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AliceWinter
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Default May 18, 2020 at 05:38 PM
  #1
Hi, some background info: I'm in college, have social anxiety and depression and am currently seeing a 6th therapist. I have tried Zoloft, Celexa, Buspar, Lexapro and Abilify.

Whenever I see a therapist for social anxiety, they always ask me to explain what thoughts are going through my mind while I'm experiencing the symptoms. I tell them that I'm not actually thinking anything but they never accept that answer. Instead they ask again because they say that I MUST be thinking something... I haven't found anything on the internet about this either.

I think at some point in the past, I might have had some negative thought that maybe got stuck in my mind. However, usually anxiety just happens automatically as soon I enter a social situation, regardless of whether or not I had negative thoughts prior to it. It's not like I have thoughts in the form of words. I may just look at a group of people and feel anxious. Even when I don't have symptoms, whenever I go outside, I just feel really uncomfortable for no reason.
(Usually anxiety is less when I go out with someone I really trust)

I have already tried "realizing" that most people are not actively looking for reasons to judge me (sometimes I feel like it only takes a two-second look for them to judge me or form a negative opinion about me). I have tried distracting myself, thinking positive thoughts (this actually leaves me feeling mentally worn out), and exposing myself to the same social situations over and over.

No medication has helped so far but I'm trying other ways to alleviate anxiety (nutrition, exercise, improving social skills, etc.).

Can anyone relate, give advice or tell me anything about this? Thank you for reading, answers would be greatly appreciated!
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Default May 18, 2020 at 11:44 PM
  #2
There's always a reason why we're feeling uncomfortable. Maybe it's a deep rooted fear of rejection that showcases itself like an automatic switch.. at some point there were thoughts in your head that's made you feel this way today.

Maybe it's a sensory issue. Perhaps walking outdoors or into a social group, the volume increase is too much for you.. etc.

Why do you think you have social anxiety?
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Default May 19, 2020 at 10:31 AM
  #3
Hi @AliceWinter, and welcome to Psych Central.

I just wanted to say, I have a bad case of social anxiety as well, and what you've explained here, I relate to every word, including trying all kinds of med's and counseling to alleviate, and ideally remove, the symptoms. But unfortunately I have not been successful either.

I don't have any advice really because nothings solved the problem for me, but I will say, please don't resort to alcohol or drugs because you may end up creating yet another problem to fix. Also, the practice of mindfulness, although not a cure, can help you to maintain your focus during the trying times, which it has for me. Mindfulness. There's a lot of info on the internet about it, AliceWinter.
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Default May 19, 2020 at 05:04 PM
  #4
Yes. I think you're right. I've had anxiety since childhood and I can't pinpoint exactly where it started but I can think of some moments that reinforced some negative beliefs about myself. I've always been sensitive to any rejection and criticism or anything like that. Someone might have said something and I internalized it.

I do think I've experienced sensory overload (loud noise, crowds, too many things moving around, like cars), which does make me feel worse. But anxiety happens anywhere, even in a calmest setting. Mostly happens when I'm walking outside alone, when giving a presentation or when talking to people (esp. more than one person). When it happens, I start trembling, my face gets hot, my mind goes blank, feel like I'm about to cry.

It's difficult for me to prevent anxiety before anything social because I can be really optimistic sometimes and it still happens. It might be that I have to change a deep rooted fear.



Yes, it's been challenging to overcome. Thanks for your input.

Last edited by bluekoi; May 19, 2020 at 07:56 PM.. Reason: Merge two posts into one.
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Default May 26, 2020 at 05:15 PM
  #5
If you can’t notice your thoughts during an interaction because your anxiety is blocking it all. You could focus on the thoughts that pops into your mind before and after the interaction itself. So, you could provide with more information to your therapist.
Normally, they are very silly thoughts and kind of similar to the ones a kid has when he’s afraid of darkness because a monster can appear any moment. But, it’s important you identify them in order to recognise them as “noise” from your mind. Lies from your mind.

I can’t give you extraordinary bits. I would like it but I also have an extreme social anxiety and I’m afraid I didn’t improve a lot myself in this sense.

What mote.of.soul says is a great idea. Mindfulness helps to accept yourself as you are, no matter if you are more or less lucky in a social interaction. So, it teaches you to be less hard on yourself.

Out of that, I think you are doing well by working on social skills...I don’t know if you are doing some kind of social progressive exposure therapy, too? I congratulate you, because you are doing things.

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Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
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