Emetophobia due to past bad experiences

I keep having this ongoing emetophobia, i.e. fear of vomiting, ever since I was a small boy. I used to get all sorts of gastroenteritis, stomach virii, etc., which caused me to vomit way more than the average person does. Even as a teenager this emetophobia lingered.

When I was 21 I almost died due to having a bad reaction to caffeine pills, during which I vomited over and over.

A month after, I somehow caught viral labyrinthitis, causing me vertigo and severe nausea, where I vomited over and over uncontrollably.

Since age 23, I ended up with chronic acid reflux and indigestion with caused me a lot of bloating and nausea, which more or less continued steadily until I was almost age 29.

For some reason, my emetophobia goes way up when I am alone and away from my parents. I really am not sure what to do about it. If I ever see or hear anyone vomiting, I can get seriously anxious and probably would come close to a panic attack.

Even though I am 30, I still have terrible flashbacks to when I was 6, 7, 8 and various points of my childhood where I vomited for example in the classroom or in public places, humiliating myself.

Hearing about norovirus and that stuff causes me to be paranoid about this. I am also scared sometimes that if I eat something I could end up with food poisoning.

I was wondering if anyone here had emetophobia due to their past and how they got it under control.

Yes! I do. When I was growing up, like most kids, I vomited fairly frequently. But when I was 17 I vomited and passed out. My mother was not well (mentally) that day and I came to with her being abusive to me. Then again passed out when I was 25 and pregnant with my son...morning sickness, vomited, passed out cold. Terrifying.

After that I because phobic about vomiting. I think of Jimi Hendrix and others I've heard of who died from passing out while vomiting.

I feel so bad for you, having had such humiliating experiences and such. I wish I had a great answer for your question, but all I can say is you're not alone.

But how much do most kids usually vomit? I had stomach issues throughout my childhood, even having a colonoscopy at age 7. I also had terrible anxiety and a poor appetite, a combination which caused me to eat less and have a lowered immune system, making me susceptible to all sorts of stomach virii (gastroenteritis).

If I had to estimate, I vomited minimum once per month. Probably much more, because one bout of gastroenteritis could cause me to vomit over and over in just one day.

All of this cemented in my mind. I can remember 20+ years ago of my vomiting episodes, and they never leave my mind up to now.

I am especially worried when travelling, given the warnings about norovirus and all of that. And up to now I cannot find really any solution.

I struggle with this as well, and had it since I was 8 years old. It started, when I was put on antibiotic therapy for six months. The medication was hard on my stomach. I took the pill every morning, when I ate my breakfast. By the time I got to school, my stomach was upset. As a result I gradually developed a fear of vomiting in the classroom and in public places.

I have developed rituals around my fear in an attempt to mitigate the worry. It got so bad, that I couldn't eat out, and be near people who were sick with gastroenteritis. Food preparation became tedious. The fear was taking over. I had to do something, so I mentioned it to my shrink. Now I take medication. It has dramatically lessened my ritualistic behaviors and the emetophobia. It hasn't been completely eliminated, but I can now eat out and be around people who are sick.

My stomach is messed up. When I was younger, I was treated for gastritis twice. I have GERD and get nausea regularly. Sometimes my stomach feels raw, which can be very uncomfortable. This discomfort keeps the fear alive, but it isn't obsessive like it once was. I have learned ways to cope with the nausea without vomiting.

Do you have an anxiety disorder?

I do have anxiety. I have had generalised anxiety disorder plus social anxiety diagnosed by age 7. It was blatantly obvious that a formal diagnosis was not even required, since even I knew it at the time.

I got GERD at age 23. I started omeprazole, and it helped a little, but came back. Eventually I got an increased dose to 40 mg a day, which I take right now. It more or less controls it. Only rarely do I get acid reflux now, and this is usually when I clearly overeat. In other words, it is my fault if I have acid reflux now with omeprazole.

In my 20s on and off I had bloating. At 24 I had an endoscopy, and was almost 100% sure that they would find something bad. To my surprise, they said that everything was perfectly normal. That really baffled me. On and off again I still had bloating and random nausea. The day before I turned 29, I went to a gastroenterologist who asked me to take tests for an overgrowth of floral bacteria in the stomach, probably caused by excess omeprazole use or something. I got a positive result, and had to take around two months of antibiotics last summer. Right now I take 30 mg amitriptylene each night, as well as famotidine. The combination of the amitriptylene and omeprazole plus famotidine if needed means that I can more or less control the physical symptoms that really plagued me for much of my 20s. I can easily eat and drink anything as if I did not have GERD. Of course, not like a handful of whole jalapeño peppers or a wad of wasabi, but even people without GERD would not be able to eat that.

What remains, however, is the mental. I always carry a surgical facemask in my backpack, even when travelling, just in case I sit near someone with some airborne viral infection. In a few weeks I have to travel by plane, as well as late May. I am contemplating wearing the facemask just to avoid catching any viral infections.

An SSRI has really eased my emetophobia, probably because I developed rituals to counteract the overwhelming anxiety, I was feeling. E.g., hand washing. - In my case emetophobia seemed to be more related to OCD than a phobia.

I used to take pantoprazole, but stopped after 1 year. Now I treat my GERD by eating small meals regularly, keeping hydrated and avoiding certain foods. Getting my anxiety under control has helped as well. I also try not to suck my belly in. When I hold my belly in I get reflux.

This fear and my stomach are no longer ruling my life.