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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,331
6 5,648 hugs
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#1
I was caretakers for my parents for a long time but they got to the point where they required more care than I was able to give. So my sister gave me the shock of my life saying I had one week to leave the house. So for a few weeks I’ve been living in my car, bouncing around California, trying to find an acceptable place to be homeless, but I give up trying to find that place. I thought I was strong enough to do it but I keep getting these waves of panic with no desire to live, but I’ve learned that dying is harder than I thought because of the religion my parents raised me. I see so many happy people, happy couples, people with a lot of money, fancy cars. It makes me feel hopeless, stressed out. At this point all I want is a job and an appointment. How do you find the will to live and the energy to fight for your life?
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#2
I'm sorry I don't think I have any useful answers for you. But I wanted to leave a brief reply letting you know I read your post & wishing you the best.
About the only thing I can say is that I've made 2 major attempts on my life in the past. And the idea still rattles around in my brain daily. In my case, I keep telling myself another attempt simply is not an option. And I make myself keep doing what needs to be done. That's it. There used to be a poster that showed (a cat I think it was) hanging by one paw at the end of a rope. And the caption read something like: "If you find yourself at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." That's about where circumstances are at for me. I hope you will be able to find the resources you need to carry on. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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stahrgeyzer, zapatoes
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stahrgeyzer
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
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#3
Though some towns have programs for the homeless, I do understand how hard it is to find the acceptable places to be homeless that don't have dangerous people. Wish I could say something more encouraging but what is happening to you would be hard for even the strongest person. You can get through this. I do think that looking for a job is the key. Sometimes you can get a gym membership to help get cleaned up. I will be praying for you everyday. What you need is a lucky break. Thank you for posting this--there are so many people in America who are homeless and our country needs to do more to help. Please hang in there--though it may seem hopeless, you will likely not be homeless forever. |
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stahrgeyzer, zapatoes
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stahrgeyzer
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Member
Member Since Jul 2020
Location: GTA
Posts: 119
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#4
I don't like your sister for pushing you out like that. It's hard watching the world going around you like they don't have problems too, but I know that is not true. Please don't do anything drastic. Things can turn around for you.
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stahrgeyzer, zapatoes
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stahrgeyzer
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,331
6 5,648 hugs
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#5
Thanks for the comments. I know there are a lot of people going through difficult periods in their life like being homeless. We are not alone. It’s a lot easier taking difficult journeys with others. One of the most difficult things in my life, if not the most, is loneliness and feeling like you’re and undesirable outsider, almost like you’re a different species. It’s so wonderful there are places like PC.
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TunedOut, zapatoes
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
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#6
Quote:
Peter Gabriel - Don't Give Up (ft. Kate Bush) - YouTube |
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stahrgeyzer, zapatoes
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stahrgeyzer
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,331
6 5,648 hugs
given |
#7
Thanks tuned out. I’ll listen to the music video as soon as possible. Right now I’m out in the forest and found a cell phone hotspot, one bar, just barely enough to load this webpage.
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TunedOut, zapatoes
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#8
Quote:
By knowing that feeling hopeless does not mean the situation IS hopeless. When you have mental health challenges your brain doesn't allow you to think clearly. I try very hard to remember that. I'm sorry about your situation, but you do have options. They may not be obvious at the moment, but they are there. I hope things get better for you soon. |
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zapatoes
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since May 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 1,523
4 6,984 hugs
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#9
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