Thoughts on my attachment issues? - Forums at Psych Central



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Old 03-31-2019, 03:15 PM #1
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Cool Thoughts on my attachment issues?

I guess you could say I live by two extremes. It doesnít seem to be something I can control right now.

My main issue with my is that I have a lot of trouble with attachments and commitment. I donít mind having acquaintances, but I feel like running when people try getting closer to me.

I end up having a dilemma where I am lonely, but I like keeping people at arms length as well. I get really uncomfortable and anxious when I have obligation to people. Itís such a bad and intense feeling that I donít feel like itís wortb it to even try to form relationships anymore.

I am not very good at interacting with people in general. I love the IDEA of close relationships, but the process of making a close friend is what I donít enjoy.

I enjoy being around people, but want to be left alone.

I also have a problem where I become extremely obsessed with people I become interested in. Also, in the past when I have had close friends I have always felt very protective and territorial. I donít like sharing people. Iím not verbally hostile anymore, but i used to be.

The odd thing is that even with people I like a lot I still feel like I need to keep them at arms length. Itís like I simultaneously try to get closer and farther at the same time. So, even though with people I really like I form obsessive attachments I donít really react on that obsession.

Itís really weird being me.
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Old 04-01-2019, 10:21 AM #2
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Default Re: Thoughts on my attachment issues?

I'm so sorry you're hurting so much, Veritastar I understand what you mean. It must be very hard for you! Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help! You could learn new ways to cope with your feelings! I feel like that may really help you! Please do consider it if you can! I hope things will get better soon for you! You deserve to get better and to feel good! You deserve to live an happy life just like everyone else does! I hope things will get better in your relationships with others! You deserve to build meaningful relationships with other people! Please don't give up hope! Try to hang on as much as you can! Believe in yourself the same way we all believe in you! Remember that we're here for you if you need it! Feel free to PM me anytime! Let me know if I can do something to help you! Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you, Veritastar! You're a strong, wonderful person! Keep fighting! Remember that you're an awesome, strong warrior! Please remember that! We all know it's true and I'm sure you know it as well, even if it's deep down!
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Old 04-17-2019, 07:53 PM #3
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Default Re: Thoughts on my attachment issues?

I don't know you but I feel like maybe you're afraid of what's going to happen if you do open up to people. You're afraid that you're going to become obsessed with this person, and invest tons of time and emotions into them, and then that will push them away, and then you'll be left on your own filled with regret. It's important to learn how to find a balance in communication.

It's also normal for you to be reserved when first meeting people and wanting to keep them at arms length. However, over time in a relationship, you slowly build trust with each other. For you, it just takes a little longer for you to build it, and that's perfectly fine. When you do meet somebody that you feel comfortable with, you have to be aware of your feelings and catch yourself before you become too obsessed. You don't need to worship the ground they walk on just because they're nice to you. Remember that this person is a normal human being, not the reincarnation of Jesus.
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