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Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
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#1
I am new to writing in a forum but I am seeking help with my ex-boyfriend who has ADHD. We fell fast and hard which now after much research, I realize seems to be the norm with those who have ADHD. He was very quickly the man of my dreams and I am very much in love with him. Recently he suddenly ended things saying he just wasn’t “in love” with me. He says he loves me, he loves our time together and we have so much in common and wonderful physical chemistry. He says I did nothing wrong and he’s had this happen before but he can’t explain why. As you can imagine this came as a huge shock and I’ve been searching for answers, answers I didn’t think I would find until I started to research ADHD and relationships. The hyper focus courtship describes our relationship on the nose. I guess my question is this, could he still be in love and just not realize it is the ADHD that has made him feel out of love. Has anyone had experience with this and with communication were you able to get that feeling of love back? I am very understanding and patient and realize it is not me but the symptoms that may be causing this. How do I move forward? Do I talk to him about it? He manages his ADHD in terms of work and life very well but I don’t think he’s focused on how it has affected his relationships. There is just too much good in our relationship to just give up
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beauflow, MickeyCheeky
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Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
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#2
((((Adhdinlove)))) I'm sorry you're struggling. The only way to know for sure if he has ADHD or not is to convince him to get a proper diagnosis... the problem is, you can't force him. He has to decide whether he wants it or not. As far you know, he may have already have a diagnosis. So what you can do is just suggest him, but the final decision is up to him. It's possible that he may just decide to end the relationship for good. In that case, I suppose you'll just have to move on... I'm really sorry
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New Member
Member Since Nov 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 2
5 |
#3
Thank you for your reply. He does have a diagnosis of ADHD and has found ways to manage it in his professional life. I guess I need to have the discussion of whether or not he has looked into how it affects his relationships. I guess I’m just wondering if anyone else has gone through this and how to approach his feelings of falling out of love. He says everything else in the relationship is great all the boxes are ticked except that one.
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MickeyCheeky
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MickeyCheeky
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Legendary
Member Since Jun 2016
Location: Italy
Posts: 11,817
(SuperPoster!)
7 38.4k hugs
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#4
((((Adhdinlove)))) Talking to him is an excellent idea. Let us know how it goes
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New Member
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: Florida
Posts: 2
5 |
#5
Im sorry your going through this. I hope people can learn from this post. I have had ADHD since I was around 5. I’ve been on medicine for it and it’s not the solution.I’m 38 years old and I have 3 kids with 3 different women. I was married for 6years and I’ve been with my youngest sons mother on and off for 14 years. Theirs times when I feel like I’m in love and then theirs times I want to be we someone else. I’ve put so many women through heart aches because of this disease. I want you to know My kids mothers would tell you that I’m the best father they know. My kids always come before anyone. Im telling you this so, you can understand some of the actions that can happen from this disease. I’ve been divorced for ten years and my ex is still waiting for me. I wish I didn’t hurt anybody. I feel so bad about the destruction I’ve caused in everyone’s life.I wish that I didn’t feel this way. I’ve had 3 different doctors tell me the exact same thing that, to just stay were I’m at and deal with it. If I could give you any advice, it’s better that you move on. You don’t want to be with someone that will puts you through this type of life. How do you picture your life with kids and a husband? Do you want your kids to have to watch their dad be depressed because he feels trapped? Do you want your kids to have to grow up in an unstable environment? Please, really think about it. There is billions of people in this world. Theirs no reason you can’t find someone else and feel even more in love with someone else. We all have choices in life. Our choices dictates how our lives turn out. Please take care.
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beauflow
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