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Old 02-11-2020, 12:56 AM   #1
KarmaOG
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Lightbulb My Obsessive Phobia..

Death. Every day I think about you. I think about what you'll be like. That you will hurt, that I will be alive for 7 minutes even after the quickest form of death. I'll feel you coming, I'll know you. I'll know your colours, I'll know your smell, I'll know your taste. I was you before I was born. I will be you when it is time, again..

Where will I go..? Who will I know..? Will I be alone..?
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Old 02-11-2020, 02:56 PM   #2
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Smile Re: My Obsessive Phobia..

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Old 02-12-2020, 09:37 PM   #3
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Default Re: My Obsessive Phobia..

I have been thinking about death a lot recently since my hamster passed away a couple weeks ago. I have been thinking about how cruel it can be for some and in general. My hamster was destined since birth to only live about 2-3 years. He was such a wonderful pet and friend and I couldn't stop thinking how cruel it was that his life was so short. I was thinking this way until a friend had told me that to my hamster, his life felt so much longer than 2 years. My friend also expressed that death is not always selfish. My hamster was old and his oldness made his life not as fun as it used to be. By death taking my hamster away from me, it hurt me, but helped my hamster. Death is scary and non-avoidable, but not an enemy.
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Old 02-21-2020, 04:16 PM   #4
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Default Re: My Obsessive Phobia..

I think about death a lot too. It started when I was very young. I would worry about it as an adolescent but then tell myself ok it is far away so worry about it later. Now I am older and think about it more. Sometimes I feel like I cannot wait for it so as to be removed from the suffering of this world and hopefully in the realm of a loving God. But I have a daughter with autism so I have to stick around as long as possible.
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Old 02-21-2020, 05:39 PM   #5
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Default Re: My Obsessive Phobia..

I've always been very death oriented too, until my T suggested I was internalizing my family's feelings about and treatment of me.
Yup, I never thought about that before.
Is that part of what our obsessions are?
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Old 02-21-2020, 07:26 PM   #6
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Default Re: My Obsessive Phobia..

That is very interesting partyofone. I have OCD. I memory check a lot and have other compulsions to try to tame my thoughts. There are themes to my obsessions. They center around have I hurt someone or have I taken something that was not mine and with a broader theme that I am a bad person. I have not been treated badly by my family in a long time but that was an issue until I was around 25. But I am not sure why that would make one obsessed with death? Is it because you are in a situation so bad that you think of death?
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