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Old 12-15-2018, 10:30 PM #1
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Confused Can This Signify An Attachment Disorder

Clearly, there is little information available regarding attachment disorders. I cannot find the information for which I am looking in the DSM, and I know that's because it isn't in there.

Is there an attachment disorder that relates to a adult (male) overly "attached" to his mother in the sense that his wife must be exactly the same as his mother? He lived with her until his mid 20's and mentioned laying his head in her lap and her tickling his back (which I found weird at that age). Anytime he and I have issues, he runs to his parent's house, and has no problem disclosing our relationship issues, although he certainly points all blame to me and makes himself seem innocent. His mom can't seem to not treat him like a child. He expects me to be equally submissive (she didn't work and her husband is a preacher) and also equally attentive to the children (again, she didn't work, and her husband was emotionally absent).
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Old 12-16-2018, 06:30 PM #2
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Hello kcgw: I noticed this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral.

I'm not a mental health professional & I don't know much about attachment disorders. Hopefully there will be other members, here on PC, who will have some knowledge they can share. In the meantime, however, here are links to 9 articles, from PsychCentral's archives, on the subject of attachment disorders:

What Is Attachment and Why Is It Important?

How to Change Your Attachment Style

What Is an Anxious Attachment Style and How Can I Change It? | Happily Imperfect

Avoidant Personality Disorder

16 Signs of an Avoidant or Unavailable Partner | Love Matters

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-step...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/podcas...ment-disorder/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psych...ed-attachment/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.
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Old 12-17-2018, 01:29 AM #3
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Default Re: Can This Signify An Attachment Disorder

Hi KCGW56.

There is TONNES of information out there on attachment disorders, but I wonder if you're maybe looking for the wrong information?

Regression is not an uncommon coping mechanism for adults when faced with stress or conflict. It's not necessarily a healthy option, but it is an option.

Have you talked to your husband about his behaviours? They are not likely to go away without professional help which may include couple's counselling as well.

I hope you can find some support and info to work through this.
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Old 12-17-2018, 03:25 AM #4
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I'm so sorry you're struggling, kcgw56 The only way to know for sure is to see a doctor and get a proper diagnosis. Have you talked to your husband about this? I feel like that's important. Remember that he's the one who has to decide whether to get help or not. You can only do so much to help. If he doesn't, I'm afraid you may want to reconsider this relationship. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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Old 12-22-2018, 03:05 PM #5
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Let me be as gentle and as kind as I can while also being direct...I don't know how if it's possible to be any more gentle than the following: if you don't already have children, don't have any, and if you already do, don't have any more.



People with issues can ONLY pass them on...do not try to have a family concurrent with getting help for someone like this.


Again, let me apologize for being blunt, but coming from the background I come from I feel it's imperative to make the statement I did.


People only rarely change, and that's only if they want to, and even then it's a life-long endeavor---and usually not 100% successful.


Sorry!
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Old 12-22-2018, 03:22 PM #6
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I agree with you to a small degree. Our world is overpopulated and majority of people raising children are misguided and unwilling to make changes needed from mistakes made in previous generations. That or they are ill informed. Most can't or won't 'change', grow or mature, because they believe they can't or don't know how. My belief is that we are all blooming beings bouncing around each other, reflective of those who we surround ourselves with
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