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Old 02-23-2019, 10:08 AM   #1
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Default Good enough dad

T seems to want to be “good enough dad” to me. Not in the let’s bring on and encourage tons of transference way just in the “I’m here unconditionally” way. Thankfully he started out with a lot of transference from the one person in life I have come closest to truly trusting. Now though I am knowing him better and he is living up to it. I think he spotted the attachment disorder in the first session (along with a boatload of other things). He doesn’t scare me as much as most people but he is very sensitive, empathic and intentional with me. You can see how proud (?) he is no matter how small a step I take “towards” him. But, not being scared of him and not being able to push him away (because of what happened with the person he got the positive transference from) I am feeling scared of me.
Next session I told him I would tell him some of the things I have been withholding after he called me out on it last week (very gently and respectfully with no pressure to do anything, more of a letting me know that he knew and it worried him.) I know they are not as “big” as what he is expecting with me (I find the big stuff easier to share not harder) but as our session grows closer I am getting more scared. I know, without a doubt that he will not judge me and will not push me away... that would be easier, I know how to deal with those. I know he knows better than to be too kind or supportive with me (throws me into a blind panic) but I have no clue what to expect from either of us to be honest.
There’s been many a crooked path
that has landed me here
Tired, broken and wearing rags
Wild eyed with fear
-Blackmoores Night
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:20 AM   #2
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Default Re: Good enough dad

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, Omers I understand your fears. If you're so concerned, I'd suggest to talk to him about this and see how it goes from there. Hopefully he will be able to help you. He seems like a good therapist, so surely he will know what to do to avoid attachment or transference. Just be honest with him about this. Tell him that you're afraid to get too close to him. Don't worry, I don't think you'll be offensive by saying this. It happens to a lot of people that go to a therapist. Hopefully he will be able to deal with it. I'm glad you've found a good therapist for you. They're not easy to find! Remember that we're here for you. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this
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