gow do i stop obeying narcisissts

i have an issue when a nacissist threatens me to get their way i give them what they want so they dont hurt me for example i dated a woman named lilith and she wanted her way all the time she was a narcissist when she wanted something and i said know she acted pretty violent to get her way she was so sacry that i always gave her her way cause i was terrified of her anyways how do i stop giving narcissits their way cause im tired of re inventing myself and comprimisimg my life for them out of faer

Dear devinegirl43,

I am sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine how awful it must be. I was helped a lot by seeing a psychotherapist. Sometimes it takes a lot of time to learn coping skills. A psychotherapist can often not only be there for you through the process but also offer you things to try. Sometimes it can help to aim at progress rather than achievement. What I mean is that it is hard to go from not having ways of dealing with a situation and then having 100% control over it. Sometimes we have to go slowly and step by step. In dealing with narcissism one can aim to improve things 1% one day and then strive to improve things 2% another day and so on. Sometimes one has to take baby steps. There are often setbacks. This can be difficult to do on one's own although there are self-help books available that often prove helpful. A therapist can sort of be there for a person as they navigate this process. Maybe you are already doing this. I don't know the whole story. In any case, I do hope you find solutions that are really helpful to you. So sorry I don't have the experience, knowledge and insight to be helpful to you. You deserve a life where you can have some peace of mind and joy of living!

Sincerely yours, Yao Wen

By setting boundaries!
Sound simple but also for me it’s very new
First of all you need to feel where’s your boundarie, means What meets your personal values.
For me this is already a small challenge , since I’m hearing more than a decade from my husband that my family it third class , that I “grew up with out parents, so how can I possibly teach anything to my children “ etc..
I’ve allowed him saying that such a long time it’s almost unbelievable
I don’t claim I come from a royal family but that’s not the point!
He cannot insult my family! ( out of his frustration for other things..)

The easiest thing of course would be to ditch the narcissist(s). They're not going to change. Sure, you can learn ways to set boundaries, and that's a great skill to have in dealing with anyone, but even if you get good at it, would you even really want to be around such a horrid person? You speak in the past, so I'm not really sure what tense to use, but you get the gist.

The other thing I have found from personal experience is that there is a lot of manipulation, and if you fend them off one way, they simply move to another manipulative tactic from their bag of tricks.

Are you free of this woman you mention? I worry for your safety.

*********
Mr. Robot

Makes me sick to the heart, Oh I feel so tired. And the way the rain comes down hard, that's how I feel inside.

--The Cure

Therapy and cutting off all contact with said person.