All I can do is worry

My "pen-pal" for 5 years now's situation is getting worse. Incredibly unlucky won't even start to begin describing how things are for him, and he is starting to develop self harming behavior, and edging closer and closer to suicide, I tried doing stuff to help him before, as he has given up on helping himself, saying the world has proved that he doesn't deserve help and to "win", but his lack of luck shined bright yet again, and the attempts at helping him not be lonely and cope with his family failed, and now, his belief that he doesn't deserve help has been increased, and he stated clearly that he doesn't want me to help him anymore, I've only discovered this site recently, and I think have great potential to help him, but he wouldn't register himself and I haven't been receiving much attention as I barely have been posting and when I did, it might've been in the wrong places, in the wrong times I guess, but I am in a tough spot, he specifically ordered me not to seek for help, but he doesn't care if I vent or worry, and my worry is only rising with each day.
Is the world this cold and unmerciful? is he truly lost? how do I cope?

Thanks for sharing your concern for your friend. It does sound as though you've done what you can. And at this point, sadly, what will be will be. Being that your friend is a pen-pal. I presume the two of you live a ways apart which certainly makes being of any help even more difficult.

You mentioned you only discovered PC recently & haven't been receiving much attention perhaps due to posting in the wrong spot. Psych Central is a big website. And things can move quickly here. It can take a while to become known & to develop a "following", so to speak. From my perspective, at least, one has to keep posting their own threads. But more importantly, one has to reply to as many other members posts as possible (within one's areas of interest of course.)

Too often, I think, new members write a few posts, & when they don't receive the kind of attention they had hoped they would, they get discouraged & leave. But if a member just hangs in there & keeps on pluggin', as they say, over time they can & will become an integral member of the forums. Plus, of course, there are the chat rooms where one can interact with other members in real time. (I don't "chat" myself. So I don't have first-hand knowledge of that. But I presume frequenting the chat rooms would also be a good way of becoming known.) I would have to say though too that it seems to me, since the coronavirus situation developed, the forums seem more quiet... at least to me. I don't know if that's true or if it's just me. But that's my impression.

Anyway... I think that's about what I can say with regard to your post. Hopefully things will turn out better for your friend than you fear. But either way please take care of yourself as well. My best wishes to you.

strange..... I was just thinking that too

about the forums being quieter

and here I was thinking it would be the other way round. lol

welcome.

hope the forum helps