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Old 12-24-2019, 07:57 PM   #1
giddykitty
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Default Addicted to ex friends and celebrities

Hi there! Didn't even know this particular subforum existed until today! Well, I've been having a lot of problems with attachments over the years. Currently, I'm obsessing about some celebrities, some "celebrities" (popular folks in groups), as well as ex friends.
The ex friends is the most concerning since it's men that I can't always get out of my head. One in particular who really hurt me who like just stopped talking to me because I was weird (or he wasn't interested in more than the physical). Then another one or two, come to thi k of it, left me because I was "weird". I don't seem to want to accept this. They SHOULD love me and be my friend! Well, that's what my irrational mind thinks. Anyway,

So I've come to rely on celebrity addictions. At least they won't truly hurt me because they don't know me!

The "celebrity" folks are the worst though because they get the attention of actual celebrities sometimes and or at least have lots and lots of friends and followers. Maybe it's because I'm opinionated and more picky with my friends...but even when I hide that, why do folks still ignore me?? I'm kinda rambling. I just wanted to make a post saying that I tend to dwell or attach myself to people, even if it isn't good for me and I want comforting I guess?

Thanks for reading!
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Old 12-24-2019, 08:07 PM   #2
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Default Re: Addicted to ex friends and celebrities

Just want to add, after reading some of the suggested material on the subject, what I'm describing here is obsession. However, with the friends, when they were friends, there was an attachment component and/or I've had other relationships (ie with my therapist) where I cozy up to them because they are nice and caring to me, but that didn't necessarily fix my attachment issues. Just trying to clear that up!
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Old 03-20-2020, 03:58 AM   #3
MarinaManea2
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Talking Re: Addicted to ex friends and celebrities

Iím definitely not an expert and am not well rehearsed in giving advice for attachment but I definitely have the same sort of feeling about ex friends. What makes it worse is when people remind me of them and I canít help but think about/ obsess over it. Sometimes it makes me want to go back, and I have gone back in hopes that things will be the same and they would treat me better but if anything I am now just recently realizing that these people were toxic for me and it is so much better to never be involved with them ever again even if they had hurt me in the past despite trusting them, their actions are a reflection on tjem. Again once you realize this is will be so uplifting, I know it was for me and it took me about five years to realize that these people were horrible to me and that Iím actually pretty cool so it was their loss.
Here are some videos I recently found helpful on realizing who is toxic and who should not be in your life; which was randomly recommended to me. Must be a sign huh? Lol
youtube:
Life lessons: my toxic (ex) best friend
10 signs of a toxic friendship

Again these are only a few, but there are a lot of useful videos on this and it helped me cope/ bring rationality to these people behaviors. Not everyone is going to be good for you, but that shouldnít bring you down. There are plenty of people out there who ARE good for you!
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Old 03-20-2020, 08:05 PM   #4
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Default Re: Addicted to ex friends and celebrities

Thank you @MarinaManea2 It's been awhile since i made this post (oh...not really actually). Well, I'm mostly over the ex friends stuff, but like you said, people remind me of them and then I start obsessing again for a bit. But yes, I have rationalized it too that they were toxic for me. Still sucks though because they were good to me at one point and it makes me fear new relationships that seem to be going really well...like it HAS to be too good to be true! But, I'm still on the gullible side (or just optimistic side) that these folks genuinely like me and it will work out. Like you said, there have to be people who ARE good for me (for us!)
Best wishes to you!
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Old 03-22-2020, 03:27 AM   #5
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Default Re: Addicted to ex friends and celebrities

What actions do you take with these ex friends ?
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Old 03-22-2020, 12:52 PM   #6
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Default Re: Addicted to ex friends and celebrities

Hmm @sarahsweets that's actually a good question. I mean I'm not really sure exactly where my headspace was when I first made this thread and maybe I'm misunderstanding your question a little too, but I'm not really taking any actions except thinking and then trying to phase out the the thoughts. Maybe the occasional Google search, but no real actions but what's in my thoughts and memories...do you mean actions with new relationships maybe?? I'm actually very skeptic and/or have trust issues, but then again, I've met a lot of folks after the fact that I can rely on and I can get a pretty decent sense of character with new people I meet, but again, there is still always a small amount of doubt there because you just never know what might trigger a person...and I have my own triggers too, so I just fear relationships but I also love them too. I know, it may sound confusing to you. But maybe not.
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