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Litbyfireflies
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Default Aug 09, 2020 at 12:10 PM
  #1
Hi, I would like feedback on something that commonly happens to me, to see how I can do better or help me feel resolve for my ways. After spontaneous social interaction, I often feel I have seriously offended someone or made a fool of myself.
I'm a happy, satisfied person, and introverted. I just like being happy and quiet.

Example 1.
I'm in a doctor's waiting room, reading. Someone I've never seen before comes into the room and says"I can't believe how red your face is!" I close the book, look at them, smile and say very nicely "yesterday I spent the day at the beach". Pause, I'm open to whatever they might say, smiling politely with eye contact.
She repeats herself I can't believe how red your face is!" And I just kind of giggle politely. Pause, still smiling and open to whatever she is getting at.
Then she says "I'm surprised the rest of you isn't red too" and I look to my sunburned arm and say with a little laugh "my arms are red, too", still smiling and open to the connection.
Then she repeats herself again "I can't believe how red your face is" and I smile sincerely again and say "I think being in the water intensifies the sunburn potential".
She is visibly frustrated and says "see you later" and goes to leave, and I smile and say very friendly, "bye".

This happens so often that I feel there is something wrong with me, that I'm a sociopath or something. I would like to know if what I did is generally accepted as socially acceptable, or am I way off track?
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Thanks for this!
Skeezyks

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Smile Aug 10, 2020 at 10:30 AM
  #2
Hello Litbyfireflies: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central.

Thank you for sharing your concern. I'm not a mental health professional, however I do believe I can assure you you're not a sociopath. In the situation you describe in your post, this person you encountered sounds to me like a very nosy intrusive individual who has no sense of propriety nor any respect for personal boundaries. I don't think this had anything to do with any shortcomings on your part. In fact, it seems to me you handled the interaction quite gently & with great tolerance. Another person, in your position, might well have just told this "nosy Nellie" to get lost... or something far worse.

As you mentioned, you're an introvert. It's possible I suppose you could experience a touch of social anxiety as well... just a guess, of course. I don't really know. The other thing that may be a possibility here is that you are what is referred to as a Highly Sensitive Person. Here's a link to an article, from Psych Central's, on the subject of social anxiety along with links to 5 articles on the subject of the highly sensitive person:

Anxiety Disorders: Symptoms, Types & Treatments | Psych Central

Understanding a Highly Sensitive Person : What is an HSP?

What Makes a Highly Sensitive Person?

10 Tips for Highly Sensitive People

More Coping Tips for Highly Sensitive People

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-gift...dium=popular17

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.

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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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Litbyfireflies
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Default Aug 28, 2020 at 07:47 AM
  #3
Thank you so much for your insight. It is very comforting to hear what you told me. I spent some time looking at the links about sensitivity and had some additional thoughts.

Considering how often I am very confused by social interaction, I have had slight fear about herd mentality, a paranoia about people uniting in hatred against me. I keep it under control by remaining mindful of my peaceful intentions and gentle, kind demeanor. But living in a small town, I wonder if all the frustration I see in people's face and body language adds up over time.

I would love to know how I can use my lack of social understanding as a gift. If there is a resource there that can help me thrive instead of ...well...not thrive.
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