The feeling of falling out of love after the hyper focused courtship - Forums at Psych Central



advertisement
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-24-2018, 07:43 PM #1
Adhdinlove Adhdinlove is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
Adhdinlove Adhdinlove is offline
New Member
Adhdinlove has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2

Default The feeling of falling out of love after the hyper focused courtship

I am new to writing in a forum but I am seeking help with my ex-boyfriend who has ADHD. We fell fast and hard which now after much research, I realize seems to be the norm with those who have ADHD. He was very quickly the man of my dreams and I am very much in love with him. Recently he suddenly ended things saying he just wasnít ďin loveĒ with me. He says he loves me, he loves our time together and we have so much in common and wonderful physical chemistry. He says I did nothing wrong and heís had this happen before but he canít explain why. As you can imagine this came as a huge shock and Iíve been searching for answers, answers I didnít think I would find until I started to research ADHD and relationships. The hyper focus courtship describes our relationship on the nose. I guess my question is this, could he still be in love and just not realize it is the ADHD that has made him feel out of love. Has anyone had experience with this and with communication were you able to get that feeling of love back? I am very understanding and patient and realize it is not me but the symptoms that may be causing this. How do I move forward? Do I talk to him about it? He manages his ADHD in terms of work and life very well but I donít think heís focused on how it has affected his relationships. There is just too much good in our relationship to just give up
Adhdinlove is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:

advertisement
Old 11-25-2018, 05:09 AM #2
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,445
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,445 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
30.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: The feeling of falling out of love after the hyper focused courtship

((((Adhdinlove)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. The only way to know for sure if he has ADHD or not is to convince him to get a proper diagnosis... the problem is, you can't force him. He has to decide whether he wants it or not. As far you know, he may have already have a diagnosis. So what you can do is just suggest him, but the final decision is up to him. It's possible that he may just decide to end the relationship for good. In that case, I suppose you'll just have to move on... I'm really sorry
MickeyCheeky is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 11-25-2018, 12:27 PM #3
Adhdinlove Adhdinlove is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
Adhdinlove Adhdinlove is offline
New Member
Adhdinlove has no updates.
 
Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2

Default Re: The feeling of falling out of love after the hyper focused courtship

Thank you for your reply. He does have a diagnosis of ADHD and has found ways to manage it in his professional life. I guess I need to have the discussion of whether or not he has looked into how it affects his relationships. I guess Iím just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and how to approach his feelings of falling out of love. He says everything else in the relationship is great all the boxes are ticked except that one.
Thanks again.
Adhdinlove is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
"Thanks for this!" says:
Old 11-26-2018, 08:14 AM #4
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,445
MickeyCheeky MickeyCheeky is online now
Wise Elder
MickeyCheeky's Avatar
MickeyCheeky My echo is the only voice coming back
 
Member Since: Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 9,445 (SuperPoster!)

2 yr Member
30.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Re: The feeling of falling out of love after the hyper focused courtship

((((Adhdinlove)))) Talking to him is an excellent idea. Let us know how it goes
MickeyCheeky is online now   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Old 12-14-2018, 02:51 PM #5
sallegra sallegra is offline
New Member
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: Florida
Posts: 2
sallegra sallegra is offline
New Member
sallegra has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: Florida
Posts: 2

Default Re: The feeling of falling out of love after the hyper focused courtship

Im sorry your going through this. I hope people can learn from this post. I have had ADHD since I was around 5. Iíve been on medicine for it and itís not the solution.Iím 38 years old and I have 3 kids with 3 different women. I was married for 6years and Iíve been with my youngest sons mother on and off for 14 years. Theirs times when I feel like Iím in love and then theirs times I want to be we someone else. Iíve put so many women through heart aches because of this disease. I want you to know My kids mothers would tell you that Iím the best father they know. My kids always come before anyone. Im telling you this so, you can understand some of the actions that can happen from this disease. Iíve been divorced for ten years and my ex is still waiting for me. I wish I didnít hurt anybody. I feel so bad about the destruction Iíve caused in everyoneís life.I wish that I didnít feel this way. Iíve had 3 different doctors tell me the exact same thing that, to just stay were Iím at and deal with it. If I could give you any advice, itís better that you move on. You donít want to be with someone that will puts you through this type of life. How do you picture your life with kids and a husband? Do you want your kids to have to watch their dad be depressed because he feels trapped? Do you want your kids to have to grow up in an unstable environment? Please, really think about it. There is billions of people in this world. Theirs no reason you canít find someone else and feel even more in love with someone else. We all have choices in life. Our choices dictates how our lives turn out. Please take care.
sallegra is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
Hugs from:
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:44 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

advertisement

Psych Central Forums

Psych Central is the leading mental health website, overseen by mental health professionals since 1995.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. .

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.
Please read the full disclaimer.