This plus my work issues worried me a lot. Now I cannot sleep, it has been going on for weeks. Because of past depression, I am used to self-care, stress reduction techniques etc., but nothing is working now. Everything worries me, i feel useless. I guess I am out here to hear from ppl with similar stories and create a positive network. My affection goes to all those out there that struggle like I am. Peace.

Hello. I’m feeling similarly. I worry that I will crumble, I worry that my work will think I don’t have what it takes. I worry so much at home and at work. I have had problems in the past, too, and some memories have come back to me of hard times, and I feel pain about the past present and fear about the future.

I guess I still have ways to console myself and I seem mostly normal from the outside, maybe. But sometimes I worry I’m a moment away from melting down. I melt down a bit at home, but I Cannot at work of course! I get in work mode and do fine with my mood..But then I’m losing track of the big picture sometimes even when in work mode. I don’t trust myself to keep track of everything and it’s almost like I don’t care to..which is not like me. I feel so depressed and anxious that it must show. It must affect my work?

I need relief but I don’t know where to get it? I need to stay focused on my responsibilities because if I don’t I could be fired or something else could go wrong.

Thanks for making a post where I felt comfortable to share this, and I’m sorry you are struggling, too.

I am trying to be positive, but I feel so afraid recently that I’m not operating from the best position.

Even though I haven’t done anything horrible, I feel like I’m compromising my values by complaining, feeling overwhelmed, etc.

I need to grab life by the horns, but I’m struggling to find the coordination and energy. I was operating on adrenaline for a long time, and now I’m just spent. So I think maybe I need to be flexible and clever, but I’m too cynical anymore.

I just want someone who makes me feel such stress to care about me because I’ve exhausted myself caring about them! They care probably, but we’re all stretched thin! We’re barely keeping up, but we’re making big decisions too.

I didn’t mean to make such a big post here!

Keep on keeping on!
Peace

Thanks Cardoney for relating to my post.

It is really uneasy for me and I think there must be people out there that feel the same. It is a very unsettling condition and it is very strange because it is transient. One month ago or so, I thought and behaved perfectly well, then following some work triggers, it is as if my self-esteem suddenly disappeared and I spend hours self-evaluating myself and always conclude that I am hopeless.

I started taking anti-depressants, but I do not want to rely only on them and want to get out of meds ASAP. Is anyone out there that can relate to what I am saying and help me finding a way out?

Thanks a lot and peace!

C