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Old 08-30-2019, 05:57 PM   #1
Desoxyn
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Default I'm literally procrastinating a million things (ADD and schizophrenia)

WHY do I procrastinate so much? Is that ADD and schizophrenia?

I'm telling my psychiatrist to put my invega injection back to every 3 weeks instead of 4 weeks. Idk if a benzo or olanzepine would work idk. I'm on 50mg Vyvanse. Idk if it's the antipsychotic-stimulant mix cancelling each other out.

Nothing works.

I aways have like 20-30 tabs open on my browser because I get bored. When I want to read something, I bookmark it to read later but I NEVER read it :/
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Old 08-30-2019, 06:18 PM   #2
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Default Re: I'm literally procrastinating a million things (ADD and schizophrenia)

When I read a book or start a creative project.I start out very enthusiastic and around completion of about 30_40%,I slowly lose interest and after 50_60%,stall completely.I struggle very much finishing it.There are so many books,projects laying around.Sometimes years.Trying to overcome.
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Old 11-06-2019, 07:12 PM   #3
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Default Re: I'm literally procrastinating a million things (ADD and schizophrenia)

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Old 11-06-2019, 07:27 PM   #4
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Default Re: I'm literally procrastinating a million things (ADD and schizophrenia)

Procrastination is such a demon...
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Old 12-22-2019, 01:03 PM   #5
Desoxyn
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Default Re: I'm literally procrastinating a million things (ADD and schizophrenia)

So the Vyvanse has made me more organized at least even though I'm procrastinating. This is what I'm planning on this winter;

- I’m on Invega Sustenna 150mg every 4 weeks. I want to decrease to 100mg.. but my psychiatrist will probably put it to 100mg every 3 weeks.. This is why;

150mg divided by 21 days = 7.14mg (Before)
150mg divided by 28 days = 5.36mg (Now)
100mg divided by 21 days = 4.76mg (Next step)
100mg divided by 28 days = 3.57mg (Next step after that)

So at least it's decreased by half.

- Then I want to maybe decrease the 50mg night atenolol to 25mg and keep the morning dose at 50mg.
- 50mg Vyvanse will stay the same (But I want an optional 2x 5mg Dexedrine to take when I need to focus in the evening).
- 50mg Seroquel will stay the same.
- 25mg CBD every night.
- Then I will get rid of the 10mg melatonin at night (To 5mg then 0mg).
- I have 17 refills of 20x 5mg Zyprexa which I'll use for psychosis caused by withdrawal of the injection.
- 4x fish oil and 1000ui vitamin D every day (Will ask doctor for blood test to see how much vitamin D I need every day + SAD lamp for the winter).
- Already quit smoking cigarettes 6 months ago (Will use nicotine gum for a year or two then quit).
- Caffeine

Then 3mg legal psilacetin (Soul revealing psychedelic microdose) and 2.5mg THC gummy every morning for a month (3g shroom).
Skiing, snowshoeing and hiking (Exercise), (Summer = Hiking, mountain biking and running).
No alcohol (Soul eating spirit).
Routine.
20 minutes of meditation every evening.
Solving hard puzzles on brain game apps and internet.
Talking to people at coffee connections.
GABA during talks with treatment team to improve sociality with my thoughts.
Reading books at least an hour every day and at least one short story.
Podcasts at least an hour every day.
Watch interesting Netflix shows.
Warm showers for 5 minutes, followed by cold showers for 5 minutes, followed by colder water for 30 seconds and then warm water for 20 seconds.
3 day water fasts twice in one month to - Kill precancerous cells, re-set insulin sensitivity, improve immunity, increase muscle mass, longevity, improve will-power, develop the ability to fast if needed, reduce body fat?, more energy, motivation, mood and focus!, spiritual experience, detoxify from bad chemicals and enhance learning and memory.
10 hours of sleep every night (Instead of 12 - Sleep at 12am, wake up at 9am, take Vyvanse, go back to sleep, wake up again at 10am).
Get part time job.
Research investing in stock market, cryptocurrency and day trading (Discord and reddit, psychonaut and investing servers).
Research notes on a few different things such as paradox, anhedonia, cure for different mental illnesses.
Writing songs and poems, playing guitar and piano and using synth on computer, find inspiring songs.
Add autistic savant guy and transgender m2f lesbian (Two smart people - One is the biggest online drug dealer in Canada and other is like Alexander Shulgin that creates her own molecules) to my WhatsApp group of research chemical friends.
Research about my moms specific breast cancer.
Think about what books I want to write in the future - Study omnist religious study, western esotericism, buddhism, science fiction, philosophy (Alan Watts, Terence Mckenna).
Watch news (And investing news) and research conspiracies.
Learn about one country every day (Learn Spanish).
Maybe study cryptography and coding.
Find careers (Go back to doing college courses).
Learn about addiction, psychedelic therapy and pharmacology.
Learn about hacking and scamming.
Learn to draw and how to make money online.
Learn one new word every day.

The autistic savant guy said to not take "Learning 50 different skills" when he was my age literally but I did..

Type of advice I give to myself;

“It's just a thing that happens. There's alway many ways to get better.. just not knowing how.. How are other people well? Their brains are working properly.. You can't give up. Keep surviving. Maybe you don't have the proper treatment team, the right meds, something bad happened to you which you're currently thinking about.. and then there's the maintaining on top of all of those things like taking care of yourself mentally and physically like anyone else would. It's a load of crap that you need to think about on top of mental illness and how to deal with it and be better (But you're just maintaining not going off into the deep end).

It's a lot of work. Then people judge you for what you do and you have thoughts of outside forces playing you like a game.

Everything can be really beautiful, calm, awakening and full of life experience. No one wants to die when the afterlife is a mystery or whether or not it even exists.. if it doesn't exist, then everything that is your ego is what wants to stay alive and the only thing that makes you want to die is the pain.

It can feel like when you're in the state of feeling dysphoric and having paranoia and delusions that you'll be this way forever with periods of just being "OK" in between so like, "Is it worth it?". It always is. It's not a choice because you never know if you're dead.

Try doing things to distract yourself (Coping mechanisms) like making tea, just sitting down and thinking even though it's agony because your brain is trying to figure things out along with the chemical imbalance. Depression and psychosis is a form of addiction because you're always constantly stuck in a loop, feeding off itself. If there was a way to reset the brain to default mode, you'd see that everything that you are can be changed. We're constantly changing and you don't have to be stuck in the hell that you're in.”
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Old 12-22-2019, 01:05 PM   #6
Desoxyn
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Default Re: I'm literally procrastinating a million things (ADD and schizophrenia)

40-50mg is a perfect dose because I don't want to be too focused but also not too unfocused either. I like the happy medium.
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