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Default Dec 17, 2018 at 11:42 AM
  #1
Greetings.

So I've been thinking lately that a lot of my issues might be due to ADHD or some kind of related issue.

You see, I'm currently enrolled in community college working towards a web development degree. School is hard for me because I get bored easily. I can't keep myself focused no matter how hard I try. I am terrible at test taking because I can't focus on reading and memorizing the information. As a result, I average a low C or high D on most of my tests. However, I do well on hands on stuff requiring me to do something that is fun or interesting to me.

School isn't my only issue either. I have trouble committing to things or people because I get bored and decide it's not worth my time. Heck, I have trouble committing to therapy or dealing with my childhood trauma because of boredom most of the time. Last time I saw a therapist, she wanted me to write something in a journal as part of some homework, I got bored with it and never returned.

Also, I don't get a lot of value from my time. It isn't uncommon for me to get lost in my head and daydream when I need to do something I don't want to do without realizing it half of the time. I slack off on my chores because chores are boring. I didn't get my apartment clean until the other day and that was only because pest control was scheduled by my apartment people and I didn't want people coming in seeing the filth I live in so I finally got the apartment looking presentable enough (trash wasn't piling on the floor and coffee grounds weren't spilled everywhere anymore). I get bored at work and end up getting hyper and making jokes when I should be working. I'm actually surprised I lasted as long as I have at this job because it isn't all that uncommon for my work performance to degrade because I would rather think about something fun like video game strategies, an epic anime battle, the secrets of the universe, or one of my many ideas than move some stupid tables for a bunch of people that don't give a crap about me. Oh, and I can get angry at somebody or something but become calm and completely forget about what even made me angry 5 minutes later.

Also one of my best friends who I've been open with regarding some of my mental health issues (because he has them too), flat out asked me one day if I had ADHD because when we were talking, I couldn't keep eye contact and I wouldn't be able to hold still. He said I tend to look everywhere when we talk and that I seem restless and fidgity, and he mentioned that I have a habit of changing subjects rather quickly.


So yeah, I know there is an issue. I can't help but to think that my quality of life would improve if I got more value out of my time. I just can't stay focused no matter how hard I try. I know they say you needed to have issues with ADHD as a kid but I was never diagnosed. I was diagnosed with explosive anger disorder and oppositional defiant disorder though so maybe those count. I'll try to get a diagnosis soon but it's just hard getting places when I live in a state with **** public transportation without a car.

Anyways, thoughts?
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Default Dec 17, 2018 at 12:57 PM
  #2
You don't need to have been diagnosed as a kid- they will just review your childhood "symptoms" with you see see if there were signs of it then.

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Default Dec 17, 2018 at 01:07 PM
  #3
I can relate to what you say, DarknessIsMyFriend. I have the same struggles. Unfortunately I don't know if you have ADHD or not, although from what you wrote I'd say it's very possible. The only way to know for sure is to see a dcotor and get a proper diagnosis. After that, you can decide where to go from there. Let us know how it goes! Sending many hugs to you
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Default Dec 17, 2018 at 01:36 PM
  #4
Yeah, I've just been dreading having to go see the mental health people.

I don't want to ride the bus or pay for an Uber and I sure as hell don't want to wake up early to do an intake at 8 in the morning and wait in a lobby full of people just to be seen.


I knew I need to do something months ago but I've been putting it off. I just don't want to do any more work.
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Default Dec 18, 2018 at 05:13 AM
  #5
I know how you feel. But I feel like it may be the best things for you. Either way, the final decision is up to you. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Dec 18, 2018 at 10:31 AM
  #6
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Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend View Post
Also, I don't get a lot of value from my time. It isn't uncommon for me to get lost in my head and daydream when I need to do something I don't want to do without realizing it half of the time. I slack off on my chores because chores are boring. I didn't get my apartment clean until the other day and that was only because pest control was scheduled by my apartment people and I didn't want people coming in seeing the filth I live in so I finally got the apartment looking presentable enough (trash wasn't piling on the floor and coffee grounds weren't spilled everywhere anymore). I get bored at work and end up getting hyper and making jokes when I should be working
I will say that everyone I know who has gone to the doctor for ADHD has then be diagnosed with it.

