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Old 01-08-2020, 01:25 PM   #1
Bookworm257
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Unhappy The Emotional Burden of ADHD

Something that does not get talked about, like at all, is the emotional and social burden of dealing with ADHD. Like, we have problems with concentrating and starting/finishing tasks and we can be impulsive- everyone knows that. But these problems can actually lead to really low self esteem. When I forget something five minutes after someone told me it (and after they told me that it was really important), or when I try to do my homework but end up staring at the page for almost an hour, unable to actually read it or write anything down because my brain just says "no" for no reason, or when I make mistakes over and over (even at my job, which leaves me paranoid I'll get fired for being careless/stupid and not learning from my mistakes), it really builds up.

I was on medication for about 5 years, and I got a little support in elemenatary school, but after that it was left untreated pretty much, and it's caused a lot of problems in my life. People make it clear they think I'm irresponsible, lazy, or stupid (sometimes, they straight up tell me this). I feel guilty about it so much but don't know how to stop making these mistakes. My brain is wired to A) make more mistakes than other people, and B), on top of that, take much longer to learn from past mistakes. I often find myself going into my bedroom or the bathroom and crying after making small mistakes that don't really matter. Like, last week I was sick so I told my dad to get his plate for dinner first so I don't spread germs, then like not even 20 seconds later I touch the handle on the serving spoon because in that small space if time I forgot about it. For normal people, this might happen every once in a while, but for me it happens on the regular. I pretended I needed to pee and cried in the bathroom for a few minutes because I thought about all the mistakes like that that I make, all the time. It makes me feel stupid, worthless, and even childish. I feel like I just end up annoying everyone and they all come to hate me eventually.

Does anyone else feel this way? I know some of you do.

I read an article about how people with ADHD have higher rates of depression and suicide than the average population. Did you know that 70% of people with ADHD are also diagniosed with depression at some point in their lives?! THe article pointed to reason like the way the ADHD brain is wired, how side effects of medications can mimick depression, and they even looked into the family functioning of people with ADHD (there is no reson why people with ADHD would randomly have mre dysfunctional families, this doesn't make sense). These reasons might be a little true, but one huge reason I think is overlooked is that people with ADHD have lower self esteem. Their bran works differently than others' brains, and this makes them feel stupid or worthless as they may not be completely caught up with others their age.

I have felt suicidal in the past. (In the past!!!) It really does take a toll on me.

Do any of you feel the same way? Please share your thoughts.
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Old 01-09-2020, 02:34 PM   #2
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Default Re: The Emotional Burden of ADHD

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bookworm257 View Post
Something that does not get talked about, like at all, is the emotional and social burden of dealing with ADHD. Like, we have problems with concentrating and starting/finishing tasks and we can be impulsive- everyone knows that. But these problems can actually lead to really low self esteem. When I forget something five minutes after someone told me it (and after they told me that it was really important), or when I try to do my homework but end up staring at the page for almost an hour, unable to actually read it or write anything down because my brain just says "no" for no reason, or when I make mistakes over and over (even at my job, which leaves me paranoid I'll get fired for being careless/stupid and not learning from my mistakes), it really builds up.

I was on medication for about 5 years, and I got a little support in elemenatary school, but after that it was left untreated pretty much, and it's caused a lot of problems in my life. People make it clear they think I'm irresponsible, lazy, or stupid (sometimes, they straight up tell me this). I feel guilty about it so much but don't know how to stop making these mistakes. My brain is wired to A) make more mistakes than other people, and B), on top of that, take much longer to learn from past mistakes. I often find myself going into my bedroom or the bathroom and crying after making small mistakes that don't really matter. Like, last week I was sick so I told my dad to get his plate for dinner first so I don't spread germs, then like not even 20 seconds later I touch the handle on the serving spoon because in that small space if time I forgot about it. For normal people, this might happen every once in a while, but for me it happens on the regular. I pretended I needed to pee and cried in the bathroom for a few minutes because I thought about all the mistakes like that that I make, all the time. It makes me feel stupid, worthless, and even childish. I feel like I just end up annoying everyone and they all come to hate me eventually.

Does anyone else feel this way? I know some of you do.

I read an article about how people with ADHD have higher rates of depression and suicide than the average population. Did you know that 70% of people with ADHD are also diagniosed with depression at some point in their lives?! THe article pointed to reason like the way the ADHD brain is wired, how side effects of medications can mimick depression, and they even looked into the family functioning of people with ADHD (there is no reson why people with ADHD would randomly have mre dysfunctional families, this doesn't make sense). These reasons might be a little true, but one huge reason I think is overlooked is that people with ADHD have lower self esteem. Their bran works differently than others' brains, and this makes them feel stupid or worthless as they may not be completely caught up with others their age.

I have felt suicidal in the past. (In the past!!!) It really does take a toll on me.

Do any of you feel the same way? Please share your thoughts.


I would like to see the artickle if you have a link to it (these things facinate me), like artickles and stuff

it must be really difficult to go through what you are going through. I don't know, I'm not diagnosed with ADHD- and though I share a lot of experience (the depression, the feeling suicidal, making mistakes) I can't imagine how it is on your level

(((hugs))))
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Old 01-11-2020, 06:40 AM   #3
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Default Re: The Emotional Burden of ADHD

Adhd as an adult is really hard. Its not like the 90's ritalin boys where they were hyper. The procrastination and getting stuck has really been hard. Many people do not understand the adult version of adhd. Trying to raise a family and manage all the stuff that goes along with it is difficult.
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Old 01-11-2020, 04:08 PM   #4
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Cheer up friend! You are amazing! They don't see that.. You can do many cool things if you put your mind to it, weaving through a mess of thoughts and feelings and you need positive people in your life and love to make you stronger! The world is a messed up place.. Full of violence, torture, sniper scopes from a kilometer away in some countries.. Live the dream, what they say doesn't matter.. What you think of yourself shouldn't be based on what they say.. We're all different and all have our strengths and weaknesses which many people don't realize so develop those strengths and weaknesses..

I love all people. I wish more people were like me and can understand that all people are like different flowers. You can walk past a bunch of flowers every day and not notice them. The flowers don't care if you don't notice them. They just ARE. Perfect. That's what perfection is. Sink into who you are and you will change. Life is hard. It's really really hard but you will come out a very strong person. Don't let them get you down!
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Old 01-13-2020, 09:27 PM   #5
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Default Re: The Emotional Burden of ADHD

This is an article that I posted that discusses ADHD and depression.

When Depression Is Really Untreated ADHD
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Old 01-19-2020, 06:37 PM   #6
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Default Re: The Emotional Burden of ADHD

ADHD provides substantial roadblocks from those of us who have it. I worked as a paralegal for over 35 years and it never was easy. I learned to live with my mistakes and tried hard to not blame myself unless blame was appropriate. For me, ADHD means that when I work, I can almost never relax and that vigilance has taken a toll. But having gotten older, I try to remember the times that the ADHD was a gift. Oh was I really mad when I was diagnosed, but with the medication, I do very well now and when I make a mistake, I say to myself "Oh just get over it" In the legal profession, lawyers, etc. always act as if one mistake is going to destroy the case or whatever. Guess what, even in law, there is a redo - just remember that. And always try to remember that because of ADHD you have unbelievable gifts that so many others dont. Focus on the positive aspects every single day and you will soon realize it might just be possible to enjoy it. OH I cannot believe I said that. Be positive about yourself, your efforts and who you are. ADHD really doesnt define you. And you might have throw some friends or others under the bus if they cannot accept you as you are - and if they cant, are they worth it?
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