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Old 10-16-2020, 12:46 PM   #1
Deilla
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Default Afraid to leave the house

I have an appointment tomorrow morning for my cat with the vet. I'm terrified of leaving the house to take her. I asked my mom if she would help me out. But my mom was so concerned about waiting on the vet that she said she will go shop while she waits. I said that's not a good idea cause the vet only takes 10 minutes. I was concerned my mom would be gone once the vet was done with the appointment. So I said, thanks, but no thanks. How irresponsible is that? To not wait 10 minutes for an exam. I don't need that kind of help.

So now I'm back to square one. I will have to force myself to do this. If I can shower today, that is half the battle. Being ready and presentable helps motivate me to go. I may do some meditation to help calm myself.
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Old 10-16-2020, 04:25 PM   #2
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

HI Deilla! Yes, shower today, you'll be all ready to go. Are u going to the appt alone, then? Or u could tell your mom to only shop for a very short amount of time. Oh, u for sure know for sure its only a 10 minute quick appt? Your mom just doesn't want to be stuck waiting, in case there's a hold up with scheduled appointments. U can do this, Deilla! 🙌 EDIT, were u going to go with your mom to vet appt & she was just dropping u off, there?
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Old 10-16-2020, 05:04 PM   #3
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

Hi! It's a drive up service becaue of covid 19. My plan was to have my mom drop the cat off and wait. The last 2 times I went there, I only waited 10 minutes. I was just afraid she would be gone and the vet would be waiting on her. I didn't want that to happen.

Thank you so much for your support. I was able to get dressed today. I feel a lot better. Tomorrow I just finish dressing, put my cat in the carrier and go. So I think I can do it. It's a Saturday morning so there will be no traffic. It's a short distance from my house so that is comforting. I don't mind waiting on the vet. This is a good place. I know they'll do their best.
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Old 10-17-2020, 04:32 AM   #4
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

I panicked this morning and rescheduled the vet appointment. I just had too much fear. It's set for next week. I picked a good time with no traffic. And waiting a little bit will allow me to do something about my anxieties. I have a fear of showers, getting dressed, driving and being away from the house. I'm also afraid to get my cat in the carrier. I am just afraid. I fear things will be too difficult and I'll have a meltdown. I'll be so bad off, I won't be able to survive. I know it doesn't really make sense. But I've been working on this for a couple of years. And no one has been able to help me. One therapist encouraged my avoidance. She always said do what you feel comfortable doing. Now it's to the point where I can't function normally. Does anyone have some books they could suggest?
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Old 10-17-2020, 12:58 PM   #5
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

David Burns just released a new book, Feeling Great. There are some sections related to extreme anxiety that may be helpful. He would encourage exposure over avoidance.


I found that I really had to take my time with the book, even though I was already familiar with CBT and cognitive distortions, but the methods do seem to work. Like I haven't worked in a while and would get really stressed out/sick at the thought of just looking at job ads, to the point where I couldn't do it. I applied his TEAM-CBT to the problem and can look at the ads. I don't even really understand why it worked as well as it did. He has a podcast where he talks about this stuff, too.
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Old 10-17-2020, 03:06 PM   #6
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HI again, Deilla! Aww, I wish I could be there to help u. I won't shower because I severely neglect myself. Like a form of self harm. U should be proud of yourself, u have your drivers license. I lost mine due to my severe alcoholism (more self harm). But I'm sober now a long time, but my mental illness got worse. What is lighting a fire under me now, is being angry at myself for burying myself in a hole due to alcohol abuse. So I want to start fixing the mess I created. I also have issues with anxiety & feeling panicked. And feeling overwhelmed. Take your to do list a small step at a time. U can do everything, I believe in you! U are already doing a good job..taking care of your pet. Look at every tiny step as a simple task. U can do it. Do u live alone? Do u have any friends who could sit passenger, while u drive to vet? I don't have any friends or family where I live. I like CBT, mentioned by the other member here. I want to get DBT books, next. Let us know how you're doing. U can accomplish what u set your mind to do, Deilla!!
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Old 10-17-2020, 03:33 PM   #7
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

What is the real killer, is FEAR. Irrational fears hinder our progress. I also suffer with this crap. U can do this Deilla. Do u enjoy a shower once u get in? I don't want to pry, about why u fear showers & dressing. I literally force myself to take a shower. Ultimately, its a simple, basic task. So is dressing & putting cat in carrier. Force yourself to do it, Deilla. Also, do u sometimes enjoy driving? I used to, actually! Look up online about...irrational fears & how fear hinders our happiness in life. I will do the same & read more. Let's do this thing 😘
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Old 10-17-2020, 04:23 PM   #8
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

The shower scares me cause I get really bad back pain from standing up. Once it's done I feel better and I've tried tricks to make it easier, but now I'm just too scared to try. So I wash up at the sink in short intervals. I'm overweight and it's a lot of energy to put clothes on, brush my teeth and get presentable. It's my fault for not taking better care of myself. I don't understand the driving fear. I used to ride a motorcycle all by myself across country when I was younger. Even drove it in San Francisco to and from work. I don't know what happened to that person. Can anyone relate?

Yea, I like to look up on wikihow on how to deal with things. It's helpful. Thanks for the responses and the book suggestion. I will have to look that up.
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Old 10-17-2020, 04:40 PM   #9
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

Buy a shower chair, then u can sit down when your back hurts. That would become a chore, washing up at sink..cuz a shower's faster. I notice when something becomes a chore, I'll stop doing the necessary task. So you can easily conquer the irrational driving fear. U still ARE that same person who likes riding motorcycles! U are a skilled driver! U can do this! Put cat in carrier & take him/her for a short ride in your car. U GOT THIS! Tell yourself u are fearless & remember being happy/free/independent riding your motorcycle!! I wish I even had the skills needed to ride my own motorcycle! We are still the same people, deep inside! We just got distracted & slowed down by the depression, is all. I want desperately to fix my own life, too. We can do this...
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Old 10-18-2020, 12:31 AM   #10
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Default Re: Afraid to leave the house

Quote:
Originally Posted by shovelhead View Post
Buy a shower chair, then u can sit down when your back hurts. That would become a chore, washing up at sink..cuz a shower's faster. I notice when something becomes a chore, I'll stop doing the necessary task. So you can easily conquer the irrational driving fear. U still ARE that same person who likes riding motorcycles! U are a skilled driver! U can do this! Put cat in carrier & take him/her for a short ride in your car. U GOT THIS! Tell yourself u are fearless & remember being happy/free/independent riding your motorcycle!! I wish I even had the skills needed to ride my own motorcycle! We are still the same people, deep inside! We just got distracted & slowed down by the depression, is all. I want desperately to fix my own life, too. We can do this...
Thank you! So you have a bike too? I wonder cause isn't your user name motorcycle-related? Isn't that a type of Indian motorcycle? Yea, I love riding bikes. I want a trike. If I ever get brave again, that's what I want. I'm thinking the Spyder Can Am. I wish you well too! We can do this!
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