But from my point of view you are just normal. I also daydream a lot and I can go an entire weekend without doing chores I would much prefer to play on the internet. Plus I hate the way they are the same chores weekly.

I need to take frequent breaks at work as I get bored and need something to "stimulate" me intellectually.

Personally I think it is too much work. It is as if I have only a certain amount of space in my head and if you push more into my head than I have room for I get distracted and spacey. I day dream and don't do the work because I know I have no real shot and getting it done.

IMHO medical professionals don't have anything but drugs for you and I am not sure the side effects of the drugs are worth it, not to mention the addictive properties.
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Default Dec 18, 2018 at 10:48 AM
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Default Dec 18, 2018 at 12:04 PM
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
I will say that everyone I know who has gone to the doctor for ADHD has then be diagnosed with it.

But from my point of view you are just normal. I also daydream a lot and I can go an entire weekend without doing chores I would much prefer to play on the internet. Plus I hate the way they are the same chores weekly.

I need to take frequent breaks at work as I get bored and need something to "stimulate" me intellectually.

Personally I think it is too much work. It is as if I have only a certain amount of space in my head and if you push more into my head than I have room for I get distracted and spacey. I day dream and don't do the work because I know I have no real shot and getting it done.

IMHO medical professionals don't have anything but drugs for you and I am not sure the side effects of the drugs are worth it, not to mention the addictive properties.

Yeah, IDK what else to do though but maybe get some meds just for now until I can get to where I can make more money so I can try more alternative methods. Normally I'm against medication but if I'm overworked now, than I'll never get a finish school/get a decent job/start a business or anything else that I want to do because my classes have been rather easy for the most part. When I get to the harder stuff than I'm worried I'll fail. That is also true with me also trying to balance a job and trying to do my eBay selling on the side.

I could try alternative methods like supplements, but I've tried a few already and they don't work. Hell, I take 6-8 different supplements a day and they do very little for me and quite frankly, I cannot afford to keep this up. I could get a doctor to prescribe me something and get a months worth supply for under $20 since I make under 10 grand a year, where as I'm spending many times more than that on supplements, which, quite frankly, I cannot continue doing.
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Default Dec 18, 2018 at 12:11 PM
  #9

Thanks.


Took that 3 minute test and scored a 36. It says ADHD is likely.

Goodie me.
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Default Dec 18, 2018 at 12:18 PM
  #10
Also, my issue is so bad that I've put off going to the grocery store when I'm almost out of food because it's boring and stressful.

I flat out haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon, yet I have been putting off going to the store. It's not like I don't have money for food either because I do.

You know you have an issue when you literally starve yourself because you find shopping boring lol

Oh well, maybe this puppy fat will burn off me and maybe I can get a girl to be into me so w/e. Food is overrated haha

Got plenty of caffeine still that's all I need!

Last edited by Anonymous52222; Dec 18, 2018 at 12:31 PM..
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Default Dec 19, 2018 at 11:21 AM
  #11
If it's even affecting your own diet, I'd say there's definitely an issue, DarknessIsMyFriend... I hope you'll see your doctor soon. Sending many hugs to you
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Default Dec 20, 2018 at 01:46 AM
  #12
Ya it also doesn't help that I have both a Taco Bell and an On Que across the parking lot from my apartments.

Instead of going grocery shopping, I give into the impulse of buying $1 burritos and cheap energy drinks.

It's so bad at this point that I'm known by name at that Taco Bell location by almost every employee in the store. I've bought much food from them that they wave at me and greet me by name and ask me how school is going and one of the girls that works there might even like me because she's given me free stuff. Like I've probably spent $200-300 at that store in the last year lol

Yeah, I have issues haha
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Default Dec 21, 2018 at 05:49 AM
  #13
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
I will say that everyone I know who has gone to the doctor for ADHD has then be diagnosed with it.
What makes you say this? I have not experienced doctors blanket labeling people with adhd.

Quote:
IMHO medical professionals don't have anything but drugs for you and I am not sure the side effects of the drugs are worth it, not to mention the addictive properties.
I am sorry that you feel this way about doctors. IME there are a lot of people who desperately need meds for adhd but cant get them due to the fact that doctors are afraid of controlled substances. Side effects can happen with any drugs not just the ones for adhd. And it has been proven that untreated adhd can make people with addictions worse off. I forget the percentage but people with adhd are a certain percent more likely to have drug and alcohol problems when untreated. I tend to get bothered by people saying that adhd is so easy to get diagnosed with and prescribed treatment for it. Its almost like its ok for people to put down adhd and its treatment because people do not always value the impairments of adhd as much as the impairments of other mental health issues.
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Default Dec 21, 2018 at 07:24 AM
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What makes you say this? I have not experienced doctors blanket labeling people with adhd.


