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Old 05-15-2020, 01:54 PM   #1
shabur
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Location: Illinois
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Default Fearful of friendships

I have only a few friends because I worry that others who could be friends wonít reciprocate.
I do have a best friend, who I have known for over 30 years, but the few friends Iíve made seem to be good friendships, but I seem to be the one reaching out. I do understand they are working and have their families to care for. I just wish they would be the first.
I hesitate to bring it up with them because I fear their response will be they donít have time for me. I wouldnít be able to cope with their rejection.
I did have a close friend, who was also my yoga teacher. We became fast friends. She knew about my MH issues and was so supportive even telling me of her own experiences. She would come over for dinner with my sister and her wife and we had so much fun. We emailed and called each other frequently.u
I began to notice that she wasnít engaging after yoga class as we had done before. I sent her an email asking about this and her response was that she didnít want to continue our friendship. I was so hurt I sent her a ďnot so niceĒ email asking why and why she didnít bring it up earlier. I also blamed it on me. She called and her response to my why was ďI donít need to tell you.Ē The call got heated, but at the end she said she would still like to see me in her class. I didnít, i couldnít. Being in her yoga class would not accomplish what I needed.
Now I fear the newer friendships Iíve made. I know one works long hours and has 2 young children. She also works long hours, but we were able to have dinner once month until the pandemic.
I donít know if itís my approach, my conversation, ...
Any thoughts?
I put so much trust in her and we got along so well. I fear this happening again. Now, I donít tell anyone unless I REALLY trust them.
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Old 05-25-2020, 04:38 AM   #2
the walls
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Default Re: Fearful of friendships

i feel the same with my relationships. sorry this happened to you.
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