Please tell me this is still only my anxiety!

This only happens when I am about to fall asleep.. or if I wake up in the middle of the night and try to go back to sleep. I will get these random thoughts.. but sometimes they dont sound like my voice.. I never remember what the thoughts are when I'm fully awake but when this does happen, it puts me right into a panic attack and I cant stop thinking about it. This morning I had the thought which was something like "I'm dissapointed" or "you disappoint me" or something like that (honestly I cant fully remember) and the other day my fiance and I got into a fight and I did say "I'm disappointed with you". So I dont know if it had to do with that? Like I said most of the time I cant even remember what the thought was though.. sometimes it will just be random things.. like "the pizza is in the barn" (mind you I dont have a barn). Some nights it's worse than others and last night was pretty rough.. but I always feel like when I wake up in the middle of the night it's like I'm waiting for my thoughts to happen, so its almost like I'm bringing them on.

But it freaks me out because i feel like the voice in my head should be mine and mine only.. My fiance says it's still only my anxiety but i cant help but freak out over this.. It never happens when I'm awake and I know it's just my thoughts (im not really "hearing" voices) but then why do they sound like different voices sometimes? I dont know if I'm just afraid that they sound like different voices or if it really is a different voice in my head 😕. I have a huge fear of developing schizophrenia so these experiences do not help.. I have told my psychiatrist and therapist about this and they do not seem concerned but I dont know.. I feel like this is not normal..

If anybody can give me some feedback on this it would be greatly appreciated! Really having a rough morning 😔

Dear Linz62982,

I wish I had insight into the situation you describe, but sadly I don't. I can see how you would be concerned and I think your feelings are totally understandable. Although I am not in your shoes, I feel certain that I would feel much as you do if what was happening to you happened to me.

Hopefully there are others here who have had similar experiences to yours and will respond to your post with helpful words. The human brain is so mysterious and takes us to so many surprising places, some welcome and some unwelcome.

I hope you will be okay! It is kind of you to share your experience so if others experience it, it will help them feel less isolated and alone with it.

Sincerely yours -- Yao Wen

It is the kind of thing that can happen when you are in that transitional state between waking and sleeping. The anxiety is related to not knowing "why" and not being able to remember. I find that it works best for me if I get up immediately and do some "regular" daily activity and let "it" go. (even just going to the bathroom, washing hands, having a drink of water and looking out the window) It is OK that you cannot recall or explain this.
It is not uncommon to hear a brief voice that is not your own, it may or may not be related to memories or current concerns---I know the desire to "capture" and "explain" what happens is strong (if I could just...) but it is usually a rabbit hole best avoided.

I've had this experience. Look up hypnagogic hallucinations. It is fairly common to hear voices as you are falling asleep. When I was a teenager, I would sometimes hear entire conversations as I was drifting off. I would not worry about it too much.

The way I deal with this is through pleasant white noise at bedtime. I play rain sounds and sometimes some very light, quiet music. As long as I have these pleasant sounds, I do not experience hypnagogic auditory hallucinations. Maybe it's something you could try, but just know that you are most likely just fine.

Thank you so much for all of your responses! This anxiety is so hard to deal with.. it is exhausting.. 😔

But I'm not sure if I'd say what I am experiencing is hypognoic hallucinations as I cant actually "hear" anything.. it's like my thoughts but they dont sound like my voice. But it only happens when I am about to fall asleep or fall back asleep (if I woke up for a short time to use the bathroom or whatnot). Its like I get these random thoughts that dont make sense.. but it's like I'm in between a dream state and being awake because they sound like a different voice in my head.. but as soon as I wake up fully I cant remember what my thought was but I realize what it is at that moment.. i think it's just my imagination at work but it is so scary because it really makes me feel like I'm going crazy.. like why would my thoughts sound like a different person? Or does it even sound like a different person or is it just my imagination? It's almost like being awake and dreaming.. because when I'm fully awake it doesn't happen.. it's only when I'm in between being asleep and awake.

Ugh I just wish this would go away 😔

I experience the same, and have told my primary care doc whom never explained or had an answer for me. I explained to my T that said maybe its my DID. But i truly do not feel it is and so i stopped talking about it. If feels different from DID. No one could explain or give reason for my exploding head syndrome, when you hear a loud noise as your drifting off to sleep or see lightning flashes. It tends to awaken me so i cant fall back asleep. Had to look that up and found its a kind of insomnia thing.
Th voices at night come and go.