I am sorry that you feel this way about doctors. IME there are a lot of people who desperately need meds for adhd but cant get them due to the fact that doctors are afraid of controlled substances. Side effects can happen with any drugs not just the ones for adhd. And it has been proven that untreated adhd can make people with addictions worse off. I forget the percentage but people with adhd are a certain percent more likely to have drug and alcohol problems when untreated. I tend to get bothered by people saying that adhd is so easy to get diagnosed with and prescribed treatment for it. Its almost like its ok for people to put down adhd and its treatment because people do not always value the impairments of adhd as much as the impairments of other mental health issues.

Now, I'm discouraged from going to the mental health center.

Oh well, there is always weed
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Default Dec 21, 2018 at 11:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Emily Fox Seaton View Post
I will say that everyone I know who has gone to the doctor for ADHD has then be diagnosed with it.

But from my point of view you are just normal. I also daydream a lot and I can go an entire weekend without doing chores I would much prefer to play on the internet. Plus I hate the way they are the same chores weekly.

I need to take frequent breaks at work as I get bored and need something to "stimulate" me intellectually.

Personally I think it is too much work. It is as if I have only a certain amount of space in my head and if you push more into my head than I have room for I get distracted and spacey. I day dream and don't do the work because I know I have no real shot and getting it done.

IMHO medical professionals don't have anything but drugs for you and I am not sure the side effects of the drugs are worth it, not to mention the addictive properties.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DarknessIsMyFriend View Post
Now, I'm discouraged from going to the mental health center.

Oh well, there is always weed
Do not be discouraged.
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Default Dec 21, 2018 at 09:32 PM
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Do not be discouraged.

Well, you make it sound kinda like I will have a hard time getting help.

I really don't need any other difficulties in life ATM.
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Default Dec 27, 2018 at 04:26 AM
  #17
Darkness I didnt mean to make you feel discouraged. I just wanted to share that yes, its not easy but it is possible. Doctors are more discriminate than they used to be which is actually a good thing. I do not know how old you are but in the 90's there were a lot of boys medicated for adhd. Some who needed it and some who didnt. They used to call them "ritalin kids" so I think doctor's being more thorough is a good thing. And yes. doctors are scared of CII substances but not all doctors.
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Default Dec 27, 2018 at 12:26 PM
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Darkness I didnt mean to make you feel discouraged. I just wanted to share that yes, its not easy but it is possible. Doctors are more discriminate than they used to be which is actually a good thing. I do not know how old you are but in the 90's there were a lot of boys medicated for adhd. Some who needed it and some who didnt. They used to call them "ritalin kids" so I think doctor's being more thorough is a good thing. And yes. doctors are scared of CII substances but not all doctors.

Well, I do feel discouraged now.

You know why I don't see a therapist? Simple. Too much damn work. Expecting me to open an hour per week of my precious time just to go to a therapist plus time for their stupid homework only to have to wait months or years for results (if they appear at all)? No thanks. The same can be said about antidepressants. Like hell I'm going to put in the work of going to a doctor just to take something that takes 6-8 weeks to do anything.

I only considered the ADHD meds because I was looking for a quick short-term fix so I can get more out of my time for the next few months only so I can succeed with my latest money making scheme and drop out of school. Would need a lot of effort to do so since I would still need to keep my student job until my plans start bearing fruit so to speak so remaining a student is paramount for my ambitions. Once I started succeeding with my plans I would stop taking their crap and start treating my issues my own way.

The whole point to what I'm trying to accomplish is to get out of working so much. I'm not going to go into detail on here but I am working on a way to make as much (or more!) money as working for a full time job with 10-20 hours of work per week max. I hate any type of working with a passion (and that includes working to "help" myself because the mental health system tells me I should) and just want to have fun and live in the moment.

Now I'm beginning to think that it's not worth the trouble to even try. I would be better off just getting high off some dank weed at this point at least weed has helped me in the past.
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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 05:57 AM
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Well, I do feel discouraged now.
let me make sure I understand you. By being realistic and honest I discouraged you from trying to help yourself by..perhaps seeing a doctor to confirm your adhd suspicions before just giving you medication? Even though I didnt suggest a therapist per se I discouraged you from trying talk therapy because its too much work for you? You cant spare one hour once a week and possibly 20 additional minutes of dedicated thought about your own issues and your own life in order to promote wellness? You would be willing to take stimulants because hey, its like the movie limitless right? But antidepressants are the big bad wolves?
And at what point in life can you ever get a guarantee about personal results? Even this plan you have to work less and make more money you cant get a guarantee. Many people would hear you say that and assume its like a get rich quick scheme. I am not saying that's what you mean. 6-8 weeks is nothing if you end up feeling better. I'd take 15 minutes of spectacular over a lifetime of nothing special.
Quote:
I only considered the ADHD meds because I was looking for a quick short-term fix so I can get more out of my time for the next few months only so I can succeed with my latest money making scheme and drop out of school. Would need a lot of effort to do so since I would still need to keep my student job until my plans start bearing fruit so to speak so remaining a student is paramount for my ambitions. Once I started succeeding with my plans I would stop taking their crap and start treating my issues my own way.

The whole point to what I'm trying to accomplish is to get out of working so much. I'm not going to go into detail on here but I am working on a way to make as much (or more!) money as working for a full time job with 10-20 hours of work per week max. I hate any type of working with a passion (and that includes working to "help" myself because the mental health system tells me I should) and just want to have fun and live in the moment.

Now I'm beginning to think that it's not worth the trouble to even try. I would be better off just getting high off some dank weed at this point at least weed has helped me in the past.
Good for you. I am glad that you would rather trivialize the importance of medications *in particular adhd meds which are now becoming an *** pain to get* in order to pull you through a few rough months so you can finish school and get rich. You can say all you want about the "mental health system" but usually the people ranting about the system are the ones that refuse to try it.
And for the record I have zero issues with weed of any kind and do not think it should be illegal. But people that glorify bad weed as if its in the same category and medication that can be life saving gets my fur in a fluff. Seriously if Cannibus is working out so well for you then you have your solution.

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Default Dec 28, 2018 at 02:57 PM
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let me make sure I understand you. By being realistic and honest I discouraged you from trying to help yourself by..perhaps seeing a doctor to confirm your adhd suspicions before just giving you medication? Even though I didnt suggest a therapist per se I discouraged you from trying talk therapy because its too much work for you? You cant spare one hour once a week and possibly 20 additional minutes of dedicated thought about your own issues and your own life in order to promote wellness? You would be willing to take stimulants because hey, its like the movie limitless right? But antidepressants are the big bad wolves?

I would rather spend that 1 hour and 20 minutes per week playing video games or watching a few episodes of my favorite anime because those are things that are guaranteed to bring me immediate joy instead of being miserable in the short term (having to deal with my issues hurts too damn much) only to have a "chance" at being better way later down the line.

I just hate doctors and mental health professionals in general. I don't trust them at all and had bad experiences with them. I tried to take meds in the past but had a really bad experience (with SSRIs I believe but don't remember) and almost died from one of the pills I was on so I'm scared to take them again. I trust weed more because it doesn't have negative side effects even though it might not work as well some pills the risk isn't worth the reward to me when it comes to most medicine.

I have had **** experiences with therapists. The last one I saw flat out told me she can't help me after seeing her for over 6 months. The one before told me I couldn't see him anymore because I didn't have insurance and the grant I was on wore off. The one before that tried to take my video games away and found out what happens when people try to take one of the few things away that bring me any kind of happiness in this dark and lonely world.

So I've tried both therapy and medication, yet you seem insistent on attacking me on my own thread. What did I do to deserve your judgements anyways?

So yeah, I am sorry that I'm the way I am. I wish I wasn't but I don't have the same resources that you normies do. I don't have people to love me. I don't have hardly any support in my life. I don't have the same skills as other people because my mother didn't give a **** and failed to teach me how to survive in the world as an adult. I have had no help when I needed it the most. So yeah, I have to be this way to survive because I am a disadvantage since I lack the skills/resource the typical normal person has.

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